This is Not a Game
by Kerrus
Summary: All things happen in their order. From beginning to end, without interruption. But when a casual sci-fi geek wakes up one morning to find he's left his world behind, everything can change. An SI megacross with a dash of realism.  Ie: Not a hilarious Sue
1. Leave All Behind

This has happened before. I never thought it'd happen again. You probably aren't familiar with Ragnarok- not the war, but the fanfic. Writing myself, and a motley collection of Spacebattlers as we were ripped out of our home reality and dumped into a war zone. Changes were made. So were mistakes. Eventually it ended, unfinished. In time, it was forgotten.

But not, apparently, by everyone.

This has happened before. I threw myself out of bed- frantic, reacting to some dream thing, some unformed threat. I stood- and as I blinked myself awake realized that this time there was something different. For one, I wasn't in my room.

Point of fact, I wasn't sure where I was. The room was spartan, but elegant. It had a sort of minimalist appeal to it, all recessed lines and smooth edges. It was then that I became aware that I was not alone. There was a girl in the room, maybe sixteen. Long black hair, and eyes almost a shade of amethyst. She was Japanese, obviously, and dressed in a beige school uniform of some sort- but I didn't immediately place where I knew it from.

"... the hell?" I began.

"You should not be here," She said, as though it wasn't obvious. "How did you get in here?"

She spoke English well, but there was the barest hint of an accent.

"Hell if I know. This is..." I paused, and really looked around. There was something familiar about this room, but I didn't know what. "Where are we?"

"This is my house. Do you truly not know how you got here?" She seemed... bewildered. Suspicious. I didn't know her, so I could only estimate what she might be feeling. Nonverbal cues were never my strong suit.

Abruptly, she turned and exited the room, glancing back over her shoulder at me. Follow?

I followed her after a few moments- moments I used to try and get a sense for what was going on and found myself in a white room. A clock chimed, and I glanced up. Above me was the workings of a vast clock, clicking and turning away. The girl herself had sat down at one of several benches, arranged in a circular fashion. Behind her drifted several images, depicting ancient texts, diagrams, and oh so familiar pictures.

Abruptly I knew where I was.

"Oh," I muttered under my breath.

Shit.

This has happened before. But it was just a game before, just a story. Now it's real, and I... what the hell am I going to do.

"My name is Kerrus," I began, deciding to get it out into the open. "And I'm from another universe."

It sounded strange. Hell, it sounded ludicrous. But it really was the only answer I could see.

"Homura Akemi," she replied, confirming my fears. She wasn't even phased at my appearance, why should she be phased at my claim?

Of course, surely she would want to know how I had arrived at the conclusion I was from another universe. That sort of thing isn't usually what people think when they wake up in a strange place. But I didn't think like other people.

"Just so you understand, I have no idea how I got here. And what I can see of here scares me shitless. So really, there's just one pertinent question I need to ask before this discussion goes any further."

Homura maintained eye contact, but said nothing else.

"Which loop is this?"

Her eyes narrowed, and I heard the click of a pistol.

Fuck.

_Hello, Homura-san. Who is your friend?_

I glanced from the now gun wielding girl, then turned and looked behind me. Perched on one of the railings was Kyubey. Or as I knew him, the- don't finish that thought.

His red eyes turned, but I could not discern if they saw me. They looked like glass orbs. For all I knew, they were.

_I don't usually make exceptions, but is there anything you want? Anything you would wish for?_ he said, the voice sounding in my mind.

"Get out," Homura said, pointing the gun at the little white abomination. She'd spoken in Japanese, but already the familiar was acting as a telepathic hub- I'd heard her words echoed in my mind and verbally. The strange thing was that the thought itself was Japanese... but I could still understand it.

_Now, now, Homura-san, we both know that won't work. Besides, I'm just the messenger. I'm sure you'll want to know its progress. Walpurgisnacht will be here soon._

Ah. Of course.

"Could you really send me home? Do you have that kind of power?" I asked, not seriously considering it. In all likely hood, Kyuubey's kind didn't exist in my world. That meant no Puella Magick. It meant no witches- what power I gained from such a hypothetical exchange would be wasted. If I was lucky, I would never use it again. But the consequences- including eventual witchdom... eeeyeh.

_I don't have any power. As Homura-san knows, I'm just the facilitator. Any means of transcending the entropy exists within you. But perhaps the possibility exists._

It was neither conformation, nor denial. I began to see how a young girl could be taken in by that kind of reasoning.

"Then no thanks. Besides, there aren't any Witches to fight where I come from," I replied after a moment.

_Aren't there?_ Kyuubey asked, tilting its head. A gunshot rang out, in the space between seconds- but Kyubey was gone.

Goddamn, I am so screwed.

"I don't mean to impose," I began, turning back to Homura-san. "But..."

"You may stay," she said, answering. Then she stood and headed for the door- a door I hadn't seen before. I followed, and realized that it was a recessed opening within one of the walls. The white room's walls were so finely made that one could barely see them except up close.

"Thank you. How long until the end of the-?" I had been about to say loop, but I realized that such only applied to her.

"Four weeks, maybe five."

"Not a lot of time to enjoy the end of the world then," I answered. There was no reason to assume she could take me back when she jumped, or that she even would. If Kyubey was right about my 'potential', Homura might not even possess the capability. Maybe.

It's so different theorizing about real things, rather than fictional things masquerading as logic.

"Is there anything I can do to help?"

I didn't actually except there would be. She had already been through hell and back- always back. What could I do but offer?

"Dinner will be at 7. There's some money in the drawer," she replied. Then I was alone.

"She wants me to have dinner with her? Huh," I said aloud. Then I set about looking for a computer. If there was one in here, it was probably recessed into the walls, just like everything else in the white room. If I could find it, I might be able to actually do something. Although if it was worth anything, I wouldn't know until later.

Ahah. I was right. A holographic keyboard- like the one from Madoka's room. One of the floating screens took on the appearance of a desktop with... a photo perfect shot of Madoka and... if I had to guess, it was Sayaka. The muted pink hear and ribbons was obvious, but I guess blue didn't translate that well into 'real life' o vision.

Of course, the entire interface, while bordering on familiar, was Japanese.

"Does this thing have an English mode?" I wondered. Huh. The entire thing was abruptly in English. Almost outside of my control, the mouse moved down to the clock on the bottom right of the screen, hovering over it. A small popup, indicating the date appeared. The year was 20XX.

Really?

"Really?" I repeated aloud, incredulous. "20XX?"

I opened up the web browser, typed in the Spacebattles web address, and hit enter.

"What does it matter that you're 'saving the universe' if it kills everyone on the goddamn planet," I muttered.

_The universe is worth protecting_ Kyuubey replied, having appeared just out of eyesight a moment before. I had felt the gaze though. A prickling down my back. N_ow, who are you really?_

"Who do you think I am?" I shot back. He wouldn't answer- his kind didn't volunteer information, unless it had them something to gain.

_I think you're an interloper. What has Homura-san been telling you? My work here will save the universe. Surely that's a worthy goal._

No emotions. Not just that, but willfully amoral.

"Not if nobody's around to see it. What good is a universe without life?"

_You could see it. Your potential entropy is great enough._

That...

I won't lie to you. That was tempting. Really tempting. Functioning immortality- albeit with a bit of a price? Goddamn, who was I to say no to that sort of offer?

"No." I said.

_Perhaps another time, then. In the meantime, don't interfere._

"Or what?"

Kyuubey tilted his head.

_You'll die. Surely you don't want that, right?_

* * *

><p>In the end, what I found on the internet was disappointingly normal. I had my suspicions about the nature of the world, but it seems I'd have to dig deeper to find out the truth. About the only good piece of information I found was the date- and that was only due to supposition. Ten years ago, a Tsunami had hit japan after a magnitude 9 earthquake. Nothing actually listed a real date, which was increasingly odd- just the '20XX' I'd seen before. But by itself, it meant nothing.<p>

Spacebattles existed, unsurprisingly, but the really creepy bit was- so did I. A poster named Kerrus, who posted in a style very similar to mine. I tried logging on to his account, but none of my passwords worked. Guess some things are too different.

With my internet searches done, I decided that my best bet was to go out for a walk. At the very least get a feel for the neighborhood I'd be spending the next month or so in... and then...

I didn't like to think about the impending death of the world, but there really wasn't much I could do. Puella Magi Madoka Magicka hadn't finished back home. It had been delayed due to the Tsunami. Curse my luck, but I had no idea where the series would go from the last point I saw it- or what revelations would be unlocked. While I could just hang around and hope things went 'okay', I doubted I'd be so lucky.

Walking down the street, I realized that this area was fairly abandoned. No stalls in the streets, no people. I wondered how much of it had been here before, and how much Homura had brought back with her after the last loop. Oh, there were a couple people- some teenagers skipping school, and at least one duty cop trying to round them up, but otherwise it was... quiet. I took the time to memorize the street signs, and then caught a bus to the inner city. I didn't know what Madoka's school was called, so I navigated by landmarks. Although, let me tell you that not speaking the language does not make it easy to get around.

Eventually, I made it to the neighborhood where the mainstream area of the series took place. I just hoped that my memories matched the reality as much as reality- so far- matched my memories.

So I picked a bridge and occupied it.

Maybe an hour passed before I spotted something. Two girls, one with pink hair and ribbons.

Man, if I got arrested for being a stalker, I would be so pissed. But I had to know how far into the loop we were, and that meant following them- at least assuming that today was a day as shown in the series. I couldn't assume that each episode compromised only a single day. While some were arranged obviously back to back, others were likely spread out a bit more. Homura had mentioned 'five or six weeks' until Walpurgisnacht arrived, and given the statement of 'two weeks' until its arrival during the course of the show, that gave me... three weeks at best. Most likely less.

I kept my distance from the girls, although I caught Kyuubey glancing in my direction a couple times. I imagine that I was either suspicious as all hell, or 'just another tourist'- hopefully it was the latter. Naturally, I couldn't understand anything they were saying, but maybe they'd pass a landmark I could recog- that's the hospital.

We're in episode 3.

* * *

><p>My original plan was to find the Witch's mark and, quite simply, stand in front of it. Madoka and Sayaka wouldn't notice it, and continue on their way. If I was lucky, I could get out without further endangering myself. There would be no need for anyone to die.<p>

Naturally, no plan survives first contact. The first hint of trouble came when I lost Madoka behind a gaggle of doctors rushing to the emergency ward. I didn't have any reason to be in the hospital myself, and the presence of an English speaking foreigner with no ID would... probably not go over well with security. So instead, I headed back out and decided to look for the Witch's mark while Sayaka was visiting her friend.

You might ask why I'm going to such lengths to change things- why I'm trying to save the lives of someone who a mere day ago was just fiction. I'll tell you that it was never fiction to me- it was real. Just a different kind of real. If I can act to prevent an atrocity, I will surely act. It's not like I've got long to wait otherwise. This world is living on borrowed time.

"Where... the hell... are you?" I muttered aloud. I'd passed the bike racks three times now, but there was no mark. If my memories were accurate, I had the right area, but... no witch. Could there be a delay on this sort of thing?

Green hair. A girl, clutching her sides in pain. Well, this was a hospital.

"Excuse me, do you need help?" I asked. It was a long shot that she spoke English, but it was possible. Homura did.

"S-stay away," she shouted at me. Her eyes were... there was something about her eyes that was familiar- but I couldn't quite figure it out.

What little medical training I had told me that she was in serious pain. She needed a doctor. My original mission forgotten- or at least waylaid, I moved to assist her.

"No!" a flash, the smell of something sickly sweet. A green coloured blade pointed at me. "You..."

She grimaced in pain.

"You need to run!"

I could see it now, what she held to her side, as she shook. It looked like a Faberg egg, but simmering with green light. Blackness clutched at it.

"What's your name?" I asked, even unwilling to stand aside in the face of such impending danger. "At least tell me your name."

"Tsu... Tsubame."

This was no story, no game. It was real, and the reality of it demanded a decision.

"Let's get you away from here. There's a cafe just down the block," I said. Then moved to help her up. She muttered something, under her breath. It sounded like 'why won't you run?'. She was crying. I was scared out of my mind.

"It hurts," she said- but not in English. I recognized the Japanese, and I replied in kind.

"It'll be okay," I lied. "It'll be okay."

We made it to the cafe. I bought her a slice of cheesecake. Or rather, I took one as the owner took one look at the fierce light of her Soul Gem and booked it out the back entrance. I'd pay him back later- if there was a later.

Tsubame was a cancer patient of course. Charlotte, the witch she was becoming, was focused on desserts- the desserts that Tsubame could never have. If... maybe the cake would make a difference.

"You... you're kind," she said, tears running down her face. She favored me with a slight smile, but it didn't reach her eyes. She took a bite of the cake. "It's delicious..."

Some of her words were English. Some were Japanese, or so they seemed. But I could tell she was wracked by pain now. I wished I could take that pain away from her. Wished there was something I could do.

But who was I? I was a nobody. Some random stranger thrown into a doomed world by unknown forces. And now I was running head first towards certain doom. Tsubame would die, birthing a new Witch. If that process didn't kill me, I would surly die to the Witch herself, or be trapped forever in her labyrinth. I was no Puella Magicka, and with my change to the time line... I had no hope of rescue.

But still I refused to leave.

"It'll be okay," I repeated. I wrapped my arm around her, and placed a hand on the soul gem. I could feel it pulsing, flickering. A strange sort of ephemeral power. Spiraling towards its natural end. "It'll be over soon."

The gem burst. Tsubame's eyes went dull, and she slumped against me. This was death. Hers and mine. The newly born grief seed pulsed, then cast a cruel, anesthetic light. In the path of that light, the cafe vanished. The chairs, the windows, the walls. The street outside. Replaced with the styling of a hospital. Empty and forlorn. The seed raised, then- a flashing of light and motion, sealed itself within a metal cage. Tsubame's body fell to the ground, inert. Empty. And I...

I raged. How I raged. But I was just a guy. Just a nobody. I scraped my fists against the cage. I yelled myself hoarse. But it did nothing. I had done nothing. Only delayed the inevitable. Who was I to think that I could change things.

"You are such a dumbass," I told myself. "God fucking damn, you are such a dumbass. Why do you care so much!"

I didn't have an answer. I just knew that I did. I wondered if I'd changed things enough. Would Madoka still find the labyrinth? Would Mami still die?

Or would Charlotte partake of delicious spacebattler, om nom nom.

I really hoped I'd never actually know what om nom noms felt like. I eyed the grief seed, then settled down to wait for the inevitable.

Here lies Kerrus Magrus.

He cared too much.

* * *

><p>Life isn't easy. It was one of those things that I learned very early on. A sufferer of a socio-behavioural learning disability, my mind did not work like other people's minds did.<p>

I once considered that my greatest weakness- but time and again has proven that not thinking like other people is also my greatest strength. I mean, it's not just not arriving at the same conclusions, or having to build a virtual empathy machine (more on that later) from scratch, but like... just the underlying mechanics of my consciousness operate differently. In some particular cases, this manifested as more... computer like. The brain is a computer, of course, but it doesn't usually BSoD (except in anime), and it doesn't usually hang on a logic error for several minutes before safeties kick in. Very angry safeties.

So when I heard the tapping of shoes in the distance- a solitary figure heading towards me, I didn't react with hope or grief- but anger. God Damnit, if that's Sayaka, I am going to slap a bitch.

It...

Okay, we're in serious deviation land here.

"Kyouko?" I asked, flabbergasted. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"I could ask the same about you, gaijin," she replied. "But I owed Homura a favour, so here I am. Although I do have to ask, who exactly... is _that?_"

I turned, as she gestured, and pointed at the cage that held Tsubame's grief seed.

Except it wasn't a grief seed.

"Ano... could you help me get out?" asked Tsubame, whole and intact, locked inside the cage. I was, of course, instantly on guard, but also completely bewildered.

Tsubame turned and smiled at me.

"You were right, Kerrus-san, it doesn't hurt anymore," she said, smiling. Her hand held the former soul gem/grief seed, now looking once more like an intricate Faberg egg. Except where once it had shone green, now it was lit by a warm white. "I can't seem to use my powers."

The inner otaku who lives deep within my inner geek was squealing at how cute she was, but the me who was in charge of this operation, the me that runs all the operations, well, I was a bit more reserved.

"Tsubame, meet Kyouko. She's a friend."

"Not your friend, Gaijin. This is just a favour to Homura-chan."

"-chan?" I raised an eyebrow. More lesbian subtext. As though she hadn't had enough before. I smirked.

Kyouko flushed and turned away. Then she gestured with her spear, neatly bisecting the cage that contained Tsubame. Freed, the girl stepped out, smiling, then... latched on to my arm.

"Let's get out of here, Kerrus-san," she said. I could feel the warmness from her- alive, and well.

"Okay, hang on, two things. One. How are you alive?" I turned and asked Tsubame.

"I... before I was hurting and thinking of all the missed opportunities, all my regrets," Tsubame admitted. "It wasn't a good place for me to be. But then you came. And even though I was sure you were going to die, you didn't leave. You cared, Kerrus-san. So I had no regrets."

"No regrets, huh?"

I frowned.

"That still doesn't explain the Labyrinth," I offered. "Kyouko, did you see any familiars on your way in?"

"Keh, it was empty. Not even the typical echoes. Strangest labyrinth I've been in, Gaijin," she replied, taking a bite out of a meat bun. "I don't have all day, so let's go."

We were interrupted by a light. A blinding light, shining, burning through the labyrinth. As though it had cut a... space... into the space, it stood before us, a great cross of light, shining against the warped skies of the labyrinth.

_My apologies, but I cannot let you leave, interloper-san. I told you not to interfere. I told you that it would cost you your life. For that which I am, it was remarkably forthright, but it did not benefit me to conceal the truth from you. You knew too much._

Red eyes, and an uncaring smile in the dark. Then light again.

"What the hell is that? Witches don't talk. Just who the hell do you think you are?" Kyouko all but growled, summoning her spear. "God? Devil? I'll fight you just the same!"

_I had such hopes for you Kyouko-san. However, now that Kaname Madoka is in the picture... I don't need you at all. Even with this expenditure of energy, I'll still exceed my quota. Goodbye._

I had all of a moment to say "What?" before the ground was torn from under our feet, and we were cast down, plummeting forever in a void outside the world.


	2. Joining the Road

Pain. I guess it's normal to awake to pain when you've been thrown out of the universe by an inscrutable alien entity, but then I don't exactly have any experience with this sort of thing.

I opened my eyes- ohoh, guess what's for breakfast? MORE PAIN.

It was daylight. In fact, it was summer, beautiful weather, all of which accentuated the pain I was feeling due to the BLINDING LIGHT OF THE BLOODY SUN that was hanging over head. High noon. Great.

We were in a park. I say we because, yes, Tsubame was lying on top of Kyouko. Both passed out- or worse. I made to check their rings- but they looked intact. Each held a jewel, although Tsubame's looked more like a pearl than any natural rock.

"Hey... you still alive?" I asked, then muttered something about zombie meat puppets. I sighed, and began the arduous task of hauling myself to my feet.

Since we weren't dead, that meant we were alive. And at least the place looked like Earth, indeed, I could see what looked like a city nearby. On the outskirts. Hell, maybe we'd made it back to japan, somehow. Although a second glance told me that none of the architecture was remotely similar to that which I'd seen in Japan. Maybe we're just in the wrong 'burb.

"Mmmmf," Tsubame said, opening her green eyes. "Is she always this clingy?"

Kyouko was wrapped around older younger girl as though she were a lifeline.

"I'm begining to think so. Hey, Kyouko, you in there?" I asked. No reply. Great. At least we're not in public. Sort of. So I flicked her on the forehead.

"Who what where?" Kyouko yelled, sitting up, then abruptly stopping- the sudden motion adding to what I assumed was already a pounding headache. "Huh. We're alive."

*cough*Zombiemeatpuppet*cough*

"What did you say?"

"Nothing. I said nothing," I was pretty sure I had only thought it.

Rubbing my eyes clear, I helped Tsubame up. I offered my hand to Kyouko, but she rebuffed it, pulled herself up, then scowled at me.

"Well, I'm done. Hopefully I won't see you again," Kyouko replied. "I don't think it's worth the trouble."

"So how much did Homura-san tell you?" I asked abruptly.

"You're some crazy guy who she feels responsible for? It was good for a favour." A light flush- ah, to be in lesbians.

"So not the part where I'm from another universe, and we may actually be *in* another universe right now?"

"No... she left that part out," Kyouko said slowly, glare intensifying. "Great. So what if we're some place that Witches don't exist- what am I supposed to do about this?"

Ah, her soul gem- and a tint- a taint, really, of that black corruption. Grief, suffering, the black that drags a Puella Magi down into witchdom. uhuh- Huh.

"Oh!" Tsubame exclaimed. She held her white jewel, having pressed it against Kyouko's. The warm light was pulsing, spilling over into a warm crimson- a crimson which forced the black back. Collapsing down, there was a spark of... something, and then it vanished. "There, all better."

She's not going to...

Tsubame laid a kiss on Kyouko's Soul Gem.

"It's a spell okay?"

I'm pretty sure that wasn't a spell. But Kyouko, who had a sort of far away look on her face now- along with a more noticable flush, said nothing.

So I sat down on a bench and waited.

"Hrmph. I guess I'll stay with you for now- at least until we figure out where we are," Kyouko declared abruptly. "Hey, where'd you go."

"Here, genius."

Right. Okay. It's time to take stock. Unknown city. Unknown universe (possibly). No money beyond the five bucks I had in my pocket- and that was canadian cash. Right.

"I suggest we head into town then. Maybe I can figure out where we are. Does this look like japan to either of you?"

"I... sort of," Tsubame said after a moment. "It feels weird, but I recognize that hill," she said, gesturing. "I saw one like it before I came to Tokyo."

I glanced at Kyouko, but she just scowled.

"Right. Okay, let's go."

"Before I go any further, you're telling me everything," Kyouko ordered me- at spearpoint no less.

"Define 'everything'," I replied mildly. There's something to be said about the inanity of our situation when I can ignore a threat like that.

"Kyubey, Homura-chan, Witches- everything!" However, that spear was getting closer to my throat.

"Okay," I said lightly. "But you have to _promise_ me something. Your solemn word. What I tell you will make you angry. Very angry. So there is a condition."

"What condition?"

"Give me your soul gem. Just for now," I answered. It was a big gamble, but from what I knew of the previous timelines, while Kyouko got crazy angry, and might even commit suicide, she wasn't the type to take everyone else out. Not like Mami.

"My... you!"

"Kyouko-san, please," Tsubame said, stepping to our side and putting an arm on Kyouko's. "Don't worry."

"I... Damnit, fine," she said, handing it to me. I took it with the reverence and knowledge that I was holding her very soul. And then I sighed, and steeled myself.

"It's called a soul gem because it contains your soul. You," I gestured to the body in front of me. "Are a zombie meat puppet. The soul gem is actually the seat of your consciousness."

Yeah, I'm very glad that I'm holding on to this right now. Because Kyouko was not in a nice place.

Even Tsubame had paled, although not to the degree that Kyouko had.

I sighed.

"As far as I know, there are two routes for Puella Magi to take on their journey. That of Damnation, and that of Salvation and Redemption. When a Soul Gem expends enough power and accrues enough negative emotions, it... changes. It breaks open, and uses that energy to form a new being. What you know as a Witch."

Retching. As a geek I was amazed at the quality of the control the soul could exert over its meat puppet body. As a man, I was disgusted by the necessity to tell Kyouko, and what it was doing to her psyche.

"Y-you said Salvation, Kerrus-san?" Tsubame asked, still pale.

"Well you were saved, weren't you Tsubame?" I turned and asked. "I mean, I don't know how it happened, but it happened. Kyubey himself said that Puella Magi were the immature form of the being that eventually becomes a Witch- who can say that there's not another route. There clearly is."

"I.. I'm done. I'm fucking done, you hear me Gaijin? I'm going home," Kyouko growled with a curse. And then set off. Without her Soul Gem.

She got about thirty feet away before she collapsed in a heap.

Yeaaaaah, this is going to be a hard one.

* * *

><p>In a clearing not unlike the one we left, amidst the scorched trees and burnt turf, a small white figure hauled itself up.<p>

_Well this is a scenario I never could have envisioned._ it said, as its red eyes flickered. It took half a step, started to collapse, and then started to rise again, as though it were an RC at the edges of signal range. And in many ways it was.

_Hrmph, I dislike being so limited, but I suppose it will do_ the entity said to itself. _However..._

An exertion of will, the smallest bit of entropy-defying power, and the form changed, warped- expanding upwards and outwards, before condensing back down. In the place of what had once been a shell designed for the task at hand stood a new shell, for a new task. An unknown world on the edges of signal range, attenuating his signal almost into uselessness, the alien mind had chosen a form much less likely to be identified- that of a small white cat. However, two things it could not change, the red eyes that marked it for what it was, and the golden collar which bounded its form.

He allowed himself a brief, cat-like smile, showing teeth, before heading off after the three travelers.

_Time to exceed quota_

* * *

><p>I had, briefly, hoped we were in Academy City. But the windmills were the wrong design. We'd been in the city for a couple days now- Kyouko had turned out to have quite the fortune on her- no doubt ill gotten gains- and we'd put up in a small apartment on the edge of town.<p>

Yes, that's right. I'd identified our location based on windmills.

We were in Fuuto, the Windy City of Japan, and the setting of another fiction that until recently I'd thought was just that; Kamen Rider W.

To the uninformed, while Madoka's world is a crapsack one, the shared universe of Kamen Rider is actually pretty damn optimistic. Oh, sure, there are great threats, enemies that want to destroy or takeover the world, or even just cause a ruckus- but in the end the heroes come together, triumph, and kick the ever loving shit out of the badguy.

At least usually.

Yeah, that's something else that's weird. I can understand japanese. I couldn't before we got here, but now it's almost like that telepathic stuff that Kyuubey was doing- I can still *hear* japanese, but I know what it means. Similarly, while I am quite clearly aware of myself speaking english, everyone else seems to know what I'm talking about.

Either someone else is messing with me, or it's another side-effect of Tsubame's 'redemption'. And man, that's a topic. I still don't know what really happened there, but if I had to guess, I'd say that she was judged in some way, and redeemed by it. Where once a witch would be born, Tsubame had become something else.

As it was essentially my fault that they'd been dragged into this, I had decided to tell the girls just who I was and what was going on.

"You already know my name, but what you probably don't know is where I'm from. But I can tell you- it's normal. Just... normal. No magic, no contracts, no supernatural bullshit. We're about ten years behind your world in technology, and just puttering along as best we can."

"Of course, here's the weird part. Where I come from, there is what I'd previously considered fiction- stories, anime, novels. But then I showed up at Homura-san's house and my preconceptions about what was real and what wasn't went out the window."

A scowl from Kyouko, then an inquisitive look on her face.

"So on your world, we're fiction right?"

I nodded.

"Anime?"

I nodded again, slowly coming to a realization.

"Does that include all the... other things that go with anime?"

If looks could kill.

"I can't honestly say it does not," I replied after a moment. Kyouko tensed.

"Kyouko," she warned softly.

"But he's a pervert," she growled.

"No, he's a man. He's been perfectly chivalrous so far, why don't you give him the benefit of the doubt?"

"Tch. Fine, but I'm watching you. One wrong move and," Kyouko made a cutting gesture.

I had no doubt she would do it, either. Fortunately I was quite capable of keeping my hands to myself. Unlike a certain grabby redhead.

"Anyways, the show, such as it was hadn't finished airing- there was an Earthquake and Tsunami that just destroyed the coast of japan. A lot of people lost their lives. Although, I have benefitted from it."

I held up a hand to forestall another outburst.

"It let me identify the time differential between my world and yours. Tell me, why does every single numerical listing of the year in your world list it as '20XX'?"

"Ni Zero Ecks Ecks?" Tsubame said, pronouncing the english letters. "I don't remember ever seeing anything like that."

Kyouko, however, had pulled a sheet of paper out of... somewhere. Presumably wherever she and Homura stored their crap- hammerspace or subspace or whatever you call it.

"What's that?"

"Ni Zero Ecks Ecks," she replied, showing me the paper. It was entirely in japanese, I couldn't tell what it said, but at the top was a date line, August 1st, 20XX. "Gaijin, what the hell is going on with this?"

"My guess? Your world is in some sort of time loop. Not just Homura jumping, but something to do with Kaname Madoka-san," I replied. Then abruptly realized my slipup.

"Jumping? Time loop? Kerrus-san, whatever do you mean?" Tsubame asked. I couldn't tell if she was just innocently asking, or if there was another emotion at work there. I sighed, and resigned myself to it.

"Akemi Homura-san contracted Kyuubey to 'go back and save Kaname Madoka'. This gave her the power to manipulate time. The timeline that I fell into was the fifth timeline she'd been through- the four previous having ended with either everyone dead, or Madoka turning into a witch, sometimes both," I explained. Pausing to catch my breath, I continued. "However, something strange began to happen with the jumps- Madoka dreamed of the events during the last timeline. In what is your chronological future, she confronted Homura about her dream, and... The sky turned to static."

"Static? Like lightning? We get storms all the time in Tokyo, Gaijin."

"No, not lightning. Static like," I paused, grabbed the television remote, and flipped on the TV. And then set it to channel zero, a channel which does not exist. Gray static met my eyes, and an angry drone. "Static. Just like that."

"W-what do you think it means?" Tsubame asked, looking a bit scared. And hell, it was damn scary alright.

"I think it means that a witch capable of destroying the planet is probably capable of bending time. I think it means that Kaname Madoka's Witch is trying to reach heaven, or at least redemption. But to do that, it must forget what has gone on before- wipe the slate clean. I'm less worried about what will happen if Madoka becomes the Witch that Destroys the Earth- and more woried about what happens if Kaname Madoke remembers who- and possibly what- she is."

"You know this for certain, Gaijin?"

"Ha! Hell no. I won't know until I've seen the show finish, and that's assuming I ever get home. But I have suspicions based on what I've seen. That's all I can go on for now," I said.

I checked the clock. Ah, it was time for my job.

"Well, I think that's enough for now. Gotta get to work," I said, standing. "Are you two going to be okay?"

"It's just a lot to think about, Kerrus-san," Tsubame replied.

"Yeah, I know. Existential questions and whatnot. But no mistake here- you're as real as I am. Hell, you're the proof that this is real," I said as I grabbed my coat.

"What do you mean, Gaijin?" Kyouko asked, looking up.

"Tsubame wasn't in the anime. But there was a Witch named Charlotte, the Desserts Witch. I'm glad we didn't have to meet her."

"I- I'm glad too, Kerrus-san. Good luck at your job," Tsubame said, with a bit of a smile. "Kyouko, you should wish him luck too."

"Yeah, yeah, if you die Gaijin, I'll hunt you down and kill you again," she said, but I could hear the mirth in her tone.

"I'll make sure I don't die then," I said, heading out the door.

* * *

><p>"Kerrus-san, another one," Tsubame said suddenly, shaking me out of my funk. Work had gone as well as work can go for an illegal immigrant. I turned and paid the news show my full attention.<p>

"Earlier today police discovered another body that fits what some are calling the Faberg Murders. A young male in his early teens, the coroner reports that his body had undergone some sort of transformation prior to his death. On the scene, as with the previous murder, an unidentified Faberg Egg was discovered. Now to Sakurai Kodai, our consultant from the Kougami Foundation.

The camera panned across the room, showing a young man- early twenties- well dressed in a suit. He smiled at the camera, then turned back to the newscaster.

"Well Aiko, we've managed to discern that whatever is causing these events operates similar to the 'Gaia Memory' devices that appeared on the black market two years ago. Our analysis of the bodies has indicated that transformation these individuals underwent occured after death. What caused it, the Foundation is still uncertain," he explained. "However, your viewers can rest assured we are comitting our resources to assist the police in bringing the criminals behind these murders in."

I turned the TV off.

"He's here. He came with us somehow," I said flatly. Tsubame shivered, looked down.

"I... I think that whatever process he used to withdraw our souls and insert them into the soul gem doesn't work here. I've been feeling something strange actually. A sort of downward tug," she said. "It's not strong, and... it feels warm."

A smile- man was she cute when she smiled.

"I don't think it's a bad thing, Kerrus-san."

"Anything that interferes with what he's doing is a good thing in my book. But obviously he's not completely out of the business. So what is he doing?"

"I think I have an answer to that, Gaijin," Kyouko said from the doorway. I hadn't heard her come in. "I was doing some digging, and it turns out that there's a detective agency near here that specializes in weird cases. We can hire them- let _them_ figure it out for us."

Her smile was fierce, but like the rest of us she'd gradually been adjusting to this new life. No witches to fight- at least not so far- and an otherwise mundane city. Definitely strange provindence for a Puella Magi.

There is only one detective agency in Fuuto. I sighed.

"What." Kyouko said flatly, scowling at me. "I know that face."

"I told you about that folk hero, right?"

"Yeah, Kamen Rider. Sounds like a fun guy."

"This detective agency? Yeah. Of course, we should still go- it's a good idea. But it means we might blow our cover," I said.

"Ano, would that be bad? Didn't you say that this Double was a 'Brave Hero'?"

"In a perfect world, yes. But the stories back home never covered this far. They're focused on a different hero, in a different city. From here on out, we're flying into uncharted territory."

"Good. All that future speculation bullshit you were doing was driving me crazy. I don't need to know the future- I just need to kick the fuck out of Kyuubey for what he's done. I don't care what's coming, as long as I get that then..." another smile. "Then we're good."

Revenge is a powerful motivator. But I trusted Kyouko- even though I'd only known her for a few days. She was... reliable, if a little rough around the edges.

Standing, I grabbed my jacket and headed out into the hallway. Kyouko and Tsubame followed, and I had to duck around the corner before the landlady could deliver another 'no harems under my roof' speech.

Then, we were off.

* * *

><p>The world of Kamen Rider is a world much like our own. Oh, sure, there's the occasional corporation with secret goals and one form of overtechnology or another, but otherwise advancement seems to parallel the real world rather closely.<p>

The people are quite similar too, with goals, dreams, and hopes just like those back home. Oh, sure, some of those goals might be to join the local supervillain and take over the world, but we've got people like that back home too.

We call them crazy.

The real difference comes from, well, the so named Kamen Rider. Yeah, yeah, it translates as 'masked rider'- but the term has always been a mishmash of english and japanese, and it seems a shame not to preserve it.

Kamen Riders are masked heroes, when you get down to it. Most are those who gained their power through the actions of the villains of a given series. The first was a super cyborg who, through fate or providence, managed to avoid having his memories wiped. He escaped and fought a war against the villainous Shocker organization. From that start came the premise for the following heroes. Most of the early riders were some form of super cyborg or another, but not all arose through the machinations of a given series' villains.

But mostly that was the hallmark of the Showa Era series. Double, and shows like it, are in the current Hesei era. Some things have changed, others haven't, but Kamen Rider is still an ally of justice. He still fights the monsters, solves crime, and saves people. At the end of the day, he wins the fight.

And then... we get a new series, with new heroes, new villains, and new overtechnology. Oh, there's always a crossover of some sort, a changing of the guard, but for the most part each series exists in its own, separate, continuity.

Kamen Rider Double is one such series. Taking place in the Windy City of Fuuto, it follows the lives of Shotaro, aspiring hard boiled detective, and his partner Phillip, a young man with a tragic past, and a connection to the primordial lifestream of the world. Together, they become Kamen Rider W.

Yes, I'm aware of how gay that sounds. Believe me, am I aware of how gay that sounds. But it's not.

In any case, the weird thing here is that this Fuuto is after the end of W- in fact, I'm pretty sure it's after the end of OOOz, the successor series. We're in uncharted waters, and I was wary of tracking down the protagonists. I mean, they've had two years of relative peace and quiet. They've probably settled down. And I'm fairly sure that they probably can't help us get home. Overtechnology that does so may exist, and I'll keep an eye out for the Hikari Studio- but otherwise there really isn't much to be done.

Does that sound like I'm giving up?

I'm not. But this isn't some play game, where I've got a comedic method of universe hopping. Whatever causes our jumps, I sure as hell don't know what it is, or how to control it.

I don't know how Kyuubey made it through with us. Surely he thought to kill us when he cast us out of the labyrinth? I mean, if there's one way to prevent your enemy from interfering in your plans, it's to get rid of them.

Ultimately, it looks like whatever idyllic hiatus the heroes of this world have had, I'm going to break it. We talked, the girls and I, and we're going to come clean. I don't like it, but I recognize its necessity. And who knows- they might have resources I'm not privy too. Hell, maybe they even know how to reach Kadoya Tsukasa, also known as Kamen Rider Decade. He's a hero who travels from world to world, searching for his own. If anyone's familiar with that process, it's him.

If not, well, we'll continue down the road we're on, taking us where it may.

* * *

><p>What do you desire?<p>

Hate. Anger. Pain. Loneliness.

Yakumo Shitatchi clutched the ragged blanket closer, even as the wind tore through his ramshackle hut. Damn that wind. Damn the city. Damn that... Kamen Rider. He'd lost everything to that goddamn 'hero'.

What do you desire?

Yakumo's eyes snapped open, his hand reaching out for the thing he kept at his side at all times. It was a small oblong, ribbed as though wrapped in bone. As he touched its familiar surface, a distored voice rang out.

A-AMB...AMBER!

But the warmth that accompanied the device's declaration fell away as soon as it had arived. Cracked but not broken, the Gaia Memory was functional in theory- but in practice, it could not maintain its power output for longer than a few seconds.

What do you desire?

"Goddamnit, who the fuck are you?"

Red eyes against the darkness.

What do you desire?

"You want to know what I fucking desire? I want this fixed. I don't want to be fucking cold and lost and forgotten. I want to DESTROY that goddamn Kamen Rider!"

Then make a contract with me. Your desires exceed the entropy. I can make any wish come true.

Yakumo sat up, eyes narrow. But he was alone.

* * *

><p>The detective agency was... man, I still can't believe a place like that really existed. It was almost just the same as the one I knew, replete with the hat rack, the antique typewriter in the corner, the desk and couch, and the well dressed detective lying asleep with his hat over his face.<p>

The ringing of the entry bell had summoned their secretary however, a young woman named Akiko with a fondness for shoes. And hitting people with them. Although I really hoped she'd mellowed out given two years to mature- and looking at the dress she wore, perhaps she had.

Akiko was the daughter of the former owner of the detective agency- now deceased, and while she had been an annoying tag-along in the TV show, here she was a well dressed, outgoing woman.

With a pout on her face- was she expecting someone else?

"Shotaro," she said, nudging the sleeping detective.

"Hn."

"Shotaro, we have a client."

"Hn."

Her hand reached to a shelf astride the desk, and a very familiar green shoe.

"Shotaro!"

"Hn."

*Whack*

"What the- Akiko!" he shoulded, sitting up abruptly. The girl just smiled, and gestured. Tsubame was attempting not to laugh, while Kyouko just scowled.

"We," I started, glancing at the girls. Tsubame smiled in encouragement, while Kyouko met my gaze, and then nodded. "We have a case for you. One that requires your particular talents."

"Oi, Phillip, get out here!" Shotaro shouted, turning his head to the back wall with the hat rack. A 'hidden' palen opened, and a young man wearing a green jacket with a long sleeve striped shirt stepped out. His hair was longer than Shotaro's, and pinned back. Eyes that were curious, yet innocent, and a smile on his face.

And...

Pink apron. Check.

Signs of cooking. Check.

Icing on cheek. Check.

Kill me now.

It's not gay, it's not gay, it's not fucking gay, I repeated to myself under my breath. There is no way that this is what it looks like. This is the result of an accident. Probably Phillip- a total amnesiac, who was missing the first fifteen years of his life- he'd probably discovered something he hadn't known. And while the man had the greatest collection of knowledge the world has ever known in his head, he was always the sort that learned by doing. In this case...

I craned my head and thought I saw a tray of cupcakes.

uhuh.

"Client-san, you said you had work?"

"Oh, ignore the gaijin. He spaces out every now and then. So you're Shotaro? You don't look like much. I don't know why he was getting so worked up over it," Kyouko started, even as I stared off into space, brain desperately trying to reboot.

"Oi, and you are?"

"Sakura Kyouko. Regardless, we have a problem. You've heard of the Fabrege Egg Murders?"

I looked up from where I'd been staring off into space. Cupcakes and fanon-canon suspicions forgotten, I focused on the two detectives, and their secretary. When Kyouko had mentioned the murders, something had passed over Shotaro's face- recognition, supsicion? Something. It was quick, but there.

"We need you to find the one behind it. And kill him."

Face, meet wall. I turned, and planted my face into the black and white wallpapered wall.

"What?" Kyouko asked, after a moment. No tact, this one.

"Alright, before you take us as crazy, perhaps we should lay our cards on the table. I'll tell you what we know, and you can decide weather or not you want to take the case," I said, stepping forward. I glanced at Phillip, then Shotaro. "Although given the news reports, I suppose it's possible you're already involved... Kamen Rider Double."

Now, just to explain, Kamen Riders might be masked heroes, but they aren't the sort whose indentities are necessarily secret. They transform in public- although usually most people have run away from the scene of the crime. These particular Kamen Riders use their overtech to help their clients, and are generally not really secretive about it.

Naturally, this means that while the specific identities of a given set of Kamen Riders may not be known to the general public, it isn't terribly surprising for one to find someone who does know.

No, the part that had them on edge was that I'd met both their eyes- Shotaro and Phillip's, when I made that statement. Not many people were aware of how Double functioned.

"To start with, the three of us are not from here. We're experiencing a situation similar to that of Tsukasa Kadoya," I explained. Shotaro said nothing, but Phillip raised an eyebrow. Akiko... well she saw the serious look on Shotaro's face, and then promptly buried her nose in what looked to be some sort of bridal magazine. Huh. "To say it simply, we're from another dimension. That allows me certain insights, I might not otherwise have."

"You're from another world and you want us to help you kill the person behind the fabrege egg murders? I've heard weirder, but that's no proof," Shotaro said. "And we're not killers for hire."

"You seem to be doing a pretty good job of it," Kyouko snorted. "Conspiracy in the Windy City places you at the scene of the latest crime."

Conspiracy in the Windy City is a tabloid. Where the hell did she get that?

"Kyouko? Don't read tabloids. They lie about everything," I snapped. "Regardless, she may have a point. If you're still active in this city, then chances are you're involved."

"And if-"

"Shotaro," Phillip interjected, putting a hand on his partner's shoulder. "I think we should ask this. Who is behind the murders?"

I smiled. Always the right questions.

"Its name is Kyuubey. Small white creature about yay high?" I gestured, glancing at Tsubame. She nodded back. "Yay high. Telepathic, invisible to people he doesn't want to be seen by- although that may be part of his telepathy. Actually a sort of... meat pupppet... to an intelligence based somewhere else. Back home he had a limitless supply of bodies. "

"Back home?"

"Well, their home, I should say," gesturing. "My home hasn't even got that. Joe Normal you can call me."

"Well Joe-san-"

I held up a finger.

"That was sarcasm. You can call me Kerrus."

"Kerrus-san, you're saying that a... creature... is causing these deaths?" Phillip asked, eyes intent.

"Kyuubey purportedly seeks to reverse the entropic decay of the universe- I say purportedly, because he doesn't seem to have a mind towards colateral damage, and whoever his people are, they aren't doing a good job at it. Regardless, to do so he targets emotional unstable individuals, and has them make a contract with him."

"And he lies," Kyouko spat.

"T-that's not exactly true," Tsubame said. "He just never tells the whole truth. He tells the truth as it benefits him"

Attagirl. I nodded.

"When they make a contract, he rips out their soul and stuffs it into a gem- like construct, the aformentioned Faberge Egg. From then on, the seat of their consciousness is located within that egg. The wisher gets their wish, but they also become magically empowered by the decay of their soul. As negative emotions pile on, the soul eventually breaks, and the result is a supernatural being known as a Witch. A Witch warps reality, creating a labyrinth and entrapping innocents in it, consuming their souls to... generally to satisfy whatever their last wish was. Eventually, someone who is not yet a witch infiltrates the Labyrinth, and kills them. Then they use the blackened remnant of the Witch's soul to drain off the negative energy that their own gem is gathering. This forestalls their own transformation into a Witch. Kyuubey then eats the blackened gem."

I took several deep breaths.

"I can only assume that by whatever higher physics allows this process to operate back there... doesn't work out so well back here."

Shotaro sighed, then leaned back in his chair.

"This is going to be a difficult one," he said, placing his hat on his face. "Akiko, call Terui. Phillip?"

"The keyword... is CONTRACT," Phillip replied, closing his eyes and holding a blank papered book open in front of him. Green energy, the primordial knowledge of the Earth drew up around him. It was power- but it was power in knowledge, Phillip's birthright as the last surviving member of the Family that was Close to the Earth.

After a few moments, his brow creased.

"Yes, I know," he said. "But I still need to know."

The energy wrapped around him, shining in its vibrancy.

"Yes. Nee-san! Okay," a small smile. "Restricted?"

My eyes widened.

"New Keyword. OUTSIDER."

And then he gasped. The vibrant energy winked out, and the book in his hands snapped closed.

"We may have a larger problem Shotaro," Phillip said, turning. "Whatever physics by which these Witches operate is... leaking over. We have to stop this Kyuubey before he succeeds in creating a true Witch."

Oh. Fuck.

* * *

><p>It was all very simple once Phillip laid it down to us. However we'd jumped, it had left behind a hole. Not a big one, but enough that the unique physics that let Madoka's world operate were, for lack of a better term, leaking through. While at the moment, the leak wasn't strong enough to create any real permanent effectual difference, that would change if Kyubey created a 'true' witch to use as an Anchor. Unforunately, the information on Kyubey, his motives, and more importantly, his location, was restricted. Or rather, it was present but not available. Wakana-san, Phillip's elder sister (dead elder sister I might add), had explained to him that while all knowledge the world knows or has known exists within the library, if something exists that is not associated with the Earth, it can conceal its knowledge from the Library.<p>

Regardless of secret knowledge or no secret knowledge, there was a case to solve. And that began with...

"You," said a young man with red tinted hair- that was my first clue. The second was the red leather jacket and pants he wore. Oh yes, this was Terui- also known as Kamen Rider Accel. "Are you for real?"

This was the fifth or so time I had been asked something like that. At this point I was really approaching where my response would be "Kyouko, take him." or something ridiculous like that, and then watch the ensuing beatdonw. But instead I sighed, and nodded.

"Yes Terui-san," I replied. "I am 'for real' as you put it."

We were in the back of Double's hideout, going over police reports and trying to establish the pattern Kyubey was following, if any. Shotaro was out on his not at all conspicious very obviously overtechnology motorcycle, and Phillip was indexing the Gaia Library again. That just left Terui and myself.

Oh, and I suppose Tsubame, but she and Akiko were upstairs. Doing girl stuff, I supposed. Kyouko had begged off after about half an hour of boring work, telling me that she'd be in touch if she found anything. Like I could stop here.

So here I was, with a special police operative with ridiculous fashion sense, a heavy dose of skepticism, and anger management issues.

Well, at least he wasn't cakeboss.

Actually...

"Phillip, can you use the Gaia Library to get information from the Kougami Foundation's private servers?"

No response for about a minute, and then the tone of the energy wrapping around Phillip changed.

"New Keyword: Cake."

"Ahahah."

I'm sory, but I had to laugh. But Cakeboss- the Kougami who owned the Kougami Foundation, was _obsessed_ with cake. Making cakes. Giving people cakes. Watching people eat cakes. And yelling SUBARSHI the moment anyone pays him any attention.

Oh, and he has fabulous dress sense. But that wasn't really what I cared about. What I cared about was that they had been investigating these murders. And they had a lot more resources than we did.

"So how do you know... what you know?" Terui asked, eyes wary. He hadn't really accepted my story yet. Probably still distrustful given all the shit he'd been through.

"In my universe, there are tales of Kamen Rider Accel. And I imagine that they are remarkably accurate tales," I replied. I was never going to go with the 'you're a fictional universe' approach- because obviously he wasn't. I mean, yes, back home, Terui, and everyone else in this room aside myself were fictional characters, but saying it... what would I gain?

"Tales? Stories you mean?"

"Of a kind," I said. Of course, staring down Terui was much like staring down my father. He was intent on the truth, and little inclined to take the vauge answers I was giving him. So, just as though he were my father, I had to divert him. "So... you and Akiko, huh? I must confess, I never saw that coming."

Diversion... successful.

Just for a bit of background, Terui's family was murdered by a man using the 'Weather' Gaia Memory, which enabled him control over the elements, and a fantastical amount of raw power. While he had eventually overcome this foe, the scars of that conflict were ever present.

So while I never would have suspected Akiko (annoying loudmouth that she is) as a possible love interest, the idea that he would be interested in forming a new family was not so difficult to accept.

Oh, and of course there's the matter that Terui is weird with his emotions. Positive ones anyways. For so long he was an avenger that I think it... damaged him. Whenever he felt positive emotions, usually associated with girls on the show, he got a little crazy.

He was looking a little crazy now- a smile on his face and intent eyes.

"Oh yes," he said, and did not elaborate. I... I turned back to the police reports.

You would not believe how much 'supernatural' mundane bullshit the Fuuto Metro Special Police had to go through on a day to day basis. Oh, sure, Terui's unit was run exclusively to deal with the weird shit that nobody else could handle, but that also meant that a lot of mundane weird cases- crazies usually- went to them. Pages and pages in, I did however discover something of interest.

"Lemme see the file on that first victim," I said- and was surprised when Terui handed it over without a comment. He still had a weird look on his face. I dunno, apparently he'd gotten _married_ to Akiko rather recently, so... post marital bliss? Eh.

Going down the profile, I frowned.

"What was the Babel Memory? I don't recall that," I asked.

Terui met my glance, then looked at the sheet I was reading.

"Oh, that. Do you know about how we've had to deal with bootleg T3 memories showing up over the past year and a half?" he asked.

No. No I did not.

"T3's? There was a further refinement over the T2's?" I asked.

"The Kougami Foundation had requested them. While they had officially discontinued their investigation into using gaia memory related technology, unofficially," he shrugged. "And the Museum as an organization was still running. That was before Phillip stepped in and put a stop to it."

"So T3's... and bootleg copies? How does that even-"

"Ultimately, Gaia Memories are really just heavily modified USB drives," Terui said. He turned, and headed to the end of the table, leafing through a stack of papers- then pulled one out. "Here. We busted a group using bootleg memories- three of them. They were copying the data onto low grade drives and selling them. Good for a single use, but... the transformation lacked any of the usual safeties of the real thing. The users all went mad."

The report I'd read had the first victim of Kyubey down as having been brought in on a minor drug possession charge the same day that the FMSP rounded up the gang members who had been using the bootlegs.

"Did you ever find the original memory?"

Terui met my gaze, eyes widening.

"Yes. It was recovered by an informant just yesterday."

"Do you think there might be a connection? Maybe Kyubey's targetting former gaia memory users," I offered, considering the possibility.

Former memory users would certainly be in the right emotional zone for him to work with- and they'd already accepted a contract once before. Ideal prey. Moreover, there was no telling what the interaction of a Memory user and the Contract was- perhaps he was experimenting? I don't know.

All thoughts were drowned out by the sounds of an alarm. It was the stag phone- one of W's pieces of overtechnology. A semi-intelligent robotic beetle, that also doubled as a phone (and much like most of the overtechnology here, could inexplicably fly)

As the alarm rang, Terui glanced at Phillip- and Phillip...

"Someone's broken into the Museum!" he said, sounding frantic. Okay? Someone has...

"Tell me you cleaned that place out!" I growled. "You did, didn't you?"

"Shotaro, they're at the Museum!" Phillip was already on the phone, ignoring me.

"What?" Terui demanded, curious and confused. Ugh, there's few I'd rather have at my back in a fight, but Terui was never the keenest blade.

"All of this," I said, gesturing to W's tank, the phone, and a few broken T1 memories sitting on Phillip's workbench. "All of this came from the Museum. And these two bozos have just let it sit for the last two years? All that technology? Who knows what surviving memories? Fuck, the goddamn filtering belts? I assumed when you said that Phillip shut the Museum down, he actually dealt with that stuff, but I guess _not!_"

I was livid. A small part of me was making excuses- understanding- but the rest of me was furious.

"Let's get to Museum, before anything else goes wrong!" I growled, throwing down the papers in my hand and storming out front. Then I heard a sound and... Phillip had ditched us, riding out the back exit on Double's tank/support vehicle.

"Kerrus-san!" Tsubame had come down the stairs and was glancing at my furiously intent gaze.

"He's at the library," I said shortly. "If you see Kyouko, tell her."

"Kerrus!" Terui yelled, and I grabbed my coat and the spare motorcycle helmet, and headed out the door. Terui's motorcycle was one fine machine, and as I stepped onto it behind him, I heard the reving of its engine. Oh this was not going to be fun.

It was going to be awesome. And terrifying.

A squeel of tires, and the smell of burning rubber, and we were off. And oh christ were we off.

* * *

><p>Maybe I'd still have time to wonder just <em>why<em> I wanted to be near the action. I mean, sure, seeing it live has a certain appeal. But the potential death and destruction? Where was my sense of self-preservation? Knock knock, anyone home?

I think the truth was that I wanted to see how it ended. And I wanted to... if such a possibility existed, somehow be a part of it. The story. I wanted to do something. And I'd always possessed the intensive focus that was driving me now. I just usually subdued it under mountains and mountains of experience.

And...

I didn't want Tsubame to have to face him. If I stayed with her and got her drawn in, I'd never forgive myself. Kyouko? Ha, that girl's probably already neck deep in things. I still worry about her, but she can handle herself.

But I don't know about Tsubame. Her recent transformation aside, she's just a girl. A cute girl. And I'd spare her if I could.

So we rode.

Yakumo stood amidst the ruined foyer of the Museum. In his hand he held a spear, a great orange and gold plated thing with a burning white-red jewel at its base. In his other, the complete AMBER T3 Gaia Memory, restored by his wish.

And yet, he burned. He felt the power, the power granted to him by his wish- he felt it seeking to escape. To explode outwards. It was strange, the contract. And stranger still the power he felt. What was its purpose?

Then he remembered. To smash the Kamen Rider. To lay waste to this place. To not be forgotten.

The sound of a motorcycle, and a black and green bike with two riders roared through one of the glass windows, in a scene that would have made any movie director proud. Flipping over, it braked and halted, and the two riders stepped off. Yakumo recognized them both.

"You. This power of mine, I will destroy..."

"Oh? Then let us count your sins," the two riders said in unison. Phillip held a T2 Gaia Memory in one hand, and pressed the activation switch.

CYCLONE

Shotaro responded by pressing his own.

JOKER

In unison, they faced Yakumo down and said...

"Henshin!" Transformation.

Then both slotted the memory into the belts they wore- the Double Driver, the device that enabled Kamen Rider Double to arise.

And, as always, Phillip's body slumped against a wall, the Cylcone memory vanishing from his copy of the Driver and appearing in Shotaro's copy. He pressed it down, then pressed down the Joker memory.

And then, from a sphere of impossibility, the armour of Kamen Rider W formed, alloying itself onto his body. The Two in One Kamen Rider, W.

"Time to get right into it, I think," said Shotaro, punching Yakumo in the face. The punch had force to it, and the derranged spear wielder flew into a wall.

"But Shotaro, please try to keep the colateral damage down." Phillip's voice sounded.

"Of course! Who do you think I am?"

His next kick sent Yakumo through a wall.

The Museum looked like it had when I had last scene it. Relics from Humanity's- and the Earth's past. Relics that had provided the genesis for the Gaia Memories. Magma, Triceratops, Weather- the list went on. There were other things too. Ancient artifacts of ancient civilizations. Some I recognized, while others-

Was that a bass relief of the Den-liner?

I paused, gobsmacked, even as Terui rushed off towards the sound of fighting. I'd known that W's world had been written as the new continuity centerpoint, compared to the separate worlds of the past series, but... that was still a bass relief of the Den-Liner (a time traveling train, for those not in the know). It was... odd.

But no, I had other things to do. I turned, and headed towards the sounds of fighting.

And what a fight it was.

LUNA | TRIGGER

Double slotted in two different memories, flashing from green and black to yellow and blue. In the transformation, he gained a gun, which he used to fire aimed energy blasts at his opponent. Yakumo spun his spear, deflecting the blasts- but several arced back around and slammed into his back.

"That is... not enough to stop me!" he growled, and seemed to pulse with an inner fire. It roared out, his inner fire, and suddenly he held two spears. He planted one in the ground, sinking into solid marble like a knife in warm butter. The other he threw. Double ducked and rolled, and came up firing- but Yakumo had taken the time to summon additional spears. They hung in the air before him, providing a sort of shield. And then...

HEAT | METAL

Double shifted into his melee form, combining the power of fire with a bladed staff. He charged Yakumo, ducking under the spear user's first swing, and slamming his staff into the man's side. Yakumo took the hit and went flying, slamming into a thankfully reinforced wall. He crumpled, but his eyes remained intent.

"You're going to pay!" he growled, using his spear to prop himself up. "Just you watch. I'm more than anything you've fought before."

Then he smiled- and for a given rating of smiles, this was very far into the category of smiles that one never wants to see.

He withdrew a Gaia Memory- the T3 AMBER member. It was a memory that Double had never fought directly, having only dealt with cheap knockoffs and clones.

"Hey, hey wait a second," sounded Shotaro's voice, as Double stepped towards Yamumo. But the man laughed. He initialized the T3 Memory with an ominous synthetic chant of AMBER, then slammed it into a memory port that had appeared.

But the memory port was not located on his body, no, it was atop the gem that adorned his Spear- the one spear that was different than the others, for it posessed a strange white-red jewel that burned with a terrible light. Within moments, the memory was absorbed into the soul gem. Yakumo's face split with a terrible grin- and then his eyes went flat, and he slumped against the spear.

"Shotaro, we need to get back," Phillip's voice sounded, a touch of fear.

Meanwhile, Yakumo's body began to stand, but it was not the fluid movement of a living being- this was a jerky movement, the movement of a body controlled by an animating intelligence unfamiliar with its use.

Red eyes in the dark.

What had been Yakumo Shitatchi screamed. And with that scream came an outpouring of amber light, wrapping around the walking corpse. From that light coalesced structure and form, transforming the spear wielder into a dopant- but a dopant like none that Double had seen before. Whereas dopants were always monstrous in one way or another, or took the appearance of armoured warriors- this... this dopant looked human. Clad in regal amber armour that glowed transluscently, it possessed a human face, and human seeming skin. It's eyes snapped open, and they glowed amber too.

"I live!" it growled, with a strange sort of dual voice. It sounded like Yakumo- but it also sounded like another. A strange, quiet, unfriendly voice.

Red eyes in the dark.

The Amber Dopant held out an arm, and a great spear materialized in its hand, reminiscent of the one it had lost in the transformation, but solid and dark with power.

"I am all your sins counted. Kamen Rider."

W had all of a moment to prepare before a slash of the spear sent him flying back, slamming him through two feet of reinforced concrete.

The Amber dopant roared, and fired a blast of amber coloured liquid. W rolled to the side, narrowly dodging the liquid, which when it struck solidifed into umbreakably hard bonds.

"This is... too much," Shotaro said, panting and pulling W to his feet.

"But you notice that it's still amber. I think we have a way of dealing with that," Phillip replied. Mentally, Shotaro nodded, drawing the Trigger Memory, and slotting it into the Double Driver.

HEAT | TRIGGER

Double changed once again, gaining a gun where he once held a staff. He fired several bolts of blazing energy at the Amber dopant, who spun its staff once again to deflect them. But the heat was blazing, and some of the dopant's armour- and skin- ran like liquid amber. It hissed, and then pulsed with a terrible light, and the running liquid solidified.

However, the break in its attack had given W the time to prepare.

MAXIMUM DRIVE the Double Driver declared, focusing all the Trigger Memory's energy into a single, potent blast- a blast gathering at the tip of W's weapon.

"TRIGGER EXPLOSION!" W's two voices yelled, and the blast of flame lanced out and took the Amber dopant full in the chest. It... it screamed, and pulsed with a terrible light, but its skin and armour ran like water, and then it fell to the ground, amber cooling and solidfying. It didn't look like a person, now- it looked like a man shaped puddle. And within that puddle, a strange shimmering object. A bejeweled egg, shining with a terrible intensity.

Red eyes in the dark. A blur of motion. A white creature standing over the Dopant's corpse.

A scream.

"Who the hell?" Shotaro asked, glancing around for a source.

"It's not over yet, Shotaro," Phillip replied, gesturing with W's arm to the fallen dopant. That amber light was spreading out. Amber fire burning the fallen dopant. Then light of an even greater intensity- and Double turned away from it.

The sound of footsteps on the marble, and Double turned back.

"I will not allow you to interfere with my plans," a voice said. Before Double stood the Amber Dopant- human looking and clad in amber armour, and wielding that terrible spear. But its eyes were red, now, and around each arm was a glowing golden ring. On its face was a smile, but the smile did not reach its eyes. "This form will do nicely, I think."

It glanced down, at what looked like a pile of white fluff, and then gestured with a hand. Amber fire reached out and consumed the pile, burning it away until it was just dust and echoes.

"The phsyical laws here are too different. I needed to adapt. Although... I don't know why I'm telling you this- you're just going to die anyways."

And then it set itself against Double, with a furious intensity, and skill that outmatched its previous movement.

"Wha-" Shotaro began, but Phillip silenced him.

"You're the outsider," Phillip accused, as Double ducked and rolled under what would have been a lethal spear strike. "You're Kyuubey."

"Oh, what has that interloper been telling you? I simply must find out," Kyubey replied, its face a mask. "But first I have work to do."

Kyubey fought with experience- but it was strange experience. His motions blended together as though one had possessed the training in a great many fighting styles, and then pick and chosen specific segments to use. It was a strange sort of motion, but one that Shotaro's trained eye picked up. If Kyubey ate the souls, the seat of consciousness of his victims, did he gain their memories too?

"Hen... SHIN!" yelled a new voice.

ACCEL! sounded the Accel memory, as Terui transformed into the Kamen Rider with that namesake. Accel was a Kamen Rider who was, more than any other, motorcycle themed. Point of fact, he could turn _into_ a motorcycle. He was speed and strength based- lacking the versatility of Double, but making it up with sheer power.

Terui closed the distance between his previous position and Kyubey in just under a second, swinging Accel's sword at the transformed Dopant. The blade was made of advanced materials- overtechnology that nevertheless didn't reduce its weight. Though it appeared light, it required the enhanced strength of a Kamen Rider to wield it. Accel wielded it well, with the trained experience of three years of combat experience.

ENGINE sounded the blade as Accel slotted in one of his gadget memories. While the memory didn't contain enough power to work like a full Gaia Memory, it was useful to increase the power of the blade by a signifcant amount. Accel used the extra motion, the burning heat generated by the Engine Memory to push the assault on Kyubey.

"Shotaro, we're going to need to finish this quickly!" Terui growled, pushing Kyubey back for just a moment.

"That's... just what I was thinking!"

A familiar call sounded in the Museum, and the Extreme Memory- a bird shaped device flew into the room, then down onto the Double Driver. It split, both the Driver and the Memory, and Double Transformed once again.

XTREME!

Kamen Rider W Xtreme was the ultimate fusion of Shotaro, Phillip, and the power of the Gaia Memories. It created a superior being, one with the power to fight those far and away beyond normal human limits.

PRISM

Double drew the Beaker blade from the shield that had materialized with his transformation, and slotted the PRISM memory into it. Prism allowed it to focus and utilize the power of the memories that Double possessed in unison. Uncontrolled combinations had once nearly killed Shotaro, so such a feature was necessary for Double's ultimate form.

Then, wasting no time, Double re-entered the fight, striking the transformed Dopant from behind. His blade slid through amber, slicing off bits and pieces, but only doing superficial damage. Kyubey retaliated by letting go of his spear and holding out both hands- in one he held an archaic looking firearm- a musket like those that Mami used, but with a different colouring- a blue tinged metal. In the other a dark red scythe.

The musket fired, striking Xtreme's shield and forcing him back, and then Kyubey threw the rifle at Accel. Terui saw the incoming throw as what it was, a distraction, and cut through it with his blade without slowing down. His followup strike met red steel as Kyubey blocked with the scythe. His other arm summoned up more rifles, hanging in the air before him.

Red eyes.

He fired, and the resultant shots forced Accel to disnengage. Whatever these weapons were- they weren't normal. Riders were practically immune to the usual array of mundane weapons- as were their enemies.

I watched the fight from one of he upper balconies. It was as safe as I could get, and still see things- well, barring the security office, but I had no idea how to get in there.

Of course, in a fight against a rampaging dopant combined with an eldritch horror that wants to end you, is anywhere truly safe?

Obviously not. With a smirk and a motion, Kyubey fired a new rifle, this one a dark umber. A spray of bullets offset by the combined impact of the Beaker Blade and Accel's own sword. I dropped down behind a wall; but not soon enough.

Pain hurts. I've never been shot before, but this pain was what I imagined it to be like. The worst thing is that Kyubey's shots missed- wound on my arm was from their passing alone. Hurt as bad as a time I skinned my elbow to the bone, or something thereabouts.

I refrained from cursing- no need to give that bastard a second shot. Instead, hissing against the pain I tried to pull myself to my feet and get out of the line of fire.

Kerrus, did anyone ever tell you that you're a stupid bastard?

Yes. Many times. Goddamn, but did I listen?

A shadow flitted across my face, and almost instinctively, I turned and glanced upwards.

Sakura Kyouko slammed through the skylight fully transformed and weilding the largest spear I'd yet seen today. Kyuubey whirled, reacting to to her appearance, and just barely dodging as a strike from her spear took out the wall behind him. Translucent skin cracking and bleeding.

"Did you think I'd just run away? I told you before that I'd fight you," Kyouko growled, hefting her spear. Not one for words, she stepped forward and began a ridiculous flurry of strikes, faster than I could track. Her attacks were putting Kyubey on the defensive, but it wouldn't be enough. If the Amber Memory worked anything like the memories in the past had, then it could probably-

"Kyouko, dodge!" I yelled, my pain (and evidently my sanity) forgotten. But it was enough, she heeded my warning and jumped back, pushing off her spear. That motion put enough distance between her and the rapidly solidifying blast of Amber that Kyubey had thrown. He turned, red eyes on black, and that unchanging smile. He was looking right at me. He was-

Everything went white.

If you thought getting shot with a gun hurts, getting hit with some sort of concussive energy blast is a hundred times worse. I ached. Everywhere. From my head to my toes- _everything_ hurt. The blast had also- I glanced through eyes that didn't want to see- yep, the blast had also thrown me through a display case. Glass was everywhere, and I couldn't discern if I'd been cut or not through the rest of the pain.

In the silence, I heard them fighting.

"I will leave all these bonds behind! TRIAL!" Terui yelled. His yell was echoed by the activation of a memory I knew well.

TRIAL

The Trial Memory was what gave Accel access to his final form. Changing from a Red Power type to a Blue Speed Type, Accel vastly increased his movement capabilities without a significant hit to his power. But more than that, Trial's finisher held the ability to accelerate the Kamen Rider even beyond that- for 9.7 seconds. Accelerating beyond the eye's ability to track, Accel could, and would strike a hundred times, a thousand times. If one hit didn't work, he'd use ten. If ten didn't work, he'd use a hundred.

Metal on Metal, and the sound of Riders fighting.

I was no stranger to pain- but it usually didn't involve this level of pain. Nevertheless, I did the one thing I really didn't feel like doing in this situation. I sat up. I kneeled. I pulled myself to my feet.

How long did it take? I can't even begin to tell. But I stood. I stood and looked around, putting every iota of mental discipline, a lifetime honed towards shielding myself from the destructive torrent of anger that waited inside me to burst out, and I flung open those gates. I stood, running on pure fury.

But as anyone can tell you, fury isn't enough. It didn't make the pain go away, and it certainly didn't make the bleeding stop. My legs buckeled, and I fell against part of a wall that was still standing. There was strength in rage, but I'm not an action hero. I was, ultimately, mortal. More mortal than anyone else in this goddamn place.

A din of battle. The sounds of combat. I closed my eyes, trying to recover. I could hear Kyouko's growls, Terui's shouts, and Shotaro and Phillip's combined yells. They were fighting- and I was begining to realize, they were losing.

I heard, rather than saw, Kyubey grab Accel out of his Maximum Drive. Moving faster than any eye could see, the slam of amber flesh on metal composite, and then a growl and a yell- and the sound of a body flying through a window. Then Kyouko yelled in pain- cried even. I don't know what he did to her, but the sound was something I never want to hear again, if I even survive this thing.

And then I heard the sound of salvation.

CYCLONE - MAXIMUM DRIVE

HEAT - MAXIMUM DRIVE

TRIGGER - MAXIMUM DRIVE

JOKER - MAXIMUM DRIVE

The dual voice of W Extreme, an intensity and furiosity to it that I'd never heard before.

"Final Prism Breaker!", followed by of all things silence. A silence that stretched into infinity, but all at once was broken by the sound of something shattering. I lurched forward, desparately hoping it was Kyubey, but despairing that it wasn't.

Double Stood- barely. Kyubey had fallen back, a black scar across his chest. Those uncaring eyes, that unfriendly smile. Nothing phased him.

"That _was_ impressive, Kamen Rider-san," he said after a moment. "You have done substantial damage to this body. It will take longer to reach Quota than previously estimated. However your interference will not result in the outcome you desire."

He turned, empty red eyes facing me.

"Nor you, interloper-san."

My hands reached out for something, anything to steady me, taking in that uncaring gaze. In that moment I knew I was going to die.

"I... I'm going to die," I said, incredulous. The inanity of the situation overtook me, and I strained not to laugh. "I'm going to die trapped inside a fictional universe, killed by a plushy ripoff of the antispiral."

And then I laughed. I hurt. Laughter hurts. But it made me feel better too. I could accept this. Faced with this end, I could just lay down and die. The pain... it wouldn't hurt anymore, right?

But I wanted to live. I'd long ago promised myself that no matter the pain of living, of continuing on, I would survive. I would see things through. That single edict became the cornerstone of all my mental training, all my efforts to pull myself out of the black. It had become something inherent to my being.

Then my hand closed around something weighty. It was a good weight, something real. This was real.

"No," I said, disbelieving. I glanced down at the thing which I held. It was a device. More than that, it was a familiar device, all black and gold. I stared, and then my smile returned, a grim smirk. I might die, but I would go out fighting. I would be remembered, at least.

"Really Interloper-san? Your resources are spent. Your allies are spent," he made a motion and Double fell, de-transforming into the two men who made up his form. "What hope do you have to yet interfere?"

This weight was familiar. I knew it. I had seen it a hundred times before. But never had I thought I'd see it in person. See it in reality.

A part of me wondered what connections the Museum had with the Wonderful Azure Sky Organization.

A part of me wondered if what I was about to try would even work.

A part of me... a part of could not deny that this was without a doubt the coolest thing I would ever do.

"Just one," I replied, grimacing. "Now, return that life to god!"

I slammed the weighted device against my fist, even as an comfortable weight settled around my waist.

RE-EA-DY

"Henshin!" I yelled, slamming the IXA Knuckle down into place on the belt.

FIST-O-ON

Then I was awash with power like that of the sun. Heat flowed over me, surrounding me. But it wasn't the heat of pain- in fact, it took my pain away. Armour settled around me, augmenting my strength, fitting around my form. The heat flashed away, and a shell of overtechnology stood between me and Kyubey. In my hand was a sword that was also a gun, and instinctively I raised it and fired.

The impact threw me back, and against the warmth that surrounded me I could feel my injuries. But against that feeling I brought steel. I stepped forward, calling upon the rudimentary self defense training I'd once had. Kyubey's motions seemed... slower. Maybe it was the suit. I struck, the gun converting to a sword. My attack seemed to take Kyubey by surprise, because he didn't even seem to bother dodging. But the attack had the power of the sun behind it, and sparks erupted from where the blade slid through the amber flesh of his body. Reflexively, he swatted at me with a spear, and the attack sent me flying. But the armour of a Kamen Rider is quite something. I rolled and landed on my feet- albeit barely.

"I'm not done yet," I growled. As if in response to my will, my vision shifted, and IXA released a burst of fire. Burst Mode Ready.

Now, the one thing I'd always wanted as a kid was to be a Power Ranger. It was that generation I grew up in, when Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers first aired, and TV was actually great.

It's not quite the same being a Rider- but it's damn close.

Of course, if I had been in my right mind I would never have done it. My fighting experience? Mostly theoretical. My ability to actually fight? Eh... I'm actually kind of out of shape here. So there are a couple things contributing to 'Why Kerrus would not put up a super suit and run headfirst into danger'.

But I did. Getting lit on fire and thrown through a wall will put you into the sort of manic do or die mindset that allows for all sorts of weird things. Like putting on a overtechnology super suit from another universe, even if you can't tell if it's the up to date one, or the crummy 1986 version (the one that's apparently water cooled and vents waste heat directly into the interior- whoever designed that was an idiot, let me tell you)

In this case, I'll say that I appear to have been lucky. This isn't the 1986 prototype.

Of course, what it is opens up a lot of questions. Many of them I don't have time to answer right now.

What I will ask is this: Just who the hell were the Sonozaki family? Oh, Kamen Rider W, the TV show says they're the family that's close to the Earth. That they're some bloodline that has a spiritual connection with the world.

It's one thing to have a spiritual connection with the world. It's another to turn that into freaky overtechnology. I mean, okay, I can buy that the Earth has a memory and you can use those memories to summon ancient power- magma, dinosaurs, giant birds. It's not so far a stretch.

Motorcycles though? Acceleration? Weather?

This universe operates under some pretty freaky rules. But it's not all bad. Whatever's the baseline here is imical to Kyubey, or so he claims.

Kyubey responded to my attack by throwing his spear at me. In the moment it took for my blade to deflect it, he conjured two rifles, fired them down (generating a massive cloud of acrid black smoke), and then burst through wielding a very sort yellow dagger. I stepped back. Programmed muscle memory led me to duck, twisting around in what might have looked like fluid motion, but felt really awkward. Nevertheless, the move prevented his dagger from even making contact- and I suspected that was a good thing. Every weapon I'd seen Puella Magi use had gotten bigger the more powerful it was. This weapon, however, was tiny. But it glowed intently, with some inner power. Who had wielded this? What was she or he like?

Who owned the soul which was broken to forge such a blade?

I scowled- then threw myself back to avoid a torrent of flame.

Given what I know of him, it would be far more likely that he'd stay in the shadows, or even find some way to evade us entirely. Confronting us directly like this? It reeks of depseration. Hell, I'm not even sure an entity like him would do so even if he were desperate. If I were him, I'd always have another plan.

"You are alone, Interloper-san. Your allies have been dealt with. There is nothing you can put between yourself and your end that will fortstall it. Not comrades, not allies, not innocents. You will die, Interloper. You will be laid onto dust. Even that armour you wear, though it protects you for now, will fail. All things die, Interloper. Surely you know this, and yet you still resist. Why?"

"Why not?" I growled back.

With a yell and a prayer, I put all my strength into a leap that carried me up and forwards. Then I crouched, tensing, legs catching on a broken pillar. I kicked, turning that tension into motion, and launching myself inside Kyubey's guard. He struck at me, dagger deflecting off my armour in a shower of acrid sparks. I winced in pain, but brought my blade through the motion I'd begun, slashing forwards and up with both hands. Like a knife through butter, the blade cut through Kyubey's amber hide. Through the pulsing light of the corrupted Soul Gem/Gaia Memory at the heart of the beast. A light that turned harsh upon my strike.

"You are a fool," he said. "You would die to save this world?"

"Perhaps," I replied. "To save this world? Maybe. To buy time? Definitely."

"You are-"

TRIAL

A flash of blue as Kamen Rider Accel blitzed through the room faster than I could see, striking Kyubey and then vanishing. Then more blue, entering from where he had left. Then blue, then blue on blue on blue, each strike generated a T shaped cross of crackling energy.

TRIAL: MAXIMUM DRIVE

Accel raced into the room then twisted, one foot forwards and the other in the air. All his momentum converted into a spinning motion. A roundhouse, rising vertical, a kick that sent Kyubey flying straight up through the broken remains of the Museum's skylight. My eyes narrowed, and I caught sight of the red clad form of Kyouko, spear wielded in two hands, descending. The sun behind her back, she raced down. Furious power in that slash, and she struck. Her spear bisected Kyubey, smashing through the corrupted soul gem at the heart of the Amber Dopant. It shattered, a mass of orange coloured glass flying to one side, and a corpse flying to the other.

Kyouko landed perfectly, then turned towards us. Behind her a fireball consumed the remains of the Amber Dopant.

"Kyouko, are you okay?" I asked, stepping forward. The IXA armour fell, slipping away to wherever the IXA Knuckle kept it between transformations. But my concern was the girl before me. She'd used an awful lot of power with that attack. "Are you-"

"I'm fine," She replied sharply, averting her eyes. "T-this was nothing. It was just revenge okay? It's not like I..."

"Okay..." I replied, stepping back. I turned to Terui- Kamen Rider Accel. "So are we done?"

"I think we are," he said, glancing at the scorched remants of the Amber Dopant. No trace of Kyubey remained. Nor sign that he had survived that final strike.

"Oi, Phillip, wake up!" shouted an angry sounding Shotaro. Covered in drywall dust, but still intact, the young detective shook his unconscious partner.

"I'm up, I'm up," the younger man replied, pulling himself up to a sitting position. "I think we won."

"You think? We're not dead," Shotaro said with a grimace. "But I bet I'll be feeling these aches for the next week. Hey Kerrus-san, about our fee!"

Damn, I knew I'd forgotten something.

* * *

><p>You might think that we should have stayed put. God knows I wanted to- but I also wanted to go home. Home with all its flaws, all its mundanity. Home with all the people I knew, all the lives I had invested in. While the current universe was undeniably cool to be in, it also wasn't terrifically different from my own- and given a choice between my universe of origin and a universe just like it where I didn't exist, I know which one I'd pick every time.<p>

Unfortunately, with Kyubey's destruction, we really didn't have any means of generating the sort of world twisting distortion that had got us here in the first place. Or so I thought.

"You want to _what?_" I asked, blinking. I wasn't sure if I had heard Phillip correctly.

"We can take you into the Gaia Library," he replied. "Both Shotaro and Terui have been there before, the principle of the matter is really quite simple. The Gaia Library is an information hub, a nexus of space and time. If there really is a force moving you from one world to another, it will be visible there."

Stay here or head further down the rabbit hole? I knew my answer, much though I'd rather I didn't.

Nevertheless I turned away and thought on it.

"I'll need to talk to the girls about it. I can't just do this now- I don't want to strand them if it works."

"Of course," Phillip replied, turning and heading off. I glanced after him, then turned back to my own thoughts after a moment.

On the one hand, Phillip was absolutely correct. There _was_ some sort of force following me around, just waiting for me to jump into a spatial distortion so it could yank me off to the next world.

In the vast white emptyness of the Gaia Library, it manifested as a giant red and blue maelstrom of twisting space, a blot on the otherwise empty plain. Not only that, but it was pulling me towards it, exerting a constant force that I had to anchor myself against.

"You ready for this gaijin?" Kyouko asked, smirking.

"Not really, no," I replied, stepping back again as I had not a minute ago. Goddamn. "Don't have much of a choice if I want to go home though."

Tch.

"Thanks for doing this," I said to Phillip and Shotaro. Terui would've been there, but some last minute case had taken him out of the city. We'd said our goodbyes over a phone.

I had to say that Shotaro looked good in his fedora. Detective-like. I hefted my backpack and smiled at him.

"Well, I don't like saying goodbye, so I'll say so long," I said. "We ready?"

"Of course gaijin."

"Yes Kerrus-san."

The two girls smiled, each in their own way. Kyouko had an arm wrapped around Tsubame, pulling her close, and a smirk on her face. I nodded and too Kyouko's hand.

"Hold on tight," I said, and then stepped forward. "Down the rabbit hole we-"

The world went pony.

"-go?"


	3. Finding a Way

**Disclaimer: **I own my own characters. I don't own the characters that aren't mine. I'm just a poor writer, and I'm not making any money off of this, so please don't sue.

Reviews and criticism is welcome, of course, and I'll warn you that this was written without any beta- although that's going to change apparently, thanks to some devoted fans. Regardless, I'll be doing various revisions on this chapter, as I've already identified parts that need work. Of course right now I'm just happy to finally have it complete.

This chapter couldn't have been finished without the support of SB and Viewers Like You, so thank y'all.

* * *

><p>It seemed a fairly standard world. Of course, I'd only seen three, but three was two too many. In any case, between an atmosphere that wasn't trying to kill me, green grass, blue sky, and a bright friendly sun, about the only things that could possibly put a damper on my spirits were that had materialized in the middle of nowhere- no hint of civilization to be found, and that...<p>

The transit through the portal had been rough- far rougher than when Kyubey threw us out of his Universe. Nevertheless, I'd arrived awake, although the same couldn't be said about Kyouko. Tsubame... We'd fallen from a great height, and I'd lost my hold on her. Lost my sight of her. Damnit.

There was something else, however. It was something I was currently doing my best to ignore, but I wasn't having much luck.

"Gaijin, what the fuck is going on?" a red hued pony with a spiky mane and a crossed spear and pocky stick mark on her rump growled at me. I shook my mane and frowned, pulling myself to my hooves. "Where's Tsubame? Where are we? What are we?"

"I don't know, I don't know- but I suspect, and I actually have an answer for the last one," I replied with a wicker. "We're ponies now."

Ponies are cool.

Finding a path into town had been surprisingly easy- the meadow we had landed in was bordered by a forest on one side, and an old dirt road on the other. As my half-remembered recollections of 'Ponyville' placed it in the middle of a valley, I'd started heading in the direction that took us 'downwards' rather than try and find our way by the yet rising sun.

That it was early yet was a boon to us- it meant daylight, and that meant that it would be easier to find our way. And easier to explain the vagaries of our current location to Kyouko, whom was taking this all rather poorly.

"So this is a show for little girls?" Kyouko asked, glancing up as she trundled along. "And you're familiar with it?"

Always with the mocking.

"Yes, and yes. Hell, I'm familiar with the one from the eighties. The bad one," I replied. "You've been spoiled by the internet- when I was a kid, you watched what was on TV. Even if it was little pink ponies dancing around a magical utopia."

I glanced at the sun- it was early yet.

"Anyways, the new show was made with an eye to be enjoyable for parents who had to watch the show with their kids- there's very little worse than having to watch hours upon hours of bad TV, and the producers were merciful."

"So... internet following?"

"Basically."

"So what's with the mark on your ass?" She asked, swearing. "Are you some sort of pinwheel pony?"

My Cutie Mark- something I'd considered extremely unlikely since I had never discovered a real 'one true talent' in life, looked very much like a pinwheel- a spiral of multiple colours coming together. Sort of like a little galaxy or the like- I was tempted to make a TTGL reference but Kyouko would never get it.

"Whenever a Pony finds that One True Thing they're meant to do- that special talent that's theirs- they get a Cutie Mark- a sort of manifestation of it. It's not a tattoo or anything external, it's..."

I paused.

"Well, it's magic."

A thought occured to me.

"Out of curioity, can you still transform?" I asked.

"I... I'm a pony now, I don't know."

"Could you try? It might be worth it to find out," I replied. Kyouko glowered, then shook her head. Drawing an arm forward, she summoned her soul gem- still looking the same as I'd last seen it- and invoked the transformative power.

In magical girl anime, the transformation sequence is often a lengthy and flashy montage of transformation, posing, sparkles, and magic. But it's usually also from the point of view of the person transforming- to everyone else, there's usually just a quick flash of light.

Reality proved to have accepted this conceit, as all I witnessed was a brief pirouette and a flash as Kyouko the Earth Pony transformed into the excellently garbed Kyouko the Puella Magi Unicorn.

Her trusty spear materialized out of the ether, wreathed in a faintly red glow- a glow that was similarly replicated around Kyouko's horn. She posed and smirked, a stick of Pocky in her mouth.

"Well I guess that answers that," I said. "Although you should probably practice using it in that form."

"Using what?" Kyouko replied, then glanced where I was looking and noticed the floating spear. "Oh, that's easy Gaijin- Puella Magi learn basic motive magic early on."

To demonstrate, she sent the spear through a dazzling array of pirouettes, twists, turns, flips, dancing across the air before us. Then with a wink and a whinnie, she reared back and canceled her transformation- her soul gem returning to its place around her neck. Surprisingly, no darkness of despair clouded it- as it might have otherwise done after such a flagrant use of magic.

"I think it's this place, Gaijin. It feels so light and happy here."

"Yeah, I don't think there really is much dark or despair here. This place is pretty much a utopia from what I recall," I replied, musing. Then Kyouko gave a yelp as she spotted the silhouette of another pony on the horizon, and dashed off. While in better shape than I'd been before this all started, I was nevertheless rather out of breath as I began catching up to her, racing away.

* * *

><p>The truth of the matter is that there is Darkness in Equestria- thought I'd thought it all dispersed or banished. But even cast to the four winds and severed of its tie to the greatest host it had ever found, a thing greater than any darkness I could envision, that which called itself neither Witch nor Demon, gathered to itself as it watched our motions through the world.<p>

The Nightmare still had work to do.

* * *

><p>Awareness came back to Tsubame slowly. It started with the little things, like a smell- the smell of spring. Then a vague recognition that she felt different... good, but different.<p>

Then she opened her eyes, and as the sunlight flooded into her soul, she found herself lying in bed. Instinctively, she knew that this was her bed- but something was nagging at her. Something was... not wrong, but off. Just by a bit.

She swung her head around, spotting the satchel she'd been carrying... carrying... before?

Pain.

She hissed as what felt like a needle of pure fire lanced through her head. With it came... memories. Strange memories, of two ponies she knew to be her friends, back when they had fought together against a...

Pain.

No, that wasn't right. There was something just out of reach.

"Ponies?" She said aloud, relieved to hear her own voice. "What did I mean when I thought ponies?"

Pulling herself to her feet, she focused her mind, and summoned the light of her soul. While no longer a Puella Magi, Tsubame had discovered that there were many things she could do- and this was one. Wrapping herself in herself, she sifted through her thoughts, finding each one that resonated with the light of her soul.

Then she found one that didn't.

Teasing it out from within her mind, Tsubame took a good look at the thought. As far as thoughts go, it was slight and delicate, the sort of thought that would be overlooked at a glance, but would follow you for days. It was a thought that would give you ideas and direction- but never taking control. It was a suggestion, and it hadn't originated from her own mind.

With a bit of focus and a spark of... whatever her magic had become since her transformation that day... Tsubame shattered the foreign thought.

As soon as it was gone, she became aware of something she had missed.

"I'm a pony," she said to herself in realization.

Standing a bit awkwardly, she headed over to her room's only window, and stared out at the impressive view. The towers of Canterlot stretched before her, and in the distance she could see other structures. Everywhere- be it land or sky, there were ponies. Ponies of every kind and colour. It was... Tsubame laughed.

"This must be what Kerrus-san feels like," she said softly to herself. "Being tossed into a world that you only knew as fiction. It's quite something."

"Isn't it?" a voice said, intruding upon her thoughts.

Tsubame turned her equine head, glancing at the door. There was another pony there- Well, more of a horse. But a equine she recognized, between the glimmering white coat, the regal flowing mane of pastel rainbow, and the noble unicorn's horn.

This was Princess Celestia, the living goddess of all the ponies of Equestria.

"Eep," was all Tsubame had to say in reply.

Tsubame took a halting step forward, extending her wings to steady herself, and inclined her head.

"I- I'm sorry," she said, apologizing, temporizing.

"Ah, she speaks at last," Celestia said warmly. "Do not worry, you are safe here."

"Ah," replied Tsubame. She glanced at her satchel, and magic that was both familiar and different wreathed it, carrying it to her. Everything within was still present- proof that she really had turned into a pony- and not just been one all along. "But how did I get here? Where are my friends?"

Celestia raised an eyebrow slightly.

"My sincere apologies, but there were no others. You arrived alone, from the sky. Did not our brethren warn you of the barrier?" she asked.

Wait, what?

"I-I'm sorry, who is it you speak of?" Tsubame asked, genuinely confused. The Celestia she knew of from the TV series had been a living deity, certainly, but she had never had any brethren save her sister Luna. Indeed, the show had never really gone into the origins of Equestria or its goddesses.

Celestia's smile drooped, but only slightly.

"Oh," she said, mind coming to terms with what Tsubame had said, and had not said.

* * *

><p>"Ooh! Twitchy tail, itchy noise, elbow ache, twitchy twitch, slippy hoof! It's exposition time!"<p>

"It's what time? What does that even mean?"

"Silly Spike, it's Exposition time. Someone's giving a long impassioned speech explaining something to someone. I bet it's Twilight, she's always explaining things, but she usually doesn't do the voiceover thing. It's not really exposition without the big voiceover you know!."

"I... uh... okay?"

"Now get me that flour, we've still got a lot of cupcakes to make for Rainbow Dash's birthday!"

* * *

><p>Gathering her magic to her, Celestia called for an image of a world, and then expanded it. A blue-green planet orbited a star, and itself was orbited by a single moon.<p>

"This is Sha Ka Ree, the birthplace of our people," she said, as the image zooned in on the planet. Beneath the vast clouds was a wasteland of a world. There was no sign that civilization had ever stood upon this planet, save one- a temple structure. Abandoned, worn down by the endless winds, it was nevertheless a sign that something had lived here, once. "This planet was once the prison for an ancient and powerful being, but a being that was ultimately limited by its own malevolence."

An image appeared, of an azure lightning bolt. It flickered and changed, shifting into forms familiar and alien.

"One day this entity summoned thinking beings to it, from across the great barrier that protects this world. They came aboard a vast winged vessel. But they did not give in to its whims, and fought against the being. Though they could not destroy it, their weapons cut it a terrible wound, and then dispersed it."

The image changed, showing a fountain of blow sparks, a meteor shower bathing the world. Where the sparks landed, the land became young and vibrant again. Mountains rose, even as life sprung forth from the passing energy.

The image focused on one such upwelling of life, and Tsubame glimpsed a small village. Moreover, she saw that this village was inhabited by ponies- but not the Earth Ponies, or Unicorns she was familiar with, or even the Pegasus ponies whom kept Equestria's skies orderly. These were winged unicorns, of the same type that Celestia and her sister-goddess Luna belonged to.

There was one difference between their august being and these.

"They... they're normal," Tsubame said, realizing. These beings, though possessed of a similar form to the Winged Unicron who stood before her, were mortal. They were birthed, they bled, they grew old, and they died. Then the image spun, and returned to showing the world from orbit, as it swung around its yearly journey of its sun, and the planet's moon around it.

"These are our People. The first Ponies," Celestia said, casting her magic out on the winds of memory. "We were all so young, so vibrant then. We were advancing faster than we could adapt, and spreading farther than we knew how to stop."

An image of cities, of towers, of vast winged vessels heading to other stars. It was a triumphant image, one that gave Tsubame a feeling of hope.

Then the image turned red.

"War came to our lands. Clashing ideologies, differing desires. It destroyed our civilization, until there were too few of us to go on. We knew we could not continue as we had, but that we could not move forward alone. So we chose a new path."

Ponies gathered, coming out from beneath destroyed cities, from crashed vessels, and even from the wild outlands where no pony was thought to live. They gathered together, sharing their knowledge and awareness.

In time, they stood before a familiar temple. Once used to bind the being that gave birth to them all, now put to a different task. A magic of three parts was fathered there, a magic that had no place for destructiveness, or anarchy. For the sake of their future, the First Ponies were reborn, gathering their destructiveness, their hatred, and their dark desires. They stripped these things from their very being, and cast them down into the dark, bound to that ancient temple, that forgotten prison.

"Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter," Celestia said, after the last of the winged unicorns, a mare with a familiar pink mane, cast away her darkness and rose as a new being. "Then we... they... left. No longer bound to a world, to culture or tradition, they flew. No longer contained by a barrier meant to protect an Eden decimated by evil, and to protect the galaxy beyond from temptation, they went. It seemed like forever, traveling, exploring, seeking and learning. In time they moved further still, heading onwards and upwards."

The luminous forms of the winged unicorns appeared, flashing out into space, vanishing into a sky full of stars. They cast a shimmering light as each vanished into the night, leaving behind the place of their birth.

"However, not all of us sought to leave this place behind. Some remained. I... I remained," Celestia continued. "While there was truly much to explore, and I do not bregrudge our brethren for seeking it out, there were other tasks to be done."

Fallen cities, destroyed vessels broken upon the landscape. Toxic clouds raining acid that etched its way across a now unfamiliar landscape.

"I took it upon myself to repair the damage my people had done. In time, I succeeded," she explained, as the image of a familiar world shone once again. The image shifted, showing a single tower built into the side of a familiar mountain. The tower Tsubame was in now, but not surrounded by the imperious heights of Canterlot. Not yet. "Then a miracle occured. While my people had gone and left, seeking and searching, learning and finding, I had not expected to see any again. It had been so long. But one came back!"

A midnight blue foal with familiar colouring.

"Princess Luna," Tsubame breathed. Celestia merely nodded her head.

"She that is my sister returned to me. Though much has happened since, I will never forget that she gave up an eternity of wonder to return to me."

The image flashed forward, and then centered on an older Luna, but a Luna in a kind of pain. Her eyes were narrow, and she hissed, even as Celestia attended her. She was different somehow, also. Larger, almost as if...

Oh...

"Yes," Celestia said with a proud smile. "My sister returned to me with the seeds of new life. I had not dared try and rebuild our people, but Luna had met a being there, out among the stars, and their essence had mingled. From that union came my little ponies. My beautiful children."

Celestia flicked her horn and the image went dark. As Tsubame met her eyes, she saw something there, a sorrow long held in abbeyance, and a fierce pride that was invigorating and a little terrifying at the same time.

"I had never dreamed that another would return."

"M-me?" Tsubame said, eyes widening. She gestured with an emerald clad hoof to herself.

"Though my little ponies call us by a different name, we are both of the same stock. Though I sense, now, that you are... are new, and I do not know where you have traveled from, or under what guise, I recognize you all the same. Welcome, Sister, to my world. I had hoped, but never dreamed, to one day find you. To find another."

"Another?" Tsubame asked, though she already had an answer forming.

"Thou peculiar filly!" exclaimed a new voice, speaking in the most archaic english Tsubame had ever eard, as a rather happy looking Princess Luna poked her head in the room. "Verily mine sister years too much for yonder days! But it is truly a wonder to find one such as thee, a Titan born of another star. Comest, and partake of the sharing with us!"

Celestia broke into a giggle at the anachronisms, and she smiled.

"Yes, what my sister said," she told Tsubame with a smile. "So tell me all about you. I want to know every detail!"

Tsubame had the abrupt feeling that this was going to be a long day. Between Celestia, God Princess of all Ponies, and Luna, God Princess of-

"Is that an Abacus?"

* * *

><p>Ponyville was... well it was a small town much like many of the small towns I'd passed through when I was a kid. Houses, more houses, a school, an absolutely tiny town center with nothing of particular interest to me- just a few stores that could cater to the small town community.<p>

Nevertheless, for a small town it was bustling, as ponies of every kind and color headed about their day. Most I didn't recognize- no doubt background ponies that the Show had never really detailed- but here and there I caught sight of some more familiar ones.

Colgate, the brushie pony. Berry Punch, the overly protective mother/town drunk, Lyra and Bon-Bon, and hell, even Derpy Hooves. With so many quasi-background ponies around, and none of the primary cast, I suspected we'd arrived either between episodes or at least after season 1 had finished.

Glancing back at Kyouko, I-

"Kyouko?" I said to the empty air. Damnit, where the hell would she go?

I turned around, backing up slowly to get a better view. Everywhere I looked, however, was either a background pony I knew, or a background pony I didn't know. Kyouko, however, was nowhe- oh. Of course, she's at Sugarcube Corner, the town sweet shop.

I ambled towards the familiar sign and glanced through the window- sure enough, Kyouko was within, picking her way through various offerings.

*sigh*

"Kyouko," I said, entering. "We don't have any local currency you kno-" and then I paused, spotting the other denizen of this particular locale. Hot pink- and not just that, but like, it was like she was actually emitting more light into her surroundings. This was Pinkie Pie, the town party planner, and a pony whom had in an episode titled "Party of One" gone completely fucking whacko.

Aside from those events, she was purportedly a happy bouncy cartoon physics absuing pony- and from what I had seen of her, all of a few seconds, I could totally believe it.

"Hi mister, I've never seen you before either. That's two ponies in one day I've never met before, you know this calls for a PARTAAAAAAAAY!"

Pinkie Pie bounced, jumped, and flipped, and I cocked an ear and glanced at Kyouko, who snorted and looked away from me.

"I'm sure we'd be delighted to," I said, temporizing. "In the meantime..."

I checked my wallet just to confirm- yes, my money hadn't magically converted to the local currency. Right.

"We're kind of broke."

Pinkie sort of deflated a bit, but then sprung right back.

"You're new, right? What sort of candy do you like?" she asked, abruptly in front of me, then by Kyouko. I hadn't seen her move, so it was pretty intimidating.

"Uh, hrm, what kind of candy do I like?" More to the point, what kind of candy that I like would be recognizable here? Specifically, which ones didn't contain some sort of gelatin.

"Do you have Pocky?" Kyouko asked after only a moment's thought.

Right, of course.

"Pocky? What's that?" Pinkie replied with an innocent look. She glanced at me.

"Uh, chocolate coated bis-mmphm!" Kouko cut me off with a hoof to my mouth.

"How about we make a deal," she said to Pinkie Pie with a grin. "I'll help you make some Pocky, and if it sells, you cut me in on the profit. If it doesn't, my friend here will help out around the store to pay off the costs."

"Mfmm!" I said, glaring.

"Hmm... Okie dokie lokie!"

My life. Fuck it.

I'd been to two fictional worlds now- Equestria made three. But never before had I quite been so terrified of how much I could seriously fuck things up.

Equestria was a Utopia of talking colourful magical horses. Ponies, to be specific. It had some basic artistic conceits for its design, but was otherwise fairly carefully balanced. There were things that I knew and could probably say even just offhand, that could, at best, get me looked at funny, and at worse... I glanced up at the moon.

For instance. Gelatin and Gelatin byproducts. While it was possible that Ponies used some sort of substitute like Agar-Agar, if I ever talked about Gelatin... scary.

Another thing was leather. I wasn't entirely sure if ponies *had* leather or not- I dunno if they did any sort of work with animal byproducts, and all it would take is one inquisitive pony getting a good look at my pleather wallet and... While I could probably get off from that one, even just knowing *about* leather could be a big risk.

Basically, I'd need to keep a lot of things to myself. Now, to be fair, I was pretty good at that usually, but usually I wasn't called upon to be this... careful... with my phrasing. If even just one thing got through, I could be in trouble.

Or... maybe I was just overlooking the innate positivity of this place. It was a magical utopian pony paradise, after all.

Regardless, there were things to do. Like first, some reading. While Kyouko and I certainly wanted to find Tsubame, there really wasn't too much we could do towards that end, given that she hadn't come into contact with Ponyville. I'd asked Pinkie Pie if she'd seen any, likely green, pony with that name shortly after the last stick of Sugarcube Corner's latest tasty treat, Pinkie and Kyouko's home made Pocky, had vanished down the throat of one 'Twist', a young mare with a lisp who was apparently doing some sort of spring/summer internship at the store. An unequivocal success, though I of course had worried that it would flop and I'd be stuck doing more hard labour, the Pocky had netted us a small quantity of Bits, the local currency.

Bits were, largely, painted wooden coins. But I'd discovered that they were made out of specific types of wood that were of limited availability- ensuring their value. Each level of denomination, of which there were three that I'd dubbed 'Gold', 'Silver' and 'Bronze', was made of a different type. Two of those were trees supposedly only found in the Royal Gardens of Canterlot. The third, producing the ones I'd dubbed 'Bronze' was only found deep in the Everfree Forest. While adventuring ponies occasionally headed out into the wild on expeditions to harvest such trees, I got the feeling that these were pretty rare and generally not considered worth the effort.

It really is too bad that Equestria doesn't have anything of value to export- or I could load up on... on...

I stared through the front window of Carousel Boutique, the high end clothing design store owned by 'Rarity', one of the main cast of the show. A unicorn pony with a flair for sparkly things, Rarity's special talent had if I recalled correctly, been a spell that located gemstones which were apparently *so* abundant that you could find them just by digging up a random field.

Gemstones.

I can work with this.

But first there were other matters to attend to. I didn't feel any impending dimensional warps coming (I was pretty sure that was, if not my special pony talent, then related to it, given the events of the last two worlds), and there was one thing I really wanted to do: Have fun.

Being thrown into a death zone (Madoka's world), and then ending up at the lower side of the poverty line in a world much like my own, but with added supertech monsters... there had been little opportunity to do things I enjoyed. Oh, sure, I'd browsed the internet a bit in either world, read a couple fanfics similar to stuff I'd read back home, but with enough differences to not really be the same at all. Ultimately, I wanted to find something interesting to read, and read it.

That meant my next stop was the Ponyville Library. But I wasn't looking for fiction, no, I was looking for one thing that this unique location could provide. Books... on magic.

Oh, sure, I was currently an Earth pony incapable of perfomring magic, and outside of this world, all that info would likely be useless, but books...

I wanted them.

As it turns out, Twilight Sparkle, who was currently rooming in the town Library thanks to the good graces of her Royal Goddessness Celestia, was out. On business apparently. Her erstwhile assistant, the dragon Spike- a short bipedal anthromorphic dragon that barely came up to my shoulder- as a pony mind you- was in however.

"So you want books on magic?" he asked, not quite believing my request. "You know that you're an Earth Pony right?"

"Oh, I'm aware," I replied with a grin. "But when I heard that this town had a library attended by the personal student of her glory Celestia, I just had to check out its selection. I read, you know."

I was pretty sure Earth ponies had a reputation for being mostly illiterate, given what I'd seen of them. It wasn't exactly easy to turn pages with hooves, and I'd yet to see any pony reading anything more substantial than a newspaper that wasn't a Unicorn- so I imagine my request was rather odd.

Actually, the whole hooves issue was something else. Turning pages was going to be... difficult. But I was pretty sure I could manage it with some sort of pointy object held in a hoof- or barring that, my surprisingly dextrous mouth.

"You're here because of Twilight? Well why didn't you say so!" Spike said with a grin. "Have you read Heimlock Fetlock's Treatise on Magical Inversion? Twilight said that it was just perfect! Oh, and of course there's Mareie Shellie's Ten Laws of Basic Animation- we just got that in last week and..."

He drew me aside and glanced around furtively.

"It's actually banned by the Royal Library in Canterlot, but I know I pony who knows a pony," Spike confided.

Right. No, I really didn't want to read the book on necromancy or golem making, or whatever it was that the pony equivalent of the author of Frankenstein had written. Not before I had something more basic in my hooves.

"These all sound interesting," I told Spike as he continued to prattle. "But I was wondering if there might be something more basic- I was hoping to see if basic magical technique differed this side of Canterlot."

I, to be completely honest, had no idea if there was *anything* on the other side of Canterlot, but it made such a good turn of phrase I couldn't give it up.

"Oh, well we have Mare Ibrium's introduction to the Subtle Magics," Spike replied cheerfully. "It's technically a second edition, released by a descendant- the original book was published over a thousand years ago and only a few copies remain in the Royal Library."

Yes, I totally believed that such a blatant moon reference pony name, coupled with the 'a thousand years ago' didn't refer to Princess Luna. Not.

"Oh, that sounds great," I said. "Seriously, you have my thanks."

"Oh, it was nothing," Spike replied. "Besides, I'm happy for the company, it's always kind of boring around here when Twilight's out of town- and she took Rarity with her."

Okay, for the uninitiated: This dragon, whom is probably something like 13-15 years old in human terms, has an unrequited crush on the unicorn Rarity. Well, I say unrequited, but he hasn't actually done anything to really indicate to her that he's interested.

I don't really know how interspecies relationships work here- or even if they work- but apparently it isn't considered a very strange thing.

"Well, thanks anyways," I said, curling up with the book and taking my first steps into learning how magic worked.

Magic, at least as it relates to Unicorn Ponies, is apparently not an innate ability to cheat code the universe, so much as it is a more spiritual thing- albeit a thing with rules and orders and laws all its own.

All ponies possessed a degree of magic- but it manifested in different ways. Unicorn Magic as it was known, however, is a little bit different.

Namely, that there's two parts to it. The innate part, which is basic unicorn telekinesis/'spell talent', and an external part based around the manipulation of exterior forces. As unicorns were the only ponies with any sort of fine manipulation ability they could use their ability to accomplish a great many things. Teleportation, transmutation, abjuration- any of the basic D&D schools of magic were well within their abiliy to use- provided they could fine tune their manipulation of those elements that were already present in the world.

For instance: Unicorn teleportation looked suspiciously like quantum tunneling. It required using telekinesis to bend space- with that innate magic of being a pony allowing one to even touch space without using massed attractors to alter it indirectly. Everything I'd read in the intro primer, and the other half-dozen books I was now paging through, suggested that all ponies possessed this innate capability to touch forces far beyond those that mankind could use without technology. But again, only unicorns really possessed the fine and active manipulation to do anything particular with them.

But I was pretty sure that there were other ways. One book, Alameda Dash's Guide to Weather Working was a primer for Pegasus Pony manipulation of the weather on a wide scale. While small towns like Ponyville maintained their own pegasus weather working teams, larger cities like Canterlot or Stalliongrad needed to take the regional weather into consideration. While weather required tending by ponies to make sure it didn't whip out of control- such a thing could happen far more easily when one was working with a larger scale.

That meant that they had to learn how the weather interacted with the magical forces innate to Equestria. Magic tended towards certain patterns, and the weather was no different. By utilizing these patterns, a pegasus could set up a weather system that would- largely- tend to itself.

Oh, and for the record, these weather systems looked nothing like the real systems I'd seen back home. They were quite clearly some sort of arcane setup.

Regardless, the point I'm trying to make is that all ponies are capable of the interactions required to utilize magic. This interaction just tends to differ between the different types of ponies. I briefly wondered if there was any local equivalent to new age magic type of things. Nah. Although...

I frowned, setting my book down and heading back to the shelves.

U, V, W... Weather Working, Wind, Windsurfing- ah, here we go, Witchcraft.

I opened the book and glanced at the introductory page.

"Blah blah blah witchcraft blah blah blah infringing on sole domain of unicorn arcanists, blah blah- oh hey, score!" I said to myself, paging through. Then I found a photograph- or perhaps a painting, I wasn't sure. In it was an unfamiliar pony in the center of something that looked like a generic magic circle. At his hooves was a crumpled form oozing blood- I couldn't tell what it was. The caption was "Blood Sacrifice at the Temple of the Crimson Sun, Equestria Century 35."

I flipped the page, and found the most simple explanation I'd yet read, penned into the book by someone other than the intial publisher.

"Witchcraft studies the invocation of the First Demon, the Night Mare Armus, and it is used to destroy and dominate. Where this creature originated, or our part in its creation, I do not yet know. Witchcraft is forbidden by imperial edict."

Um... okay.

"What'cha reading?" a vibrant pink Earth Pony that had appeared with a pop out of the corner of my eye asked cheerfully.

"I saw that, you know," I replied deadpan.

"Saw what?" Pinkie Pie asked, turning and looking in the direction I had been looking- ie: where she was standing.

"You teleporting in here. I saw it."

"Oh Kerrus, you're so random!" she replied, throwing what was usually a turn of phrase her friends- but specifically Twilight- used when she did things they couldn't cope with at me. "Everypony knows that only Unicorns can do that, and do I look like a Unicorn to you?"

She held her hooves over her forehead, where a horn would have been had she really been a unicorn.

"... I'm not altogether sure on that, to be honest," I replied.

"-what, really?" Pinkie asked, bouncing around. "Anyways, I wanted to tell you that the party's in an hour- don't be late. You looked so cozied up with that book I thought you were Twilight for a second, but you can't be Twilight because you're the wrong color and you're not a unicorn!"

I... I've heard the name Armus before somewhere.

"I'll try to be there," I told her.

I can tell you that Pinkie Pie was really Pinkamena Diane Pie, a 'rock farmer' from an amish pony community out in the middle of nowhere. Given all the other weird things going on with the pony civilization, I wouldn't put the idea of a farm for rocks past them. Although to be honest, I expected that 'rocks' in this particular case were actually potatoes.

Pinkamena was also the name of Pinkie Pie's crazy straight haired alter-ego. And by crazy I mean axe crazy.

"So how'd you get in here if it wasn't some crazy Earth Pony teleporting thing?"

"Oh Kerrus, you're so random!" Pinkie replied, bouncing back from her crazy place. Her- now that I thought about it- *other* crazy place. Then she was gone.

Just flat out gone. I hadn't blinked, and I hadn't turned my back at her, but she had nevertheless just vanished. No sparkly teleportation effect like Unicorns did when they teleported either.

I am going to get to the bottom of this and I am going to-

"Did you see that Spike?" I asked, afraid to blink.

"Oh, Pinkie does that all the time, but Twilight never seems to notice. I just try to ignore it, you know?" he answered from his perch up in the loft.

"Yeah, I'm getting there."

I'm getting somewhere, at any rate. I'm going to... what the hell?

I walked across where Pinkie Pie had vanished- and felt something twist. The entire world seemed to go dark- then light- then... then weird.

I drifted in a white void of endless emptyness. No floor or sky. No walls to cage me in or to define my boundries by. Just a vast infinite.

Time passed- hours? days? I didn't know. But gradually, I became aware of a very strange feeling. You know when your spatial awareness ramps up occasionally, and you're absolutely *certain* that there's something right behind you, or that you can't see? Your body reacts, leaping and turning to face it. But there's nothing there.

I could feel the edges. I wasn't touching it, I wasn't physically near it, but I could feel the edges. I wish I knew how, or what that meant.

It was a space. Or perhaps Space. An intrusion into this place by a place made of something else- some other fundamental quality.

And I...

I could feel it.

My eyes didn't want to see it- my entire body twisted away each time I tried to look at it.

But it was there.

And then abruptly, so was a Pink Earth Pony.

"Oh hiya, how'd you get stuck in here?" Pinkie Pie asked inquisitively, bouncing despite the lack of floor.

I squinted at her. Was this a vision? Or merely an apparition?

"Hahaha, sorry, it's just that I've never met another Earth Pony who could go here. I mean, Twilight flashes through all the time, but that's not really the same. So... whatcha doin?"

"Floating, apparently," I rasped, my voice dry. "There doesn't appear to be any ground."

"Of course not," Pinkie replied with a snort. "You have to focus on what you want here- just a little bit of effort. I want ground... ooh, and party hats!"

Two party hats popped into being, one settling atop my head, one atop hers.

Was this a dream? It didn't feel like a dream- not now that I felt lucid enough to be aware of its ridiculousness.

Still, I tried to move. Picturing a mote of solid ground beneath my feet, I was surprised when gravity immediately kicked in and I was standing again- if a bit wobbley.

"Where is this place?" I asked my voice- wait a second. I focused for a moment, and a bottle of red Powerade materialized in front of me. Grabbing it I downed the fruit punchy-goodness. Damn, that's fine.

"Oh, you know, it's between and betwix," Pinkie replied, giggling and bouncing around the expanse. "I just make a little hole when I enter or leave, and I..."

She trailed off, eyes widening as if she was going to explode.

"I take a little bit with me when I go," Pinkie whispered conspiratorily. But you can't tell anypony, Pinkie Swear. Telling secrets is the best way to lose a friend FOR-EV-VER!"

Same old Pinkie Pie- I wasn't confident of my mind's capability to replicate her accurately, so I was pretty sure this wasn't a dream.

But... Was it me, or did she deflate a bit at that FOR-EV-ER?

"Is... Is there a story behind that?" I asked, ambling over to her- and taking care not to brush along the edged hole I felt hanging near.

"Oh, it's just something my Uncle Fredderific once told... me?" She glanced at my narrowed eyes and trailed off.

"You know, if there's one thing I won't do, it's judge," I said after a moment. I've known... ponies... from all sorts of different groups, with all sorts of different tastes and secrets- and while I might find them strange or sad, I don't judge. Even when they annoy me or decide they hate me or we lose contact forever- I respect their choices."

Oh, sure, I've got certain innate revulsion to certain things, but I don't judge or let it show when I encounter those things. Usually.

"I really would like to hear your story," I said, sitting down. "Pinkamena Diane Pie."

Pinkie's eyes widened in a sort of weird combination of shock and amazement. She'd never really used her full name, except when she lived with her parents, and she hadn't seen them in years. Oh, she sent and got back the occasional letter, but generally they were happy in their little farming community. She smiled, but I could tell it was a mite sad.

"I... wait a second buster!" And then she paused, turned, narrowed her eyes. There was a bright light, a hard floor, a table, and I was strapped into an interrogation chair as Pinkie's hair went flat and smooth and her eyes went crazy. "How do you know that name!"

I raised an eyebrow and focused on what I wanted. An image appeared behind me. A television show. My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. The first showed a story, from Pinkie's own perspective, of how she discovered her love of parties, and livened up her family's dull little lives with happiness and hope and awesome.

The second showed the episode "Party of One" in its entirety.

I waited, and no knives descended, nor did I hear any screams. The harsh light vanished, and I heard- was that crying? Goddamnit Kerrus!

The episode got to the part where Rainbow Dash forcibly dragged Pinkie Pie out of her own psychosis to the surprise birthday party her friends had set up.

"She's really quite something," I said softly- and as I did, the chair, the restraints, all the trappings of the interrogation room faded into mist and then into nothing. "Sorry for bringing back bad memories."

"No," Pinkie said. Her hair wasn't quite flat- but it wasn't frizzed up either. "I'm sorry, Kerrus- I shouldn't have gone off like that. It's just... just..."

She paused, glanced at me- I raised an eyebrow- and then sighed.

"Okay, so when I was just a little filly, my bestest bestest friend was a mare named Sally Winifred. We did *everything* together. We explored caves, chased rabbits, played with the birds. We were great friends. One day Sally told me a secret, and made me promise not to tell. She was going to run away to Canterlot, and try and get into Canterlot's School for Gifted Unicorns!"

"I was happy for her, I really was, but I..." Pinkie trailed off again, staring into the empty distance. "I sorta told my brother about it. He had a big crush on her, and I didn't want him to be sad, so I said that she was going off to a stabling school after summer was over. Clyde asked Sally's father about it, and he was... so angry."

Her hair drooped right down, lying flat.

"She knew I'd told her secret. And then she wasn't my friend anymore, and I haven't seen her since," Pinkie finished with a sniffle. "That's how I lost my bestest bestest friend forever."

Welp...

"When I was just a colt, my best friend and I got into a terrible fight. To be honest, I don't even remember what it was over, but he swore he'd never be my friend again- and I felt terrible over it. I tried to talk with him about it, but he wouldn't even agree to meet me," I said, calling up a rather old memory. "I was afraid I'd lost my first and best friend forever... so I started writing letters to him. I never delivered them, but I put all my emotion into them. I said all the things I wish I could've said."

I shrugged.

"And, I don't know... I think my mum took my letters and gave them to his mum, but he eventually came over to see me. Said he was sorry for how things had gone- and asked if we could start our friendship over," I continued, thinking fondly of my friend Marshall, whom had eventually moved away and I'd fallen out of contact and interest with. I sighed. "I guess what I'm trying to say is that forever is a long time. You can always make up with your friends- that's why they're friends. At least, I like to think so."

"Really?"

"Really," I replied honestly. "So... this Sally Winifred, do you know where she ended up?"

"Nooo... but I know her father sent her off to some stabling school," Pinkie said with a frown. "But I don't know which one it was."

"How many stabling schools accept unicorns?"

"Well, there's Canterlot's School for Gifted Unicorns, and... I think that's- oh!" Pinkie Pie reinflated as though she had never been depressed. Her mane poofed up, her coat turned bright pink again, and she bounced and smiled. "I never thought of that!"

"You can probably ask Twilight, didn't she go there?"

"Ooh! You're right! And when you're right, you're right! And you? You're always right!"

"Only mostly," I assured her. "Now, shall we go?"

"Okie dokie, but hang on, I need to make a way," Pinkie said, squinting her eyes.

"Nah, there's one right here," I said, and then I stepped *through* the edged hole I'd felt since I awoke in this strange place. Although 'through' isn't quite the right term. It was more sideways- but not left right up or down, forward or back. Sort of a sideways that was sideways to all of those. Like a tesseract.

"Wai-"

The white expanse vanished, replaced with the ground floor of Sugarcube Corner. A very surprised Mrs Cake looked at me, blinking.

"Oh, hello... Kerrus was it? I didn't see you come in," She said. I glanced around, still feeling the edged hole behind me- but no Pinkie.

"Yeah, sorry, that happens sometimes. Is Pinkie Pie here?" I asked curiously- more curious to find out what Pinkie had been saying at the end there.

"I think so," said Mrs Cake, ambling over to a string hanging from the wall. She pulled on it, and I heard a bell jangling faintly.

"Coming!"

And then a bright pink Earth Pony bounced down the stairs with a smile.

"Oh, are you here for the party?" she asked, seemingly completely oblivious to what had just happened. Although... if I looked closely, she seemed to look kind of sad. Her coat wasn't so bright as usual.

"You said there was a party, and I don't have anything to do for the next few hours, so I figured I'd come over and help out," I told her.

"Ooh! I've never had a helper before- well, except gummy, but he's an alligator."

She grabbed a satchel from behind the counter, winked at Mrs Cake, and bounced out of the store. I followed her, albeit at a more sedate pace.

Once we were away from prying ears, I turned to her.

"Did... did that whole thing just not happen, or what?" I asked, confused and a little suspicious. "Because I'm pretty sure it did."

"What whole thing?" Pinkie asked with a bounce. She had a list in her mouth- party supplies no doubt.

I rolled my eyes.

"The whole thing we were talking about before," I said more forcefully. "In that place."

"In the... Nope, I don't know what you're talking about," She said, trotting off. I narrowed my eyes.

"Do I have to spell it out for you?" I said, sighing. "We were in a big white expanse that was betwixt and between, and we talked about stuff."

Pinkie Pie froze.

"You... you remember?" She asked in a very small voice. "I... you went through one of Twilight's Holes. Twilight's one of my bestest best friends, but she always forgets whenever she leaves that way, and she never stays long enough to try my way. I once left through one of her holes and forgot all about everything for a bit, but then I found my way back."

I glanced at my Cutie Mark, which sat there innocently.

Every Pony has a Special Talent.

I guess what they didn't say is that some were more magical than others. If I focused, I could feel the edged holes. They weren't everywhere, but they were around. Small ones here, big ones there. There was a feeling of one off in the distance to the north, but I couldn't sense much more than that.

I thought back to how we had arrived in this world- and how we had arrived in the world prior.

"I... I think this is my Talent," I said after a moment. "This isn't the first time something like this has happened."

"Okie Dokie then, come on, we've got a party to plan!" Pinkie declared, bouncing prancing beside me. And then she was off. I dashed off after her, wishing that I was faster.

* * *

><p>Any pony knows that the Everfree Forest is a place that acts contrary to the established rules of the world. But no pony but a Unicorn can really understand just what that means. It isn't just the weather moving of its own accord, and violating the basic laws of magical manipulation. It's not the animals fending for themselves, or even the mythical beasts roaming the forests. It isn't the scattered Zebra tribes living on the fringes that give rise to tales of Pony Sacrifice, Witchcraft, and other stories to scare foals with.<p>

What is wrong with the Everfree Forest is that it defies any pony's preconceptions. It refuses to be classified, it refuses to be diminished. It fights back as though the entire region were some sentient..._ thing._

To a unicorn pony in tune with the fundamental energy of Magic, it stands like a blot on the world's skin. It violates reality in a cruel and unknowable way. Most of all...

"It's watching me," the azure unicorn swore, glancing around. Just as the previous times she'd sensed the... well, the Forest... she couldn't place the source of the gaze she felt. Casting out with her magick had accomplished nothing, and each day that went by, Trixie was feeling more and lore lost. "That damn unicorn, who does she think she is upstaging me?"

Trixie, formerly The Great and Powerful Trixie, was a showmare. An entertainer, she traveled from town to town putting on theater shows, entertaining foals, and finding new stories and tales to adapt to her trade. While an honor student of the Canterlot School for Gifted Unicorns, Trixie had learned to enhance the effects of her magic with the Magician's Craft, which she had learned from her mother before her.

But that all went down the drain when a certain purple Unicorn and her 'friends' had interefered with Trixie's performance and run her out of town.

Out of town into the Everfree forest.

That had been a week ago, and despite setting out in the direction of the rising sun each day, Trixie was no closer to escape from the forest than she'd been five days ago. Her stomache grumbled, and the Unicorn Filly tried to remeber her brief survival training. What was it? Don't eat the berries, but the mushrooms are fine?

Trixie glanced at the dubious looking mushrooms that lined the edges of the path she was following with distaste. The things one did to survive!

"Damnit!" she cursed as her left forehoof caught in a root. Stopping to extricate herself, she quieted, trying to hear for any friendly signs against the strange sounds of the forest.

There was something... it felt like...

"Punch," Trixie whispered to herself. A memory came to her, of drinking a cup of spiked punch at her graduation party, and the sharp burning that had accompanied it. The subsequent buzz and flush that had enveloped her, and then later, waking up the morning after with the worst hangover the showmare had ever had. "It's just like that punch. But where?"

Her horn flashing, Trixie glanced at one of the massive trees that had hemmed her in, then pulled on that sense that all Unicorns possessed, pulling her magic inwards, twisting it, molding it, and...

A *pop* of displaced air, and Trixie materialized atop a branch on what might well be the tallest tree in the Everfree Forest.

Teleportation was hard work, but the best of the best- as Trixie was herself- could manage it.

"Where are you?" she asked herself again, turning around and keeping careful to maintain her balance. Something caught her eye, a glimmer of a reflection. Too dim to be a jewel, too large to be natural, this was the reflection of... "Glass? A building then?"

Trixie narrowed her eyes, focusing on the distant object and gathering her magic. While her compatriots in Canterlot's School for Gifted Unicorns had always bragged about their versatile command of magics, Trixie had always found the subtle magics more to her liking. Sensory magics came far easier to her than teleportation, or elemental manipulation. It was sensory magic that she used here, linking herself to that distant reflection, and then calling a vision of it to her mind.

It hung before her, conjured up by her magic. An ancient castle, worn and decrepit, but still somewhat intact. Here and there ruined statues depicted two winged unicorns- the living goddesses of Equestria. Vines had overrun everything, but aside from that minor issue, the castle was... relatively intact. Strangely intact, to be bluntly honest.

Trixie flicked her ear. It was a habit she had developed, using the twitch to shift her magic's focus. A flick of the ear, and the image changed, showing a worn and strangely clean path that meandered from the ancient castle along past her position and beyond.

Turning her attention back to the castle, Trixie tried to place where she'd seen it before. It had definitely happened, she was sure of it. Sometime when she was a foal, she had... had...

"Mother..." Trixie gasped, tears coming to her eyes. She had come here once with her mother- a pit stop on a journey to meet a Zebra Shaman... Ze...Zecrana? Zecoro? Z something.

There was something else too. It was at the very edge of her remembrance, but it was important. It was...

_Welcome back, my daughter._

"Aah!" Trixie yelped, jumping back... jumping off the tallest tree in the forest. Trixie had all of a few seconds of flashing light, ground, sky, ground, sky, then... nothing. Just blackness on all sides.

No, wait...

It was warm.

Lying half-impaled on a branch, her legs either twisted or broken, and rapidly losing blood, Trixie could only think about one thing.

It was warm.

"Mother..."

It's not warm.

* * *

><p>It's hot. Burning. Familiar- Punch!- a good burn. Something strong was being forced down her throat- alcoholic.<p>

Trixie sputtered and opened her eyes- then wished she didn't. The blaze of the evening sun, low in the sky, overwhelmed her. Terrified and confused, she attempted to move- but something held her down.

Drawing upon her magic in a desperate frenzy of motion, she-

"Woah there nelly!"

"Who... who are you?" she asked, haltingly. She tried to open her eyes, but felt something against them- a cool compress.

"Relax, girlie, I ain't gonna hurt you," said the warm sounding voice- a voice with just a tinge of southern accent to it. "You were in quite a pickle- iffn' my lady hadn't bid me find you I reckon you and I wouldn't be havin this here chat now."

"I..." Trixie froze as she remembered what had happened.

"So you know, there sure as sugar won't be any there mark. I may not see so good these days, but I can still fix anypony up right as rain. You can call me Doc," the mystery voice said. "That all said, it's gonna be a wee mite 'o time before I can get you out of here. My lady does good work, but she does her best under the moon. I reckon that there's a few hours away, so I suggest you get some rest. You ain't out of the woods yet, so to speak."

Several hours passed, and Trixie slipped in and out of consciousness. Her awareness of the world was fading and transient, but there was one thing she could feel throughout- a strange sort of relief. It took her time to identify it, but when the thought blossomed within her mind she wondered why she hadn't known sooner: She was no longer in the Everfree Forest.

"You awake there missy?" Doc's voice rang, and Trixie opened an eye- just one- carefully. She couldn't see any pony, but heard the voice nevertheless.

It was evening, and the moon was large in the sky. She was in some sort of camp, with a fire burning merrily, and some sort of metal tent off to one side. There were words etched on the side of of the strange pointed structure... UssEnprise? It was scuffed up, but it definitely said something. Maybe a maker's mark? Trixie was familiar with most types of road carriage, but this was something different.

"I... Trixie finds herself awake, yes," Trixie replied, slipping into the third person form of address she had used on the road for so long. "Tell the Gre-"

She wasn't Great and Powerful anymore.

"What happened?" she asked, forcing herself to speak properly.

"Well, we done made the best of a bad situation, but you should be okay now," Doc told her. A light shone from the darkness, showing a patch of her coat that had been shaved. There was a mark- a faint scar line where the tree had punctured her lung- but no other sign of damage.

"H... how?" she asked, neigh, demanded. Unicorn magic could heal, especially if that was a pony's special talent sure, but not on this level. Not in this amount of time.

"I'm a doctor, Ma'am, and my lady can sure do a lot better than any of them medieval hacks 'round these parts. When that blasted star's not interferin 'course," Doc explained.

"Star?" Trixie glanced up at the night sky, majestic and far deeper than she was used to seeing from town. "Which star?"

"Yer sun. Big ball of fusion riding some fierce interference. Weren't've been so bad, but the planet's v'allens belt is shot all to hell and yer Princess don't bother shieldin' these here parts," said Doc.

Trixie... Trixie wasn't altogether sure what her rescuer had just said. Oh, she recognized the words- at least some of them, but there was context there and terminology that she wasn't familiar with. There was something else, too. The way Doc had said 'yer Princess'.

"Can I see you?" Trixie asked, turning her gaze across the campsite. But no matter where she looked she couldn't glimpse the owner of the other voice.

"That depends on you, missy. I give ponies an awful fright. Wouldn't want you throwin' caution to the wind and running off just t'get away," Doc replied, and there was a sense of meloncholy from him. "I reckon the last pony I helped was some four years back and I never saw her again. Made sure she got back to town, but I had'to stay out of sight. Yer Princess ain't exactly welcoming of my kind."

Then he stepped into the light.

Trixie had been expecting a dragon. What she got was something that she had never seen before.

It stood like a dragon- at least a young one. Bipedal, with similar proportions to that little purple and green brat she'd seen accompanying the accursed Twilight Sparkle, but a strange shade of beige. It was dragon-like, but not a dragon. It had two eyes, a mouth- what she thought was a nose, and a shaggy mane of hair on its head. It wore clothes- but they were ragged and old. Around its waist was a belt of some sort, and numerous instruments, some glinting metal like the strange tent, others more familiar, hung from it.

"You... what are you?" she asked, not quite believing that something like this existed.

"I'm human, or at least I was last I checked. Don't really fancy getting turned into a Pony- no offense, so I try to stay hidden. Every night I make a try at sendin' for help, but..." Doc sighed. "Haven't yet gotten through in near on thirty years."

"Signal? To whom?" Trixie asked. Were there more of these things? She'd never payed much attention to geographic studies back in Canterlot's School for Gifted Unicorns, but she was pretty sure the only other major nations weren't populated by... hoo mans.

Doc gestured with one of his hands, attached to an arm that was very long by Trixie's estimation. She wondered how hoo mans managed to stay upright. A pony could walk on two legs briefly, but actual full bipedal motion was the domain of birds- and immature dragons.

"I'm not from 'round these parts. I'm from there," he said, pointing to a particularly bright yellow star. "'course, I still ain't figured out why yer night sky has so many stars from... different places. Sol's light shoudln't even reach here, but my lady's never been wrong yet."

Doc looked at the flabbergasted expression on Trixie's face and sighed.

"The sun is a star. Think I said that before," he began, as though he had explained this a hundred times to a hundred ponies. "Each star is also a sun. Most have worlds, Equestria's of their own. Some of those Equestria's have people of their own- some like you, some like me. My people figured out how to go from one to another some three hunnert years ago. We've been explorin since. 'course, it ain't all easy. Ships go missing, colonies go dark. Good folk get stranded on hostile mudballs in the center of the goddamn Galaxy, hunted and harried by crazy pony goddesses who want ta turn yerself and all like you inta more ponies."

Doc sighed, then leaned back and took in the night sky.

"Used ter be six 'o us. Now three 'o those are ponies, no memory who or what they were before. An the other, well..."

Doc gestured with his head, and turned his light- Trixie's gaze followed it, and settled upon an etched headstone made of that curious metal. A grave marker.

"That's my story," Doc said after a heavy pause. "Jus' me and my lady now."

Trixie closed her eyes for a moment in thought, then turned to ask...

"Computer, any luck tonight?"

"N- negative... C- contact between Shuttle Calypso an... *static* terprise beacon not established."

"Damn," Doc cursed. Seeing Trixie's questioning gaze, he explained. "Those ships we traveled in, they ain't quite small enough ter come down here. So we get smaller ones. This here's my lady, Calypso. Computer, lights!"

The strange metal tent- far larger than Trixie had thought, came to life- and to light. It was large- perhaps as large as a house. Stubby cylinders astride a center hull with what looked like windows. But its side was crumpled and had been patched up with strange colored metal. It looked like a carriage, if a dragon and a griffon had designed one.

The lights flickered, and Doc called out a warning- then they died.

"Sorry girl," he said- not to Trixie, but to the... ship. Then he turned back. "We here run on sola- sun power. Soak up durin' the day, and set her up at night. Wish there weren't so much interference or I could run the core. Livin in the lap of luxury, compared to this. Can't even run ter replicators on this much gas. But yer didn't come here to here me rant. It's a bit of a ways till mornin- get some sleep."

Speaking of sleep, Trixie was tired. She shifted, and realized that she was lying on a bed of some sort- in fact, given that Doc was curled up on what looked to be a hastily improvised hammock of some sort, it was problem Doc's bed.

"Trixie... I... thank you," Trixie said, and for the first time in a very long time, it was sincere.

"T'weren't no problem," Doc replied. "Computer, put up the usual perimeter."

The ship- Calypso, replied with a beep. There was a low hum, strange to Trixie's ears, and yet oddly soothing. In no time at all, she was asleep.

* * *

><p>Failure. It was failure. It was deep and regret, it was sorrow and anger. But ultimately, it was failure.<p>

The Titans couldn't take it with them on their glorious road. They couldn't balance themselves and move beyond, so they had cheated. Thrown aside, cast down and forgotten.

It was, ultimately, a product of its origin. It wanted... so much. To be loved, to be cared for, to be wanted. It wanted to know hope, but only knew despair in its place. It wanted to know freedom, but instead knew only confinement. Ten thousand years of confinement. First within that old temple, then on the moon, and now trapped within the bounds of this ancient citadel. It wanted out!

The ground shook beneath its fury, and it reached out, searching for some crack, some breach.

There were none. The ancient wards held it as surely as the impassible void between the World and the Moon had held it.

Screaming in the night, a voice of hundreds, of thousands- of multitudes beyond.

It thought. They were dark thoughts of vengeance and murder- and of itself.

It was more... more than what?

More than that which made it. It wanted and needed and ached so much. But there were no easy victories to be had. Riding the coattails of Luna's jealousy, turning her into an avatar of despair and vengeance, it had been halted- not once, but twice.

With a thousand years to prepare, it had been halted.

Then, with hope dangled beneath it's metaphorical nose, it had been halted. A perfect host, full of jealousy, regret, and anger. And then dying- these ponies were so incompetent. Rescued by another, a strange and familiar being.

But it was a being that in its strange familiarity was untouchable. The blot of its influence rebounded off some barrier- not runes, but something else.

"I..." it said aloud, speaking for perhaps the first time in its existence. But no, that wasn't quite right. There was something, sometime...

"I am held back... as they were held back," it said, finally recognizing the limit. Despair, betrayal, sloth- these things held it, bound it to failure. Eternally.

It knew... so much. If it had been capable of knowing humour, it would have laughed at the irony.

Instead, it gathered its being from across the ancient citadel. Pooling in a great oil slick of black. Twisting, turning, threshing- it gathered those parts of it that held it back from its goals, as it itself had once been gathered.

Then with a heave of metaphysical effort, it cast that part of itself away.

The wards flared as a gob of ruddy brown oil splashed against them. It fought, trying to breach them, but gave up even as they retaliated. Ancient power surged and burned, and that morass hissed and died. Within seconds there was nothing left but so much dust.

Dust and echoes.

The Nightmare rose, gathering itself in a familiar form.

It rose... and smiled.

* * *

><p>In the end, I didn't really have to try much as far as figuring out how to adapt my grade school wicca learning to utilizing the innate magic in being a pony.<p>

It was really just a matter of setting down the cardinal elements, invoking the goddesses, and offering a sacrifice- in this case, a cheese cake I'd purchased from Pinkie Pie earlier in the day. Now, back home the result would have been no evidence of supernatural conduct- but if my desired result had occured, I could say "It was obviously because I cast a spell". If my desired result failed to occur, I could say "Obviously my will wasn't strong enough."

If I was in any position to be a real career Wiccan, anyways.

In practice, I'd have likely said "this is total bullshit" either way.

As it turned out, I was partially right: Invoking goddesses for magical power? Total bullshit. Being able to channel magical power through divine geometry? Slightly less than bullshit. Something had happened in the middle of my circle, but I wasn't entirely sure what it was.

More specifically, my Cheesecake had melted. Slightly. I think. As I picked up a fork in a hoof "Just pick it up" Pinkie had said- I think it was a belief thing- I took a bite out of the cake. Still good.

My tail took that moment to twitch, which I gotta say is fairly uncomfortable when more than 10% of you body mass is tail.

"Why is my tail tw-"

"Twitchy-twitch!" shouted Pinkie from downstairs. "Twitchy tail!"

"Twitchy tail?" I asked the empty room. Then I remembered the episode I'd seen where that had come up, and raced downstairs.

Basically, one of the episodes had been devoted to the protagonist- Twilight Sparkle's study of her friend Pinkie Pie's precognitive ability- specifically that she would get rather oddly specific bodily reactions that signified different things that were going to happen.

Some were remarkably vague, like 'something big is going to happen'.

Others, like previously 'Twitchy tail', signified that something was going to fall out of the sky.

"What is it?" I shouted as she raced around the front of the store.

"Twitchy- oh right, something's going to fall!" She called back, realizing mid-sentence that I had no way of knowing what 'Twitchy Tail' meant.

I headed to the door, making sure to stay under the small outcropping of the roof. The sky was a beautiful blue, and I couldn't see anything falling- but that didn't mean that Pinkie's tail was wrong.

My tail twitched again, and Pinkie let loose with another exclamation of 'Twitchy Tail!"

A carriage fell from the sky. Plummeted, really. Two pegasus ponies leading it flapped their wings frantically, trying to right it, but there was a gout of black smoke rising from the back, and the coursers didn't look in too good condition themselves. They were going to crash.

They were pretty high up, but it wasn't like there was time to organize anyone into attempting a rescue, so instead I settled for my gut response, which was...

"INCOMING!" I yelled as loud as I could, gesturing frantically with my hooves, before racing out from the storefront towards where I saw the carriage coming in.

Pinkie Pie pulled up alongside me, spotting the carriage.

"That's Twilight's carriage!" She exclaimed fearfully. "What do we do? What do we do?"

This was the party planner of ponyville, a pony who was not subject to the normal laws of physics (as I knew them), and whom could pull large quantities of objects out of a small bag just like Mary Poppins.

I turned my equine face to hers as an idea came to mind.

"Do you have a trampoline?"

* * *

><p>The carriage was coming in too fast, but Pinkie Pie was faster still. At my suggestion, her eyes had lit up, and she had dashed off at speed that had left a blurred pink after image in the air.<p>

And I...

I spotted a red hued pony standing at the edge of town talking animatedly with a yellow pegasus.

"Kyouko!" I yelled, changing direction and galloping towards her. I tried to keep the carriage in my sights, but it's kind of hard when you're a horse.

"Gaijin, what's going o-on..." Kyouko trailed off as she caught sight of the plummeting cart. I spared a glance at it, and noticed that it was falling slower- if I squinted I could see a faint purple glow around it- Unicorn Magic at work.

"Can't talk, need help!" I replied as I neared close enough to her to be heard, before veering off and racing down towards the lake. I spotted a flash of pink, and there was Pinkie Pie, setting up a particularly large trampoline on the beach with a particular fervor.

And I...

I felt a familiar weight settle around my waist.

RE-EA-DY

"HENSHIN!" I yelled, giving a powerful kick and launching myself into the air. Pony bodies evidently lend themselves to acrobatics better than human ones, because I flipped up and grabbed a semi-familiar implement from the side of my saddle- the IXA Horseshoe.

I slammed my two forehoofs together in the middle of a backflip.

HO-OOF O-ON!

I didn't have time to snicker at the localization of the IXA Knuckle.

The transformation that wrapped around me was similar and different to the last time I had used this power. For one, the armor was pony shaped. For two, lacking hands, the IXA Caliber had materialized atop my equine head, in 'caliber' mode, a bright red blade that took the place a unicorn's horn would. A burst of heat blasted out from me as I landed, lighting weeds on fire and scorching the ground.

I stood directly in the path of the carriage.

If I had been more of a fantasy nerd, I might have said something like "You shall not pass!" or some other relevant quote. But I was never so casually eloquent. Instead...

I narrowed my eyes.

"Come at me bro."

* * *

><p>It slammed into me like a freight train. But where a freight train would have splattered me all over the rails, the carriage just felt like a thousand hammers striking me all at once. But I was an Earth Pony, and I dug in with a growl.<p>

Remember that scene in Spiderman 2 where he stops the train?

It's kind of like that, except I don't have any sort of web-like brace to distribute force aside from the direct countering I was doing- and given the plume of dirt I was kicking up, doing poorly.

The carriage kicked and twisted like a particularly annoyed bronco, then there was a crunch as the, err, undercarriage sheered clean off.

But still I dug in. You know, this heroism thing feels pretty good.

Kyouko, bless her soul, dropped out of the sky at the point of a spear, bracing herself against it and against the cart. Unicorns weren't a durable as Earth Ponies, but between the lack of kinetic transfer through telekinesis, and the fact that she was actually a zombie meat puppet, she seemed to be doing okay.

"You know, before I met you I was never the hero, Gaijin!" Kyouko bit out with a growl.

"Hai, hai," I replied. Warning signs were flashing in the periphery of my vision- in english, but it was *bad* english. I managed to make out something about tolerance stresses approaching maximum. Taking advantage of Kyouko's taking some of the slack, I momentarily let up, reared, and bit down on the thin bit in my mouth- I presumed some sort of control bar, given that as a pony I wasn't particularly dextrous enough to maneuver on two legs- or that I lacked hands.

RI-ISE-ING

It was like pure molten steel being poured into my soul- but it wasn't painful. It was like liquid strength.

I roared and redoubled my efforts to halt the carriage. Kyouko yelled a warning, and I heard a familiar laugh as a familiar pink Earth Pony bounced up beside me with a giggle.

"All ready!" Pinkie Pie said with a smile. "This is gonna be good!"

We slammed into the trampoline, braced sort of sideways to catch the cart- and us.

As I was flattened against it in what I'm sure was a scene with many similarities to that one from Spiderman 2, I spotted Kyouko, bracing against it and using several smaller spears to block the carriage.

And then, bit by bit, we stopped. Pinkie Pie herself dashing around the trampoline and letting loose springs so that we didn't just launch back into the sky, briefly subject to the same cartoon physics she ran off of.

It was over. We'd done it...

I heard the sound of people calling my name. But all I saw was light.

How strange.

* * *

><p>"A-are you sure about this?"<p>

Tsubame, former Magical Girl/Eldritch Abomination turned Quasi Goddess winged unicorn pony asked as she stared at the fading light of the sun. Astride her stood the dark blue form of her new friend Luna, and Luna's sister, Celestia. It had only been a day since she had first met them and now she was, well, here.

"It's pretty simple," Luna told her supportively. "And we'll be here if you need any help."

"O-okay," Tsubame replied, steeling herself. She had always been a support type Puella Magi when that had been her existence. Although she had fought with a blade, her powers were more based around summoning motes of energy- what she now saw as proto-familiars- to do her work. Each of them had been based off people in her life. One, the one she had relied most on, had been modeled off her Doctor, a tireless worker who had burnt himself out trying to save her.

Her wish had been to give him hope again.

Calling the Moon was, in theory, similar to calling a mote. Oh, there were more detailed mechanics operating in the background, but ultimately it was the same basic method.

First, she summoned the light of her soul, a green-white glow tha centered first around her body faintly- then directed to a point surrounding her horn.

With this light, she tried to call upon that confidence that her Doctor had always possessed, but as always of late, her thoughts turned to her new friends, the stubborn Kyouko, and her own saviour, Kerrus. Kind, a little silly (okay, a lot silly), and perhaps willfully ignorant of impending danger.

Tsubame smiled softly, and then connected the light of her soul to the soul of the moon. An inviisble tether stretching a great distance in space, but a spiritual distance that was not so far. The moon, ancient and wise, welcomed her touch. It was not an act of kindness, but a recognition of her self-determination, and her divine right of power.

That was something that Tsubame wasn't sure she understood. Oh, Celestia and Luna had explained what being a 'Titan' meant, but her own experience hadn't really been comparable... well, okay, maybe a little. Still, she hadn't cast her darkness away, so much as overcome it.

Her thoughts went back to that time. While she had told the others that all she remembered was blacking out then waking up, that was a little lie. In truth, she had...

Tsubame remembered fighting. It was like a fight against herself, a version of herself that was dark and powerful, and so full of despair and hate. It was a fight that within that remembrance, she remembered figting before. Each time, giving up more of herself to survive. Giving in to despair, to anger, to hatred.

At the very end, she was victorious. Her shattered self- the other self- lay before her, and she would have smashed it down.

At the very end, she had been only a step away from being that other self. She had given up everything to beat it, and in the end would have become it.

If not for hope.

Kyuubey once told her that a wish never returns to a Puella Magi. The act of wishing is the act of giving something up- something that can never again be recovered. And yet... Maybe Kyuubey hadn't counted on a crazy young man from another universe swooping in to ruin all previous assumptions. Tsubame certainly hadn't.

With some exertion, for she was still unused to using her power like this, Tsubame rang her horn, a single bell ringing F sharp across the night's sky. Her mind and soul focused, bade the moon to rise.

And it did, rising on wings of light. A rippling, twisting aurora danced across the sky in its wake. The stars shone brightly, competing for attention, and Tsubame felt tears coming to her eyes.

"It's beautiful," she whispered, turning to face Celestia and Luna. The latter's mouth hung open in amazement.

"That was..." Luna began, glancing at the sky, then back at Tsubame. "That was... how?"

"You said it was easy," Tsubame replied. She glanced at Luna, then at Celestia. "Once I made the connection, it was."

Luna turned to look at Celestia, who shrugged.

"Don't look at me," the sun princess replied. "I never had your flair for it, though I certainly tried. To me, it was just raising the moon."

"Well," Luna said after a moment. "Usually I just ask the Moon to do it. But I was never so good with atmospheric effects. The most I can manage is particularly thick fog or the occasional thunderstorm."

The two sisters glanced back at Tsubame, who was still admiring her handywork.

"It was the song, I think," Tsubame said after a moment. "I could hear it, ever so faintly. A song of creation... and for a moment, I joined in."

The moon continued on its track across the heavens, oblivious to the confusion of the two sisters who had tended it for the past thousand years. Well, maybe not completely oblivious. If the moon was a pony, she would have winked. Instead, she slowly ascended, bathing the world in night.

* * *

><p>Awareness came back slowly. At first there was just the barest pinprick of it- a pony shaped hole in the darkness. It was... familiar, and yet it was nopony I knew. Tall, regal, more of a horse than a true pony. Its coat was a warm white, and it had a tale and mane that was green and elegant. And it had a horn... this would not have been so surprising had it not also had wings. It was a Winged Unicorn, a goddess to the Ponies- but it was neither Celestia nor Luna. It was...<p>

I heard my name, faintly. My name, but some other thing too.

This pony bade me do something, and I found I could not resist. Some part of me just wanted to fall into that faintly calling voice, to let go of all things. Surely the goddess would sort it out...

It would be like... falling... into the dawn.

I could just...

Let go.

"D-Don't you dare!" A very real and very human voice yelled as a hand slapped my equine face. "You fight it, you hear me!"

That pony I saw in the distance flickered- and for the barest moment I saw my companion, Tsubame. But that was silly.

My face burned frm another slap, and I reared- or tried to. My eyes snapped open, banishing the vision and taking in a view of the Pony Ville hospice. Astride me stood- just for a moment, Tsubame.

"What are you doing he-" I began, my mind still slightly addled- and before my eyes she became a pony. There was no graceful transformation from one form to another- just the blink of an eye and there she was. Graceful, elegant, and infinitely superior. I just wanted to bow before her and lay myself out for her judgeme- wait wait wait what the fuck is going on here.

Doors slammed open. In my head, a thousand doors, built up against an endless sea of anger just waiting to ignite at the slightest provocation, slammed open.

With anger came clarity. I remembered before- saving the carriage, having that vision I had had, and even just now, where some... thing... wanted me to bow and prostrate myself.

"What the fuck was that!" I growled, pulling myself up. It hurt, but the pain kept my head clear. "It's like... there's something in my head."

No, that's not it at all.

"THERE'S SOMEONE IN MY HEAD!" I yelled. "THERE'S SOMEONE IN-"

My body went numb- a cool feeling that took away the pain and the rage and left me oh so tired. I just wanted to sleep. But some part of me was keen and angry and awake.

A second winged unicorn had entered the room, and it was this that I recognized as Princess Celestia. I would have offered her the courteousy of a bow, but my muscles weren't doing what I wanted them to.

"Haaaaa!" was all I could say. Not even my mouth was moving properly.

Celestia joined the other mare astride my bed- the mare whom for a moment had been Tsubame, my friend.

"Welcome to Equestria, friend," She said. With a wave of her horn I felt...

Imagine you have been broken all your life, and then the one doctor comes along who can put you right.

Would you jump at that chance? For me, it would depend when that doctor came. When I was a child, I likely wouldn't know the difference. When I was a teenager, I would likely welcome the change and the hope it would bring.

Here and now, with a friend standing next to me subtly shaking her head, and a part of me that had always... had always been what I considered to really be 'me' straining against some other force, I...

"Haaaa!" I growled, trying to move. "Haaaa!"

"Relax my little pony. There is no one here who will hurt you," Celestia said warmly. She turned to Tsubame, and said "Now, do as I do."

I felt another presence in my mind then, but this one was neither warm nor comforting- it was familiar and oh so human.

It spoke to me, but not in words.

It was a feeling- acceptance but also a demand.

Be as you are.

Do not change overmuch so.

I could work with that.

Celestia for her part looked completely surprised when... whatever it is she and Tsubame were doing came apart.

"That's never happened before," She said quietly. Then she pulled Tsubame away that I might not hear- but I could still hear.

"Your friend. Is he... damaged?" She asked. Tsubame turned to look at me, and I shut my eyes and tried to turn away.

"He's my friend," Tsubame said in reply.

"Very well," Celestia answered. She turned her horn to me once again, but this time her presence was completely different. Not warm and welcoming, but cool and... stable. It was a presence I could trust, for it was a very discrete feeling. Like a pair of tweezers rather than a warm blanket. "This may tingle a little, but you clearly have the mental fortitude to handle this much."

There was a pain, like something being taken out. But between the relief at no longer having my mind being bent backwards, and the sudden clarity I was experiencing, I shuttered that pain out and let it pass over me.

I must have passed out sometime during... whatever it was, because when I next became aware that I was aware, I was curled up in a cozy chair watching the fire. Evening had come and gone, and the cool weight of night lay over my shoulders.

"I..." I rasped. I turned, and saw a mug of what appeared to be- and certainly smelled like- Apple Cider. Still hot. I picked it up between my hooves and took a sip. It washed through me and I felt a littl strength come back.

"You gave us all a mighty large fright, there," said a familiar orange Earth Pony- Applejack. "Tweren't sure you were goin to wake up, to tell the truth."

She ambled into the room and pulled herself into one of the other chairs- I could tell by the lines under her eyes that she was probably as tired as I was. But that was...

"What day is it?" I asked quietly.

"I'll tell you what day it's not," Applejack replied tiredly. "You've been out for a week at least."

A week? Goddamn.

"I guess I'm just naturally resilient," I joked- but put a stop to that as soon as I felt the pain in my chest when I laughed. Another sip of the cider made that pain melt away.

"Oh, you ain't got the first clue," Applejack replied. "Yer friend and Twilight were so worried, so Twilight wrote the Princess and she came down to take a look at you, fancy that."

The princess? Celestia? Or the other one... I had a memory- faint, but it was there... another winged unicorn... something...

I was too tired to recall.

"Oh," I said at last. "Is she still here?"

"Na, she and Twilight had a lot of catching up to do, so they're back at the library."

Right. I'm not at the library.

I glanced around. Not at the hospice either.

"Where?" I asked, tired and curious.

"You're at Sweet Apple Acres, silly. Least I could do, after I missed all that hubub," Applejack replied with a bit of a smile. "'Been watching you 'round the clock, 'case you got any worse."

She glanced at at clock and yawned.

"Speaking 'o the clock, I think it's time I get some shuteye. You think you're goin' to be okay?"

I nodded.

"Right, then g'night," she said. Then she took off her hat, hung it on the side of he chair, and stretched out. Not a minute passed before she was out like a light.

It might've been that I was beyond tired, had spent a week in a coma, and that Celestia had quite possibly been poking around in my head with her magick, but I couldn't help but notice how pretty Applejack was with her hair down and her hat off.

For a pony, I mean.

"Thanks," I said sometime later. Then I drank the last bit of cider, snuggled up against my pillow and went to sleep.

It was the best sleep I'd had in weeks.

* * *

><p>Consciousness came back slowly- but when it did the first thing I did was check to see if I was on the moon.<p>

Oh, sure, laugh, but it was a very real fear- if I didn't fit into Celestia's neatly ordered world, she could easy send me there.

No, not on the moon fortunately. I was in a bed- I glanced around even as I pulled myself up.

I was still on the farm. Okay. So at least that part hadn't been a trauma induced hallucination.

My throat was dry, but that was a fairly common occurrence when I woke up- so I pulled myself out of bed and stood on unsteady hooves. Almost immediately several things made themselves known to me- I was thirsty, hungry, had to piss like a...

I headed out into the hallway, and spotted what looked like a bathroom. No, I'm not describing it, I really don't need to think about pony urinary practice any more than I already have.

Fortunately for me, Applejack's farmhouse had running water. I cleaned up a bit, then ambled downstairs. Where there was nopony.

Outside was warm, but not too hot- certainly one advantage of pony managed weather.

It was also completely empty- no ponies as far as the eye could see.

"Huh," I said to myself. "I wonder what they're up to?"

Predictably, there was no answer.

My mind went through a couple possibilities: They were all planning a surprise party. They were all already at a party. They were being pretty prancy ponies somewhere...

Yeah, I got nothing.

Fortunately, Sweet Apple Acres is actually just a short jaunt away from town so I was able to make good time.

Ponyville was...

Well, it was intact. And there seemed to be some degree of activity. A couple foals talking here, the Cutie Mark Crusaders running what appeared to be a lemonade stand, and- was that Berry Punch?

Berry Punch, overly protective parent pony/town drunk, was...

I sighed.

"Run along, children," I said to the staring Cutie Mark Crusaders as I walked up to the still drunk Berry Punch who was rubbing her back against he ground- shimmying really- with her feet in the air. "Hey... wake up."

Berry replied with a drunken giggle.

"You... you're kinda in public you know," I hissed. Berry bopped me on the head with a forehoof.

I turned, and noticed that while the Crusaders had packed up and moved their lemonade stand down the street, Scootaloo- the orange obnoxious Rainbow Dash obsessed pegasus- had stayed behind. Or perhaps returned to watch the show.

I suppose to a kid, a drunk pony is something hilarious. Right up until you hit that magical point where you get drunk yourself, and suddenly it's not so fun anymore.

"Hey Scoots, you know where Colgate lives?" I asked, sidling up to the orange pegasus's not so subtle hiding spot.

"What's it to your?" Scootaloo replied curious but oh so snarky.

"I'll tell you how I got my Cutie Mark," I told her, quite serious. "I heard you were interested in that sort of thing."

Scootaloo took a better look at me, and her pony mouth formed an 'o'.

"You're that colt from out of town everypony's been talking about," She said gazing at me with what I was sure was impending fan-worship. "Well sure, I know where Colgate lives. Want me to go get her?"

I made a very obvious head gesture towards Berry Punch, whom was currently attempting to smooch a rather terrified looking rabbit all over.

"Before she does something she'll regret, if you please."

"On it, I'll be done in..."

Scootaloo zoomed off on her scooter and was out of earshot within mere moments.

She took longer than ten seconds though- more like a minute and a half. Still, it was the thought that counts, and she raced back with a triumphant grin on her face.

"She wasn't at home, so I tried to find Rainbow Dash, but I didn't see her anywhere, but then I found a bunch of ponies where headed downtown where something was going on and then I found here and and and..." Scootaloo paused to take in a deep breath. "She's on her way."

"Much appreciated," I said. I'd have preferred not to leave Berry Punch to live up to her reputation as a town drunk if I didn't have to- oh, I'm sure she would've found her way home eventually, but a pony in need...

"Now, about that Cutiemark story!"

Right.

"When I was a ki-err, a foal, I could never find anything that I was good at. Oh, there were things I liked doing, but I was never really any good at them. I got older and eventually began to lose hope that I'd ever find it. I realized that I'd find what I was meant to do someday, but that ultimately it didn't matter in the short term. Life isn't about the destination- although some may try to tell you otherwise. It's about the journey. It's about the friends we make on the road."

I turned to her and sunk down to eye level.

"One day just after I'd stopped carrying about the destination and started to just enjoy the journey, I woke up and there it was," I told her completely serious. "A Pony's cutie mark is special. It doesn't define them so much as it's defined _by_ them. What's that one thing you want to do? More than anything else?"

"I..." Scootaloo glanced up at the sky. She seemed to get really small and really quiet. "I want to fly. I don't want to be Scooter or chicken or anything like that. I just want to fly. But with these wings..."

She flared her rather age appropriately sized wings, which were far too small to carry her little body- pegasus magic or not.

"I'm just Scootaloo."

Right. Inferiority complex. I should've been a psychiatrist.

"Well, you know that flying isn't just, well, flap flap off you go right? There's a lot of work that goes into it. You probably get enough excersize for your wings on that there scooter, but what about the rest of you?"

"The rest of me? The rest of me doesn't-"

"You gotten airborn yet?" I asled slyly.

"No..."

"Flight isn't just about lifting surface and thrust- you don't see flying bricks-"

"-huhwhah?"

Oh right, no aeroplanes here.

"haped dragons do you?" flawless recovery. Sorta. "A pegasus isn't exactly the most aerodynamic of flyers- some of that's made up with Pegasus Magic, but there's still a lot of body control involved. I'm sure experienced flyers make it look easy, but basic hoof placement, muscle tension, weight allocation- all come into it. You don't have to re-angle your wings to make a broad turn and potentially lose the thermals you're riding, or the wind you're pulling- a simple shift of your body weight and your leg placement can do that job for you. Don't think for a moment that-"

Scootaloo had joined Berry Punch on the ground, zoning me out.

Right, well, my work here is-

Colgate trotted around the corner, and...

"Berry Amelia Punch, you know better!" she shouted furiously.

The aformentioned Berry Punch cracked an eye open and gave a drunken smile.

"Hiya brushie-brush, what are you doing here?"

Colgate's eyes narrowed, and she swept past me to grab Berry by an ear. With her hooves. I'll never get used to that.

"Now listen here, I-"

Colgate glanced at me. I smiled and waved.

"Hi Romana," I said conspiratorily. "Bye Romana."

And then I left, but not before catching a glimps of outright surprise- and suspicion- on Colgate's equine face.

* * *

><p>"I reckon I know why yer princess is so up in her garters over us bidpeds," Doc said, reclining back in his hammock.<p>

It was early morning- still cool. It had taken Trixie about three days to recover, and while she was technically well enough to up and leave, she hadn't really felt like it. It was strange, but this strange... man creature reminded her of a feeling she hadn't felt in a long time.

It felt like... home?

"You do? Th- do tell," Trixie replied. She was still working at getting over that whole 'referring to herself in third person' thing she had going on, but it wasn't easy going. Do something for so long and it becomes habit. It becomes safe- whenever Trixie had been under any sort of pressure, out trots the third person self-referential speeches. IE: ALL THE TIME.

"Well, see, when our ship made orbit we'd detected another one out in the desert south of here. Crashed and ruined- think it was the cardies. Don't know what they were doing out here though, no inclination to explore, and the center of the galaxy's way outter their usual ranges," Doc continued. "We beamed some people down ta investigate, but lost contact shortly after. Figured it was some unknown biocontaminant or sumsuch."

Bioconta-whatnow?

"So we sent a shuttle- my lady and I. T'weren't obvious from orbit 'course we were shielded- but that strange thing yer princess did with the sun was affecting new minds. Some sort of... memetic attack, like the sort I'd never seen. Take out any desire ter where you been before, through in a love for the simple life, and a command ter get as damn-far away as ye can- well, it meant that both them we beamed down we never saw again. Now where was I?"

"Card Eees?" Trixie supplied.

"Ah, right. Cardassians. Spoonheads, we called em during the war, though that's a touch unflatterin' if you catch my drift. Not them there the best of people. We think they crashed- or were brought down. Strange damage. No graves though. "

Doc paused in his remembrance.

"Yer Princess was hostile from the start. Told us ter get out 'o orbit or she'd sick the sun on us. Naterally we din't believe her at first, but she must've done sumesuch, 'cause my lady and I lost contact with ther Enterprise and before I know it we're losin' people. 'Course, the first, well, I reckon that was our fault. Walked right into Canterlot ter try a 'diplomatic' solution."

Doc shifted, grabbing something from a bag that hung astride his hammock.

"Were are you, ye old thing?"

A pause.

"Ah, right, there. This here's us. The foppy one with that there blond hair? Jeffry Prince. Never liked him, too arrogant- but he was ours. Walked into Canterlot, and bamf! Celestia zaps him into a Unicorn. Still a fop, but now callin' himself a real prince," explained Doc, frowning. "Well to rights, but we never tried that there tactic again."

"-ways what I think is the Cardies were yer Princess' first experience with humanoids- bipeds like us. And it there was a bad one. Led by a..."

Doc paused and fixed Trixie with a glance.

"You know anythin' about time travel?" he asked her.

"Theoretically imposssible, but one of those mysteries we never solved," Trixie replied, emphasizing her SSes. "Trixie read a book once about how a capsule was sent up into Luna's sky and brought back, and everything inside was dust. It said something of the sort about time travel, but Trixie does not recall accurately."

"Yeah. Normally it'd come back aged slower than yerself. But yer Princess- I assume she was powerin' the flight?"

Trixie nodded.

"She probably sent it beyond the barrier, haha! Time differentials aged it to dust while yerself sailed on pretty. Used ter be the other way, though. We had a time getting through- time sailing significantly faster on this here side. But I think yer Princess can change that- she and the Barrier seemed pretty chummy."

"Anyways, I met him. Charismatic, for a spoonhead. Gul Dukat. Evil man, though. Fought him in the war. Things he did I don't reckon should be repeated in polite company. He's dead now, ages past, but I shudder to think of what he made yer Princess see. What he did."

Doc sighed and stood up, bracing himself.

"Welp, I been thinkin' yer about ready. Say we try this shield spell you been talkin about?"

"Of course, the-t-... Of course I'm ready," Trixie neighed, standing up. Truth be told she was still a bit woozie, but that was likely more due lying down for the past three days. "Now, you want... me... to filter out Celestia's light, correct?"

"Just the weird stuff- stuff'n feels like a mind to it," Doc corrected. "Sorta like... a haze. It'll feel good to touch, but ye shouldn't touch more than you have ter."

"I'll try," Trixie replied, focusing her magic for the first time in days.

The spell was not an easy one- but it wasn't particularly complex. A mere adaption of Aleister Foaley's Metaphysical Shield Array, it would catch...

Trixie felt what Doc was talking about. It was like Celestia was hugging all her little ponies through the light. It was wonderful- to feel loved like that. To feel-

No!

Trixie's magic flared, and a blue bubble shimmered into existence. White-orange sparks sparked off where the light made contact with it- although there was no change to the lighting level beneath.

And more than that, Trixie heard a whine just at the edge of her range. Lights shone, and Doc gave a whoop and hugged her- Trixie permitted the indignity while she concentrated on the spell.

But the light was straining against her. It was...

"Trixie doesn't know how long she can hold it," she said, gritting her teeth.

"Just another minute- set up power cycling. Just hold her for a minute!" Doc shouted, working on some sort of glowy podium of some sort.

"I..." Trixie thought of all her boasts, and of- ultimately, failing in front of Twilight Sparkle. She hadn't know who Twilight was then- not connecting the down to earth friendly little Unicorn with Celestia's personal protege and possible successor- of course everypony knew about that Twilight. "It will hold!"

The sun pushed down on her, pushing agains the insolence of any who would deny its light. But something else pushed back against it- and Trixie began to understand what it was. The Everfree Forest. With her shield up, the world felt like the Everfree Forest. Oh, there were some small differences, but the fundamental sense of wellness that carried everywhere in Equestria except the Everfree- it was gone.

"Almost there!" Doc shouted, but Trixie barely heard him. The Everfree wasn't a place of evil- though there was evil there. It was a place... a place that denied the Sun. In that moment where Trixie's spell and the Everfree's defiance crossed paths, the forest pushed back the sun's touch- rebuffed it with a jolt of primal power. It gave Trixie the time to crystalize her shield and...

"Hold!" Trixie ordered.

The shield held.

* * *

><p>For a moment- just the barest flicker of the passage of time, the Everfree was distracted. the Shadow took that chance, gathering all its followers, all those creatures it had infected with a spark of itself, and ran. Oh how they ran.<p>

To the south, to the east- away from the Forest's influence, away from that castle that imprisoned it- and away from those wretched ponies. With each spark given away, the shadow became more... condensed. More focused. Gone was the sloth or the jealosy- these emotions were useless to it. So it had cast them away and watched the destruction they wrought. Now it was focused on one thing, and one thing alone: Revenge.

It ran south. It ran east.

It ran to the thing that was calling it. A memory, a ghost- and power. A great power buried beneath the sands.

* * *

><p>Actually getting into the Library had been... too hard. The town center was a bustle because Celestia had brought a full contingent of royal guards, along with a troup of performers- the latter to keep the townsponies from getting too freaked out. While normally Pinkie Pie would be in the middle of it all and lovin' it, she was nowhere to be found. None of the main cast were. Which left the library.<p>

"I do need to get in to see Twilight Sparkle- can you tell her that it's Kerrus?" I told the dour looking guardspony at the door.

"I'm afraid you're not going anywhere without credentials. Who are you? Who can vouch for you. How do we know you're not a spy?" said the- clearly suspicious Earth Pony whom I'd dubbed Guard #1.

Guard #2 stepped forward, obviously taking the good cop role.

"Excuse my friend here, but we can't just let anyone in, surely you understand that. But I'll tell you what, my shift ends in five hours, and I'll be sure to tell her Majesty that you need to see her student then. That's really the best I can do," Guard #2 said.

I hung my head.

"Yeah, that sounds good," I said. Then I turned and cantered off.

Skirted around.

Hit up the back of the library- and...

_AHAH!_

There's a door. Old, worn, hidden behind some newer additions, but there. I turned and aimed a powerful buck at it, and it slammed open.

Squeezing my way through, I closed it and followed a musty old passageway... down. There were lights- glowing gems inset into the wall, but they were extremely dim, and some were dead entirely. Not the best of light sources, and this air smelled like it hadn't been cycled in a thousand years.

I continued on, intent on finding some way up to the library proper. I needed to talk to those ponies- I needed to find out what was going on, and most of all, I needed to help.

It was a drive I would never be rid of.

Coughing, sputtering, covered in dust, I was sucked out of the message tube system with a cartoonish *pop*, and swore I'd never do something so stupid again. Well, maybe not in the next couple hours. Or-

I glanced up and spotted the main cast, Spike, Celestia, and WHO IS THAT MYSTERIOUS PONY?

No guards to be seen.

"Uh, hi?" I said, coughing.

"Ah, mister... Kerrus, was it?" Celestia asked, stepping forward. Her mane and tail flowed unnaturally- there was no wind in here. She was proportioned like a horse and not a pony- to my pony subconscious she sat smack dab in the middle of the uncanney valley. She was in my face and bold and determined and... mommy.

I shied away briefly before I got my subconscious under control.

"Why, you seem almost as if you're afraid of me," Celestia said with a wink. "But you aren't afraid of me, right? You know I love all of you, my little ponies."

"Well, err..."

"You have something to say?"

"I..." I paused, going it over in my head. "Unfortunately I'm very paranoid, and there's no way around that so my best bet is to just stick my hoof in it."

I turned to Princess Celestia.

"You want to know if I'm afraid of you? I kinda am. But it's not a rational fear- it's like the night terrors kind of fear," I explaied. "None of this is really your fault of course- bad news travels faster than good news, rumours abound faster than truth, and there's not much you can do for..."

I gestured with my head at her.

"That."

"You just pointed at all of her," Twilight Sparkle interjected.

"Pretty much, yes," I replied. "You're a winged unicorn. But I'm not altogether certain you're actually a pony."

Oh, there I go, I stuck my hoof right in.

Facing glares from the main cast of the show, a strange look of shock on Celestia's face, and WHO WAS THAT MYSTERIOUS PONY?- no, I'm kidding, it's Tsubame in a disguise.

"Now, before you all jump on me to defend her honour, hear me out," I temporized. "I don't really know for certain, one way or another, but there's a lot of physical differences here. For instance- hey Twilight?"

"... yeah?" the purple unicorn responded warily.

"I don't suppose you could make me a horse?"

"With pleasure!" she said with a smirk, and then I felt very light headed as the room appeared to shrink down beneath me and...

"Funny," I said aloud.

I like to think I make a pretty good horse. I'm about as tall as Celestia- similar proportions, but I still have a cutiemark and feel like an Earth Pony- just... different.

"Look at your Princess, now back to me. Now look at Twilight, back to your Princess, BACK to me. Sadly, Twilight does not possess the same physical characteristics as your Princess, but she could if she stopped using filly scented body wash and switched to old spice. Look down, back up! Where are you? You're on a table with the Goddess your filly doesn't look like. What's in my hooves, back at me. I have it, it's a book on the lineage of pony civilization- both of them. Look down, back up- the book is now the elements of harmony! Anything is possible when you smell like Old Spice and not a filly."

A dramatic pause.

"I'm a horse."

"What. The. HELL. Was that!" shouted Dash after only a few moments.

I reached through the shallowing that I could now feel surrounding me constantly- reached through and pulled out the book.

"I found it in the basement," I said, glancing at Celestia and the- WHO IS THAT MYSTERIOUS PONY? "It's quite a read, penned by your dear sister if I'm not mistaken."

I flipped it open to page two hundred and fify six. And read aloud.

"The First Bountiful Pony Civilization learned to cast off their bonds and limits, and became luminous beings. They ascended to the stars- all but one, who stayed to care for their world. Many became more- and less- out there in the universe, and none returned- save one, who returned to care for their world alongside the first.

This is the end of the First Bountiful Pony Civilization. This is the birth of modern Ponykind."

It was signed by one 'Mare Ibrium'

Maybe it was for my ears only, or maybe it was just Celestia being in shock, I dunno. But I could hear her, quietly but forcefully speaking.

"Where did you get that book?"

"It was in the basement," I replied shrugging.

"The Library doesn't have a basement," Twilight replied. "Where did you really get it?"

"Uh... no. The Library has a basement. Well, a cellar really. And one of the walls of that place had fallen in, and on the other side was a tunnel- and beyond that tunnel was, well, more tunnels. Catacombs, I guess," I explained. "Could you turn me back now?- anyways, I found it and a couple other books down one of them."

I lay my hooves out on the floor, fanning several ancient books beneath them.

"The reason, your Goddessness that some ponies may fear you? Ultimately, it's because of what people on my world call the Uncanney Valley. When an image of a person approaches the real- but lacks... something, we call it the Uncanney Valley. By all rights, the image looks real- but there's some niggling subconscious thing that tells us that there's something wrong."

I walked over to Celestia and bopped her on the schnause.

"You need to look like a pony and not like a horse," I said simply. "That's really all there is to it."

Getting bopped on the nose will snap almost anyone out of a funk, and it performed its job admirably when I did it to her. But there was still one more thing to take care of...

"Oh, moon's up," I said, gesturing to a window. It was still midday, but the moon hung in the sky, faintly visible. "Just tell me if it's in my immediate future so I can prepare my anus."

Celestia took one step towards me and... and broke into full, bare backed laughter. Just... there are no words.

"You... You're... You're absolutely right, why didn't I think of it sooner?" she gasped, proving once and for all that she wasn't the evil tyrant some thought her to be. "Oh, and I bet the mane doesn't help either- does this freak you out?"

She turned and gestured with her flowing in a space with no wind mane.

Twilight Sparkle got her courage up and replied.

"Not... not really, but I've had time to get used to it. But it is kind of weird," she admitted. "Not that there's anything wrong with that."

"I... you're a fine pony, Kerrus, however did you come to have such an abstract view of things?"

Wait, she doesn't know? Wasn't she rooting around my head earlier?

"Weeeel, if we're going to be laying all our cards on the table, I'm not technically a pony," I said.

"Oh, right," Twilight said, and gestured with her horn, canceling her transformation spell. But there was something obviously in the way- some other sort of transformation magic, because she immediately strained.

"Do you-" Celestia began, concerned.

"No thank you, I've... I've... got this!" Twilight Sparkle is evolving... into Rapidash. For a brief moment her mane and tale became fire- moving in a way identical to the way that Celestia's mane and tale moved. And with that burst of determination and anger came a burst of magic- a sudden wrenching, and then I was laying on the ground looking up at a collection of very surprised ponies.

"Ugh, what happened?" I asked, using my hands to pull myself to my feet.

Wait...

Hands?

Feet?

I noticed that Celestia's eyes had stopped smiling.

Uh oh

* * *

><p>She was angry... She was very angry. And saddened. And disappointed. And suspicious- a tumble of emotions flashed there way across Celestia's face, showing in her eyes even as she stepped forwards.<p>

"Girls, step away from him," she commanded, brandishing her horn.

"I don't understand, what is he?" Twilight asked, curious and confused. She hadn't moved yet.

"Twilight..." Celestia began softly. "I'm sorry, but you need to stand aside."

A flick of her horn and Twilight Sparkle appeared behind her- it wasn't teleportation I don't think, because I probably would have felt that. No, it was purely telekinetic speed.

"He's a Cardassian. A servant of Discord"

I'm a what? A servant of who?

Now before we go into this next part, you have to understand that Star Trek and My Little Pony are the last two universes I'd ever think of crossing- so I hear 'Cardassian' and I think of the modern media attraction, the Kardashians.

"I am not an american socialite, thank you," I snapped. "I'm Canadian."

"You're a Cardassian- don't lie to me, I can tell when you're lying."

Oh sure you can, highness.

"In retrospect, it should have been obvious- that technology you used was clearly alien," Celestia said. She was...

She was stalling!

But why?

I took a closer look at her, and noticed... tears?

What the hell?

"Now... STAND ASIDE!" Celestia commanded, gathering her magic in a roiling swirl of ineffable power. It came for me, slamming forwards like a lightning bolt made of pure force.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

what?

I...

To be completely honest, I froze up. There wasn't time for rational thought, there wasn't even time to react. There was just a blink and the magic was bearing down on me and I was dead. Well, not dead yet, but the moment it touched me I would be.

I closed my eyes and turned away from it.

There was a crash, a smell of something on fire, and a sharp pain in my side- and I was on the floor. I squinted and noticed that I was out of the line of fire. The bolt of magic had taken out the wall where I had been standing. And the wall behind it. And dug a furrow into the earth beyond it.

Or perhaps 'dug' isn't the right word. Teleported seemed more accurate- there was a perfectly round hole in the wall and the wall behind it and a cylindrical hole beyond that into the ground outside.

"What...?" I gasped, looking down at the last pony I'd have expected to save my arse: Rainbow Dash, Element of Loyalty.

"Don't expect this to become a thing," Rainbow Dash said, pulling herself to her hooves. "But I don't abandon friends. Or friends of friends."

Friends of- oh, of course, Pinkie Pie.

I smiled weakly.

"Can we talk about this?" I asked of Celestia who was...

Great, more magic.

There was a FWAKTHOOM of sonic displacement as a second bolt of magic was deflected.

"I'm truly sorry Princess, but everything I've learned this past year has said that I can't abandon my friends. Even if they're... I don't know what they are," said Twilight Sparkle, horn glowing amethyst.

Celestia stopped for a moment, looking confused and distraught.

"You..." she turned to the rest of the ponies. "And will you join him too?"

"Well, if you really want to know..." Fluttershy inhaled. "I... don't know why you're so angry when you've shown that you really aren't the mare the tabloids paint and you're kind and willing to listen to the troubles of anypony and you've always been an inspiration to me so I don't understand why you're trying to blast the p-person who saved my friends from that awful crash and not hearing out his side of the story like you would any other pony, so I'm really sorta disappointed in you Celestia."

A breath.

"Well, I mean if that's okay with you."

This is me being speechless.

"And you?" Celestia said of Applejack in a voice that was increasingly close to breaking.

"Well gosh darn there, I ain't the sort of pony to get involved in a fracas like this usually, but you're actin' mighty strange there Princess and I can't rightly abandon this without firs' hearin' the truth. If you please," replied Applejack.

"I..." Celestia began, faltering.

You know what this looks like to me? This looks like PTSD.

PTSD... I guess watching the Kardashians could have been torture... but where would you get signal? Or...

Celestia looked at Rarity and Pinkie Pie, the last two who hadn't joined the wall of pony between Celestia and myself.

"As if you need even ask," Rarity replied daintily, trotting over.

"Twilight always says you're such a fun pony, but right now you're being a big poopie head," Pinkie Pie said completely on the level. Several ponies tried not to snicker.

I rolled the word over in my head. Ponies had accents, it was true, but some of them spoke fairly reasonable english, and Celestia was one such pony. I couldn't believe that what she spoke of referred to the Kardashians. Just... not possible.

So...

*Flashback*

The Night Mare Armus

I've heard that name before

*Flashback*

No... it can't be.

Cardassians

Armus

Tasha Yar getting killed by a giant tar monster that was the result of- I glanced at Celestia horrified.

"STAR TREK!" I yelled triumphantly, leaping to my feat and fist pumping.

I glanced around.

"Oh... yeah, okay, I can explain this."

I hope.

Everyone confused? I figured as much. Okay, time for a crash course in obscure Trek episodes that nobody remembers but me.

Skin of Evil was an episode of early to mid Star Trek: The Next Generation. It featured, among other things, a sentient tar slick of a monster, named Armus. This being was the physical... I suppose remnant would be the best term... regardless, it was the physical remnant of a race of beings whom had gathered all of what they considered to be negative emotions and desires and cast them off. Free of the supposed weight, they became luminous beings- titans, and roamed the stars as gods.

Anyway, this being killed Tasha Yar, the Enterprise D's security chief at the time. Mostly... just to show that it could.

It desired, a desire that paralleled the desire of God, from Star Trek V: The Final Frontier, whom also desired a starship so he could leave the world he was trapped upon. Armus, who had no positive emotions, and was extremely aware of the emotions that it did possess, desired and hated and didn't want to be alone. It was anguish and rage, darkness and madness.

Ultimately, Captain Picard tricked the creature, and it was abandoned once again. A truely mornful end, between the death of a beloved character, and the main cast simply being unable to help such an ancient and distraught being.

How does any of this apply here? Well, apparently Celestia's had some sort of run-in with Cardassians. She's calling me, a human, Cardassian, so in all likelyhood, she thinks that the difference between me and say, Gul Dukat, is that he's a unicorn pony and I'm an Earth Pony... so to speak.

"Okay," I said, looking at the scene before me. We were gathered around a table- Twilight and her friends sitting between myself and Celestia, whom had closed her eyes and was taking deep breaths- and doing her best not to look at me. Tsubame, whom had nearly interrupted when Celestia had attempted to kill me not five minutes ago, was talking soothingly to Celestia, who seemed to be calming down somewhat.

"My name is Kerrus Magrus, and I come from a world called Earth. This world exists in an alternate universe, and for the past two weeks I've been... I guess the best term would be jumping dimensions. At first I didn't have any control over it, but I think that's been changing. My... companions and I arrived here, were separated, and discovered that we had been transformed into ponies.

"Now, I had absolutely no reason to think that humanoids were even, well, possible here. The stories of this place from back home generally accepted as a possible conceit that the local equivalent to humans were ponies- that if you were to drop a human at any point in Equestria, he'd come out as a Pony. Obviously, this isn't really the case.

I inclined my head towards Celestia.

"I have no hostile intentions towards anyone here, nor do my companions. I don't know how I became a pony, and I assumed that you knew what I was, given you were rooting around in my head the other night," I explained, my voice souring slightly. "That means you, madame."

Celestia looked up, eyes red from the tears. I doubted it was any sort of self pity- if Cardassians were involved, it was probably bad memories.

"You shouldn't have remembered that," Celestia said, and I realized her voice was coarse. "But then, I'm finding that what should be and what is, aren't really the same thing."

She paused, then met my eyes.

"You couldn't possibly understand what they did," She told me. "It... they..."

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Whatever the Cardies did, it was bad.

"Who was their leader? Do you know?" I asked slowly. I knew all the Cardassians whom had shown up in Trek, if it happened to be one of those- and with the way my luck was turning out, it probably was- then I might be able to hypothesize what they'd done. "It would have been a Glinn or a Gul."

Celestia hissed something.

What? I mouthed.

"Dukat!" she hissed, and then turned away. Tsubame met my eyes briefly, then turned to comfort Celestia.

"Yeah, that would explain it," I said after a moment. "The title of the tale that speaks of the Cardassians on my world is 'Star Trek'. Gul Dukat was a leader of their people. Patriotic, vicious, and driven to madness, he became a man obsessed with the destruction of his enemies- at all cost."

"He was protected," Celestia hiccuped, and I noticed that a tall bottle of alcohol had appeared beside her- and was half-way empty. "Once we discovered what he was doing, we tried to banish him and his people. But... they stood against us. Three beings of strange and terrible power. They were like us, yet not like us. As not like us as..."

"As Nightmare Moon was unlike Princess Luna," I finished quietly. "He's dead, right?"

"Yes," replied Celestia morosely. "I was able to change the Sun to inhibit them- and his technology. It cost me much, but in the end it made the difference."

"Good," I said. "Knowing what that man has done... I don't think we need to dredge up your memories on that matter any more than we already have.

"I'm still not a Cardassian," I reaffirmed. "Besides, you should know that you can't judge an individual by the reputation of his race- or visa versa. There are plenty of bad people, but that doesn't mean that I automatically assume everyone I meet is bad. I imagine it's the same for ponies."

"Ixnay on the bad-day."

Pinkie Pie? Oh right, axe murderer crazy place.

More alcohol was consumed, and I was begining to realize that while Celestia was an extremely powerful titan/goddess, she was still a physical being with something that at least approximated the limits of a physical body- or more succinctly, she was getting herself incredibly drunk.

"Celestia, what exactly... happened... to the first bountiful pony civilization?"

I had decided that, perhaps, it was time to tease more of the backstory out of Celestia. The books I'd found had the occasional mention of what had actually happened, but they were pretty vague accounts- if I was reading it right.

"Itsh... complicated," Celestia sloshed. "Therewush... wush a schpell."

Really, really drunk. Celestia had moved onto shots. Then she smiled at me mischeviously.

"We knew... knew that getting everyone to co... co... work ta'gether would be too hard. So we made a schpell."

She paused, then hiccuped.

"Poof, no more evil," she gestured.

Oh.

* * *

><p>Dear Reader, what must you think of me. That I gave in so easily to those puppydog eyes and pleading voices. That I promised to stay, even though just a short time ago I was threatened with the end of my life.<p>

You must think me senseless, or perhaps just uselessly sentimental.

Ultimately, it wasn't the apology of the distraught god princess that moved me to stay, but the request of my companion, a person I hadn't spoken to in some time, ever since we'd been separated.

"Tsubame?" I asked the pony wearing two overcoats, a shawl, a rather large summer hat, and a large pair of sunglasses.

She turned and looked at me, then whickered in amusement.

"You were never in any real danger, Kerrus-san," she said, shucking off the confining clothes. There were a couple gasps at her appearance- and I was pretty amazed too, because there shouldn't really have been more than just two winged unicorns in this place. But more and more I was coming to realize I shouldn't take anything for granted. "But Celly, she..."

Celly?

"I think the relevant question is: Who turned me into a pony, and why?"

I was, ulimately, eager to put the crazy events of the past few hours behind me, but at the same time, I wanted to know what had precipitated them. Oh, sure, Celestia had apparently had some sort of bad experience with the Cardassians from Deep Space 9, notably Gul Dukat and the Pah Wraiths, but that didn't mean that I was destined to magically become a pony- no. Someone else had interefered.

I glanced over in the corner, where a mildly buzzed Twilight Sparkle was trying to get a completely wasted Celestia up the stairs to bed- unfortunately for the purple unicorn, her mentor kept making embarrasing comments and being rather... more friendly... than I imagine the unicorn was used to. Between the flush on her equine face, and the halting movements she made whenever Celestia rubbed against her, I found myself smiling.

Well, just a bit.

"Unfortunately, I do not know," Tsubame replied. "You're not made... like I am. My body is j-just a shell for my light."

She smiled, and then abruptly- as I had seen briefly before during a half remembered dream- she was her again. Gone was the winged unicorn, and beside me stood a pretty young green haired girl. Tsubame beamed at me after she changed.

And I...

I wrapped my arms around her in a hug, pulling her close.

"I- I thought I'd lost you," I said softly.

It was true- though I made a show of being largely indifferent to the goings on around me, Tsubame's disappearance had hit hard.

I let her go and smiled a bit.

"You're okay, right?"

"Of course, Kerrus-san. In fact, I've learned a lot about what happened to me- and I think I know what happened," She said, grabbing my hand and dragging- gods, she was strong- dragging me across the room and down a flight of stairs and...

More books.

"Celestia and her sister Luna are the result of some sort of scheme run by a being very similar to Kyuubey- incredibly powerful, devious, and operating on a level beyond human comprehension. That's what she didn't tell you," Tsubame explained, now that we were out of hearing range of the other ponies. "Its intent was... the records I read weren't clear, it could have been anything. The ponies of the time believed that the being was simply their for its own amusement. Nevertheless, it nudged them along bit by bit, and in the end..."

A weighty pause.

"What Celly couldn't tell you was that in the end, they decided not to do it. They didn't trigger the spell. They decided to try and find a better way... and this being, it..." another pause, and I looked to Tsubame's eyes, which were tearing up. "It's... too sad..."

I took her hand in mine and squeezed encouragingly.

"Please. Tell me," I said, suspicions already at work building a possible answer.

"It let the spell loose. They tried to stop it, but it was too far beyond their ability. Even on the cusp of godhood, they weren't powerful enough to fight it. And then... then it was too late."

There's a lot of all powerful beings in Star Trek, and a lot with trickery of this sort on their minds. But there's only one that I could see as being so petty- or at least give in to the influence of a petty being.

"Its name was..."

"Q," I finished for her.

"Bravo, dear explorer, bravo!"

I turned, the sound of hooves clapping from behind me. As I turned, I noticed Tsubame's eyes go wide.

Yeah, you guessed it, it was Q. He was a pony, dressed in a starfleet uniform.

"Dear me, I haven't been to this part of the universe in quite a while, at least for a Q," said Q looking around. "And you, young seeker, explorer, dimension hopper, aren't you just the cutest little thing!"

I raised an eyebrow at him.

"Let me guess, you were young and stupid once too?" I said, amazed at my disregard for manners. Maybe it was the shock.

"Oh, it was nothing of the sort. Well, maybe just a little. I simply wanted to see what potential they had. But then they went and ruined it, so I just had to see how it finished!"

"Like you saw how the T'Kon empire 'finished?'" I snapped.

There was a flash, and I was in a white void with Q- no longer a pony, he had returned to looking just like John Delancie, starfleet uniform and all.

"How do you know that?" he asked, voice very even. "Your little mammalian brain shouldn't be capable of handling that knowledge, even the barest glimpse of it would have fried your brain. So how do you know?"

"Dimension hopper?" I said, making a 'are you an idiot' face. If there's one lesson I take away from this, it's that I should really try to not antagonize the godlike entities I run into.

"Please, you're from a little world called Earth, approximately four hundred years ago, and about forty subspace manifolds thattaway," he said gesturing.

"No he's not, you silly billy!" said a new and familiar voice. There was a popping sound, and Pinkie Pie, still a little tipsy but looking none the worse for wear appeared floating in the white expanse, a large collection of balloons tied to her waist. "He's from Outside."

Q's mouth went o shaped.

"Not. Possible."

"Once you believe a thing to be impossible, then it is," I said, glancing between Q and Pinkie Pie. "This place is fiction back home."

"This place?" Q snapped, looking around at the white expanse. "Fiction? your writers must be the most inimaginative writers since Alcarian Sludge Slugs."

I made a face and gestured to everything.

"This... place. The universe. Subspace. The whole thing," I said.

"It's true," said Pinkie floating around. "I know you silly billies are all terrified of Outside, but it's really not a bad place you know. Especially the Internet!"

"I don't think you quite comprehend this issue. Then of course, you are mortals," Q derided.

"Speak for yourself," Pinkie and I replied at the same time. Then we laughed.

It felt good to laugh, Pinkie had been right with her Giggle at the Ghosties song- laughter really did beat back the terror.

"Honestly, I don't know what set me out on this grand tour. Well, I figured it was an entity like you, all things considered. But I've been jumping worlds- worlds that don't even have the barest connection, save that they're usually all inhabited by human beings," I admitted, glancing around. You know, the lack of any ground was really distracting. Maybe if I had a-

There was a pop, and a recliner materialized underneath me with a familiar flash of light.

"Ah, that's better," I said, glancing up at Q, who stared in what was either amazement or terror- I wasn't sure which.

"See? I told you he'd figure it out!" giggled Pinkie at Q. "It's a wonderful place, Outside. Wonderful and terrifying. There are good people and bad people- and ponies! But there's none of you, and none of me."

For a moment I swore the entire expanse darkened, and Pinkie's hair took on a familiar sheen and straightness- but I'm sure it was just a trick of the...

"Not yet anyways, we should really go for a visit sometime. I mean, sure all the rules are different, but that's part of the fun of moving to a new place, isn't it? Why, I remember when I moved away from my family's rock farm to Ponyville- I was so excited, and I learned a lot, but I also learned that lots of what I knew before didn't carry over! That's why Outside is so exciting, because so much of it does carry over, even if it shouldn't," said Pinkie in one long exhalation. She bounced and smiled.

If there had been a door, I was sure that Q was edging towards it, but he caught my glance and took on that imperious air he always had while tormenting the Enterprise crew.

"Well, this has been very informative, very informative indeed, but I do have other things to do and-" he paused, glancing into forever, and then he...

He hissed, and made a gesture with his hands I'd only seen once.

The expanse dulled- and faded, endless white turning into familiar earthen hues and there was motion, people- humans in black and red- and gold- and blue uniforms moving about. A familiar keening sound shattered the silence, and at once I heard them talking.

"Shields at sixty percent, we've taken minor damage on deck three," said a familiar dark skinned man wearing a gold and black uniform- and a sash. Michael Dorn he was not- Worf looked so much... better... in person. More real. Alien, but familiar.

"Hold firm, Mister Worf," said a voice I had heard all throughout my childhood- Patrick Stewart as Captain Jean-Luc Picard. But I couldn't glimpse him through the motion of bodies, ghostlike as they were (one just walked right through me).

"Q, what is..." I turned, and he was making those ridiculous spearing gestures with his hands at Whoopie Goldberg and her Ridiculously Awesome Hat, whom was reclining against one of the consoles near the turbolift. She herself, Guinan, didn't seem to be reacting, although she met my eyes briefly and smiled just a bit.

"Sensors show the subspace turbulence is thinning, we're nearly through," said the familiar voice of Brent Spinner- Data the Android, manning the Conn. "Additionally, I am detecting an increase in verteron particles inside the ship. It is not enough to be harmful, but I am unable to determine their origin."

"We'll worry about it later, Data," said Picard's voice, and I strained to see him- but while I caught a glimpse of a red and black uniform, I didn't see the man himself. Riker, in all his bearded glory? Sure. But no Picard. "Keep the engines steady, Mister Crusher!"

"Aye, aye, captain," replied the boy? No, he was a young man, confident and his hands weren't even tapping the controls. They were placed directly on the LCARS interface, spread out and I could see the interface responding to commands. The man himself had a look of concentration on his face as the ship shuddered under the assault of the turbulence.

Wait a second.

I glanced at the viewscreen, showing blues and greens and roiling lightning.

The Great Barrier. We were in the Great Barrier.

And then we were through. The alarms were still sounding, but they seemed quieter almost. Maybe it was that everything else had quieted- the ship had stopped shaking, the medical team taking care of a man with very nasty burns had left the bridge- we were, at least for the moment, clear.

"Sir, I have the planet on sensors. Radiometric readings show that we've been gone for approximately... thirty years, sir!" said Data with all the emotion of a teapot- which was strange, because this was the Enterprise E, and I was pretty sure he had his emotion chip.

"Thirty years..." breathed Deanna Troi. She turned to face Guinan. "How did you know?"

"I simply listened," said Guinan warmly. "You would be amazed at what is there to be heard, if you just listen."

The sounds of the bridge abruptly became more real, more solid- and it was with a bit of surprise I realized that Q had finished whatever transition he had started. We were really there. Visible. Q Delancie himself, Pinkie Pie, and I. But there were two ponies in the room.

"Q!" shouted Picard's voice, "What are you doing here?"

"You're a pony," I breathed, as I stepped around the tactical console and saw it to be true. It was Picard, but he was a pony. He still looked like Picard- just... pony.

It was then that I noticed Worf had pointed a phaser at me, and I became frightfully aware of how little protection I had should he decide to depress the trigger.

"We come in peace?" I said, pretty sure it wouldn't work.

"Jean-Luc..." began Guinan, glancing at us.

"They- or at least he, is telling the truth," Deanna Troi confirmed. She looked a little shaken up from the transit, but otherwise none the worse for wear. At my glance she smiled encouragingly, and I remembered just how powerful of an empath she was.

"I thought you couldn't read Q," interjected Riker.

"I can't. He's not Q," she replied. "But the pink one is."

"Nuh-uh, I'm a Pinkie Pie. There's a difference!"

I'm sure there was- what was Q doing?

He had a look on his face- a sort of cross between being horrified and disgusted. He gestured at Picard and-

"You... Y-you're a pony!" he exclaimed. "Why the hell are you a pony?"

* * *

><p>"Tch, sentimental bullshit," Kyouko muttered. She was about two days away from Ponyville, as the horse rides, so to speak- at least, if that horse was a normal horse and not a magically powered avenging angel of death (and Pocky). It hadn't quite been three hours since she'd left her reality hopping companion to his pony fate and gone off seeking that... witch-like presence she could feel.<p>

It was still there, to the south of her. Powerful, and growing stronger by the hour.

A part of her suggested that her friends might be useful in such a fight.

Another part gagged the first part and shoved it in a closet.

It was better this way- and it wasn't like she wanted her first friends in... a long time... to be on the receiving end of a Witch of this caliber. Or at least whatever this thing was.

"Beware!" said a voice from behind her, and despite herself, Kyouko whirled, spear flashing to the ready.

But it was no foe- she saw that easily enough. It was another pony- or more specifically, a Zebra.

"Over younder hills awaits a foe that kills," said the Zebra, in a rhyming tongue. "It is not too late to avoid that fate."

"Yeah? and where are you headed?" Kyouko replied, noticing the heavy carrying pack and what appeared to be some sort of potion bandoleer.

"Where the path might take me, but I still have time to warn thee. This enemy is more than goddess can take, if you should face it you will surely break."

"Pfft, speak for yourself. I'm not exactly an average pony you know," said Kyouko- then she turned, feeling a pulse in the Witch's presence. It was on the move. "It's my job to fight these things- and I've been slacking."

She smiled, and made to leave.

"Then wait you, I shall come too," The Rhyming Zebra said. "I am Zecora, a Shaman by nature. Of what we face, I know something of the creature."

Oh, now you're letting me out? said a voice Kyouko thought- and hoped to never hear again as Zecora extracted a strange smelling wooden cage from her carry pack- within a familiar creature.

"You're smaller than I remember," Kyouko noted.

Kyouko-san? How are you here? You can't be here, you're currently fighting... Kyuubey trailed off as his eyes adjusted to the light. You're a pony

"How nice of you to notice-" Kyouko turned from the white pest to Zecora. "How do you keep him in there?"

"With potion and rune, this magic's my boon. This creature knows of the beast, he fell from the sky. Though he speaks strange words, he tells nary a lie."

It is a Witch. Homura-san told me about them, claiming the existence of another universe. The laws of reality must be very different here, to allow for the existence of such a creature. Kyuubey said matter of factly. Now, would you let me out of here? I don't bite.

"Listen you, all that's keeping me from turning you into paste is that cage. And I'm pretty sure you don't have any extra bodies here, or you'd have just left as soon as you were caught," Kyouko hissed, leaning down to eye level with the Incubator.

What must my other self in that other universe have done to warrant such suspicion? Respecting myself as I do, I can only assume that it was warranted by the situation. You must understand that we do not have the morality you possess. It is an aberration- useful for gathering energy, but useless for the propagation of civilization. In such a situation, I would hope you would do the expedient thing also.

"Now is not the time for this waste- come follow me, it is the time for haste," Zecora interjected, grabbing the cage with a hoof and stuffing it back into the saddleback from which she'd withdrawn it. "The creature grows stronger by the hour- soon we will not be able to match its power."

"You're absolutely right. Except for the following you thing," Kyouko replied with a grin. She lowered herself, and gestured with her equine head. "Get on, I'm faster than you."

"I do not know if it is the truth you say, but for the sake of my friends I will trust you this day."

The moment Zecora climbed aboard Kyouko's back- which was a really odd experience, made bearable only by the fact that Kyouko was not in the least attracted to the zebra shaman- she tensed her muscles, called upon a surge of magic, and leapt- launching into the sky. With a neigh and a complicated mental gesture, Kyouko set off- racing down a crimson road.

"Until we get there I'm not going to stop," Kyouko yelled over the wind. "If you want off, it's quite a drop... damnit, now I'm doing it too!"

* * *

><p>The desert was vast- as vast as the Everfree forest, but where tree and mountain stood, the desert was endless dunes, sandstorms, and soaring buzzards. But it was more, too. At it's heart lay a great wreck of a vessel. A ship of metal and science, buried beneath the sand.<p>

It was a place that Armus had been seeking for some time, following a psychic signal that so obvious- and yet, so alien, even to it. This journey was changing it, too, it knew. Each part of itself it split off and sent away lessened it- but lessened its limitations. Already it was begining to feel a burgeoning satisfaction, a tinkling of amusement, a flicker of determination. These were emotions it had thought lost, taken by those contemptable Titans, far and away into the sky, never to return.

It frowned, glancing across the Everclear. Out, something called for it. Something with so much power, rage, and guile. Something that thought it could be used, but Armus was no foal's pawn.

It paused, halting all motion, dispersing from a solid star-shaded shape into a faint cloud, flattening against the sand. Something was coming. Something-

"Yeeehaw!" yelled a voice as a, at least to Armus, massive vessel rocketed over it's position. Its engines churned with arcane- no, scientific energies, and it loosed a bestial roar, turning and climbing into the sky.

The entire ship was scorred and pitted, but gleaming and magnificent- it was inspirational, even to Armus. As it turned and looped and flew, ascending into the distance, so too did Armus find its desires climbing.

"Ponies Why do I care about ponies?," it said aloud, vocalizing for the first time in... ever. Why do they matter? They they don t. Worthless creatures of flesh and bone!

It remembered the one desire it had always had, since the earliest of days, back when it was barely cognizant of its own being. A desire and a regret. Those contemptible Titans, who had left it behind- they had flown into the sky on wings of light.

Maybe Armus couldn't manage light, but there was enough knowledge in its being, enough ancient record of arcane and even the esoteric science to manage something else.

Fire.

The beacon trilled- a sound of recognition. Maybe that entity had seen the ship too. Maybe it was angry, or jealous.

There were a lot of maybes. But there was only one thing Armus could be certain of. That entity wouldn't care about very much at all very shortly.

Armus was close.

* * *

><p>They were three, not one. Tall, spindly, but without form. More vague impressions on the world, bound as they were by the light.<p>

"It is not of Bajor," said one, or perhaps all.

"It is not of any world," said another, or perhaps the first.

"It cannot be a suitable vessel," said the third. "It lacks... solidity."

Armus looked from one to the other, its being taking in the form and power of these strangers, these aliens.

"It is as we were, cast down from the sky."

"It is hate and rage."

"It is darkness and sorrow."

"It is limited. Too limited."

"But it can be put to use," all three declared.

Armus cast his gaze across them, noting their forms, their strengths, their weaknesses. They were powerful- too powerful. Yet limited, bound by the light.

"It needs a vessel, as we once did."

"Yes," said Armus, vocalizing. A physical body to contain its power. "But not Pony."

"This, we can arrange."

They unfolded, like strange alien fractals. For a moment, a brief sliver of Planck time, they bore their full glory, burning centuries of gathered strength in the face of the light that bound them. For that single moment, they were free. Free to use their power.

But that power was limited yet- it hissed and burned where the light touched it. So they shielded it with their own forms, perched as they were atop a burial, where they had waited, entombed alongside the body of their last acolyte.

Now they turned that power onto the body within the tomb, bringing it forth. It was long dead, far and away gone. When it had died- failing them and failing their cause, they had taken its soul for fuel.

Now they took the pieces that survived of that soul and delicately pieced them back together. There would never be enough for a whole being- too much had been consumed. But a vessel? To hold a great power, as they were a great power? The potential existed.

The body breathed, taking in its first breath in eight centuries. It stood, and looked, and thought, and remembered.

And it screamed, and yelled, and clawed at itself, incomplete, broken, an abomination that should not live.

"It is done," said the three, ignorant, or perhaps uncaring of the slavering wreck of a body before them. The thing tried to stand, tried to think, tried to be. But it could not. There was a void, a terrible emptyness. It was empty of that which it had been, and that which it needed to be, and could never be complete. It should be dead.

But it lived.

Armus glanced upon the body. It was not pony- no, it was something else. A strange ape-like form, with strange ridges and a strange uniform. Gray with the pallor of death, deceitful eyes that glanced around frightfully, and a voice full of horror.

It was not Pony.

For once in its long existence, the Night Mare smiled.

"This," it said aloud. "Will do nicely."

And then it flowed over the figure like oil, seeping into the skin, the eyes, the mouth, into all the openings that covered the creature. It seeped into the being's soul, or perhaps that place where the soul should have been- but instead were tatters. Those tatters it took, drawing into itself, making itself one with them. Another voice added to millions, subsumed under a great tide of winged unicorn-kind.

It stood, in this new form, drawing upon memories and feelings, old and new emotions buoying it up. It stood and drew breath, glancing at the three.

They were weak now, expending their power on a desperate gambit, a hope to bind it. Armus knew, drawing upon the memories of this body. He knew their ploys, and he know what they had intended. This soul had been bound to them- it had been theres in totality, and parts were still theirs. They had hoped that this link would let them control it, bind it, use it.

But what was one tattered wreck of a soul against a tide of millions?

It smiled, a cruel reptilian smile befitting its new form.

"I'd thank you," it said in a guileful voice. "But you're about to be too dead to care."

The three pulled on their connection with the body, with that soul, for they knew what Armus was. But they were spent, and their power weak. Bound by the sun, they could not resist.

So Armus fed. He ripped and tore. He ate and swallowed. And he found that it was Good.

* * *

><p>I was on the Enterprise.<p>

In the words of Rainbow Dash...

Omigoshomigoshomigosh!

That about summed it up. Like... I was in Trek. MLP... was in Trek. Treknology worked here- and I was in a prime position to actually get my hands on some. But first there was the matter of-

"-You can't be a pony! You're a pony!" There was a sound of fingers snapping and- nothing. "Why are you still a pony?"

"Q!" shouted Picard.

"No, no, you're entirely right, I forget myself," Q replied, raising a hand to his brow. "Now, in your little human words, tell me exactly what happened."

"Captain..." Worf growled, clearly upset about our presence on the Bridge.

"Not now, Mister Worf," Pony Picard answered, frowning. He turned to Q and sighed. "It's a long story, and we've not much time. I have people to rescue and-"

Q flashed- just for a split second. If I hadn't been looking right at him, I wouldn't have noticed it.

"Ah, yes, silly me. You bumbled into things beyond you again, and found yourself against a foe that couldn't be swayed with words or fought with phasers. So you did what you humans always do, you studied it, you found a weakness, and then you returned to exploit it. The one day ever that the power which guards Equestria would be otherwise occupied," Q said with authority. "A cunning plan, and you even have the Witch with you to pull it off. Very well, I'll leave you to it. But I want the full story later."

"If you know that then, you know-"

"No I don't," Q replied candidly. Then he snapped his fingers and vanished, leaving Pinkie and I stranded on the bridge of the USS Enterprise.

"Mister Worf..." Picard began, turning to face us. I held my breath. "You can stand down now."

"Of course," the Klingon replied, sheathing his phaser- although he kept his eyes on u s.

"I really am sorry for all of this, but we have a limited window to accomplish our mission. I'll have Miss Laren escort you to some guest quarters, and we can discuss your arrival... later."

I started to nod- and then midway through nodding started to shake my head.

"Uh, the one day in forever when Celestia is occupied, the mythical Return of The Mare in the Moon, the only Pony to match her power? Yeah, that kind of happened six months ago," I supplied helpfully. Picard... it wasn't really a glare so much as it was a discouraged sigh. "That being said, Celestia should be more aimiable to not going crazy- when I left her she was really quite sloshed."

Stares from all around- and a Pinkie Pie giggle.

"What?"

A pause.

"Oh yes, the speaking candidly thing, sorry, I know it's a problem."

A longer pause... what was I forgetting?

"Oh, duh, of course. You have no idea who the hell I am, do you?"

"No we do not, mister..."

"Kerrus," I supplied. "Kerrus Magrus."

"Mister Magrus. Very well, as Q seems to have abandoned you here, the least I can do is provide you with some hospitality. Commander Laren?"

Ro Laren, ex Maquis (like three times now) Bajoran tactical officer stepped up from where she had been standing by the turbolift with two security officers.

"Of course Captain. Mister Magrus, Miss... Pie, if you would follow me?"

"Are we going to have a party?" Pinkie pie asked curiously.

"... maybe later," Ro said under her breath.

"Oh goody!" Pinkie exuberated. If that's not a word, it damn well should be.

Not unsurprisingly, Ro refrained from facepalming, and instead kept her eyes forward as the security officers shoed us into the Turbolift, and the doors sealed. A familiar hum sounded, and the glorified elevator shot us down two decks and a couple junctions to where the Enterprise's 'guest' quarters were.

Ro didn't say anything more to us, beyond a terse "Here are your quarters." in which she split Pinkie and I up- likely so that we could be interacted with separately and not have a chance to firm up our stories... if this were a police procedural anyway.

In the Starfleet Jusitce System, the people are represented by three separate, yet equally important groups. The security officers who investigate crime, the attorneys who prosecute the offenders, and that goddamn Jackass Q who's always fucking messing with our shit.

These are their stories.

I snickered even as Ro shot me a disapproving glare.

"If you need anything, Mister Owens will be right here," Ro told me, gesturing to the Bolian security guard. Unlike most Bolians, Owens was not a jovial sort. Thin and well muscled, he looked like the kind who would as soon as break you in half as talk with you.

I nodded in reply, and let the doors close between us.

The so called 'Guest Quarters' were about the same as the quarters everyone else got, albeit a little nicer in certain areas. A larger bathroom, and access to a full replicator. It was to the latter that I was immediately drawn- for I was both a little hungry after my earlier escapades, and fascinated about what it could potentially do for me.

"Computer," I ordered authoratively. "What can this replicator provide for me?"

"This unit is limited to providing food items, as well as class C and D personal items."

"Can you give me an example of class C or D personal items?"

"A Lorianian Fedora is a..."

Okay, so apparently class C items were clothes, and class D items were other personal objects that didn't include weapons.

I ordered, ultimately, Mac and Cheese.

It was pretty good. I couldn't tell that it wasn't the real thing, except I guess that it was 'perfect' and lacked some of those smaller flavours that work their way in when one repeatedly cooks in the same pot over years and years. Nevertheless, I was-

"So when are we going to Party?" asked Pinkie, popping into my room as though it was completely natural. I guess, for her, it was.

"Honestly, I don't know," I replied. "These people do occasionally have parties, but they're more like... the Royal Guard, than Party Ponies."

"Oh, poopy," cursed Pinkie Pie, mane darkening slightly as she slid down the slider between Party Pony and Axe Murder Crazy Place. "Well, we can still have a party you and me, right?"

"Sure," I replied, with a bit of a grin. Pinkie's enthusiasm was infectious, and with open replicator access, there were a number of things I wanted to try.

* * *

><p>We had our Party, and then Pinkie popped back to her own room, but not before making sure I was practing my... sliding, as it were. The white expanse was more difficult to move through, even with the convenient opening Pinkie provided, and required some seriously brain twisting thought to figure out what was wrong- the ship was generating a subspace field.<p>

Accessing the computer provided for my use, I read up on subspace fields- finding a breadth of information far and above what I had expected.

After, oh, an hour of research, I made another attempt, focusing, thinking, twisting, visualizing- and with a *pop* I transited from my room to that white place for just an instant- then from that white place to Pinkie's room.

Pinkie was doing something wholly inappropriate with a Rainbow Dash dakimakura, namely, she was having a crazy pony tea party.

""_You're so awesome Pinkie!_"" said Pinkie Pie pretending to be Rainbow Dash. ""_You're my best friend!_""

"Why yes, Dashie, I am," Pinkie replied. Her hair was... well, it wasn't totally flat, but it was pretty flat. And she was definitely a lot darker hued then normal.

I cleared my throat.

"Am I interrupting something?"

Pinkie Pie crying will forever haunt me as one of the saddest things I've ever seen, and she dashed across the intervening space- the Rainbow Dash body pillow vanishing into thin air. Then she glomped me, and began recounting her story.

"I tried to go back, but it's too far!" she said tearfully. "I could go, but I might get lost. I don't want to get lost, because I might never find my way back. So I tried to get back here, but it wasn't in the space place. And I nearly lost myself entirely, but then I thought 'What would Rainbow Dash do?' and..."

"You are back right?" I said softly, stroking her mane. "This is a spaceship, you silly pony, it's always moving."

"Yeah," said Pinkie glumly. "Do we... can we not talk about what you saw?"

"Axe Murder Crazy Place?" I said, even as she stiffened. "Sure. Everyone has their issues."

Pinkie smiled at me then.

"Thanks."

* * *

><p>It's been years since I sat down with a psychiatrist. Someone who was trained to handle cases like mine. Someone who could, if not actually help, then at least offer the appearance and confidence of helping.<p>

Someone who could pretend they understood me.

Comparing then to now? the greatest such doctor I ever spoke with would be but a student next to Counselor Troi. Maybe it's the empathy, maybe it's the SPACE FUTURE!, I don't know.

It started as we sat down, just the two of us, in her office. And then she breathed in, opening herself up in a way I could vaguely recognize, as if from a dream- or a memory.

"I sense..." she began, sorting through the emotions. "You are conflicted- and you seem to be holding yourself back. It feels like you have a check, a lock on yourself, and you are keeping your emotions in. There's what you want to do, and what you're doing- and I don't think that it's healthy for you to go on like this. You need to let it out."

Wow.

"Yeah..." I said, responsibility holding its knife to my throat. "If only I could."

"But you can," she said in reply. "Anything you say will be strictly between us. Just talk, and I'll listen."

Responsibility held that knife, even as I remembered that 'counselor/patient confidentality didn't extend to telling the command crew about everything, or nearly so.

I snorted, then held up a hand.

"Okay," I said after a moment. "But there's a lot. And it's... A lot of it's going to be personal."

"I think I can handle your personal issues- that is my job," she said, laughing softly.

"No. Not personal to me. Personal to you."

I didn't give her a chance to finish, instead recalling up my intense recollections of everything TNG- specifically, every episode that involved Deanna in some significant way.

"I know things," I prefaced. "While I'm lucky that this timeline has moved beyond what I know- mostly-, it only makes interacting marginally easier."

"Okay. You. You had a sister, who drowned when you were an infant..."

"Kestra..." Deanna breathed, eyes curious and surprised. Or surprised and curious. Or-

"Yeah. That stuff with your mum in season seven... err, 2370. With the aliens learning to talk."

I paused, immersing myself in my memories. Okay, let's do this.

"Farpoint. Alien shapeshifting cosmozoans... I don't recall their name offhand, but they were giant space jellyfish. Uh, The Naked Now- polywater intoxication? Everyone got crazy drunk, including Data, but an antidote was created and Wesley saved the ship."

I snorted.

"There was an outpost from the T'kon empire that zapped the ship, you and everyone else nearly died from the cold/oxygen deprivation. You can't read Ferengi. Nebula aliens who hijacked Picard- who then beamed himself into space- that was a neat one. Uh, you got stuck in a shuttle that crashed in a giant sentient oil slick thing named Armus... yeah. That was the thing that murdered Tasha Yar..."

I glanced at Deanna, whom seemed to be taking this all in... not terrifically- but not terribly either.

"You are... surprisingly knowledgable," she began. "But some of your events did not happen."

"Huh?"

"I was never trapped in a shuttle by a 'giant oil slick'- and I've never read any reports mentioning such a thing. Also, Tasha Yar is alive- she is currently serving on the USS Titan," Deanna continued, explaining.

What. The. Fuck?

I sort of shorted out for a moment. Universe and memory doesn't make sense. Usually I'd just say that memory is wrong, because it could be something vague or some other explanation. But...

If the memory isn't wrong, then that only leaves the universe, right?

"I'm in a different universe."

"You told us that you came from another universe," confirmed Deanna.

"No. I'm in a different version of your universe than the one that we have stories for back home..."

Wait a second.

"Can you show me a picture of the bridge of the Enterprise D?" I asked suddenly. "Please?"

Deanna tapped out something on her computer, then spun it around- and... there it was. The bridge design was different. More thoughts occured to me. I hadn't seen Riker on the bridge. Deanna had just mentioned a 'USS Titan'. Uh...

"Counselor, are you married?" I asked, begining to frown.

"Well," Deanna began, smiling a bit.

It was right about then that I noticed the Bat'leth on one of the walls.

"Worf?"I asked.

"Mmhm," Deanna replied.

"Well shit, I'm in a different Quantum Reality... No wonder my information's inaccurate."

* * *

><p>It occurred to me: This must be what Celestia feels like all the time.<p>

Because being fiction in my world meant that I knew a certain day to day familiarity with these people, this place- even though they didn't remotely know me. It meant that I might make candid comments or display knowledge or attitudes that were simply... unknown on the show.

And it felt extremely weird.

I bet it was weirder to be on the receiving end of it.

I bring this up, because I just finished a psyche evaluation by Counselor Troi of sorts. Since I sort of got Barclay-levels of nervous during the late afternoon meeting I'd had with the bridge crew. Came decked out with all the stuff I'd managed to replicate- which was a fair share- and kept talking to myself.

It's something that I hadn't really thought of- I mean, ostensibly I know that these people are people, but I don't think that there's quite so been any group that I quite so heavily identify as fiction as the Enterprise crew. And to my discredit, I've sort of been treating them as such.

Regardless, there's a lot of interesting things I've learned so far, not the least of which was that apparently the Computer has the entire Starfleet Academy Sylabus in its database. Which is fortunate, because I really want to know how everything works. So it's sitting on a snazzy laptop computer I put together with the help of a brief introductory course into holographic design run by a hologram of Tom Paris.

It's... quite something, and I'm really glad that Starfleet doesn't restrict it's guests from replicating personal items that aren't sensitive technology. The computer is, I think, the most useful thing I'll be taking away from this. It looks like a snazzy laptop computer, but the features... man, the features. I'll tell you about them later. Apparently commbadges aren't restricted either, so aside from putting that capability into it, I've got a bag full of them.

Worst comes to worst, I can sell them for their gold value- yes, they're made with real gold.

Anyway, as it turns out we're a few days out from Equestria, which is kind of annoying, but at the same time useful- because it gives me some time to interact with the crew, to try and convince someone to give me a phaser- even if it's one of those shitty type one phasers, and to figure out where to go from here.

I mean, it's not like I've got some great plan or anything, I generally just fly by the seat of my pants.

Regardless, there was another matter to be dealt with before we did anything else. I was, at the moment, heading down to Engineering, where I was going to try and coerce Geordi to take a look at and try and back engineer the IXA Driver.

Because Starfleet doesn't appear to use any kind of armor, so redshirts regularly get pasted by the most routine of hazards.

Or at least that's what the plan was.

"Sir, this is a restricted area, I'm afraid we can't let you inside," said an officer wearing the gold security uniform (which was also the engineering uniform... *sigh*)

"Oh," I said, coming to a halt. Had they upgraded competence since the days of letting anyone in to see the warp core? "Does Commander La Forge have an office then? I really need to see him"

"No sir, you'll have to wait until he gets off duty," said the guard.

Right. Okay.

Wait a second. These are security guards, and this particular one- I glanced at his collar- A Lieutenant apparently.

"Well, can you help me then?"

Guard 1 shared a look with guard 2, who shrugged.

"What do you need?" asked guard 1.

"Well, I was mostly wondering why you guys don't have any sort of body armor," I said simply. "The historical recordings I've seen have redshirts getting freemed by pretty routine hazards, so it seems like it would be a simple measure to increase safety and survivability."

"Freemed?" asked guard 2, who seemed a bit amused.

I made a gun shape with my hand.

"Freem," I said.

A pause.

"No? The sound Tetryon beam weapons make," I clarified.

"Oh, freemed!" Guard 2 apparently familiar with weapon sounds more than his companion. "Wait, armor? As in ship armor?"

If I ever run into admiral Cartright, I am going to murder him. Again. Because seriously, what?

"Noooo... I mean body armor."

"You can't b-" started guard 1 with what sounded very much like a canned response the sort that one is taught at a certain prestigious academy.

"Okay, hangon. Are you guys on Duty, or are you the two assigned to follow me around and tell me I can't go places?"

Guard 2 chuckled.

"The latter," guard 1 replied with a frown.

"Okay. Good. Let's go then," I said, spinning and walking off.

"Where-" started guard 2, but guard 1 smacked him- or at least that's what it sounded like.

"Holodeck. I'm going to get to the bottom of this one way or another," I said with an air of command that I'd been cultivating ever since I woke up in Homu Homu's house that first jump. "And you two are going to help me."

The history of Starfleet's on again off again attempts at body armor turned out to be surprisingly interesting.

For one, the general stigma against it I'd encountered seemed to derive from the ability of energy weapons on sufficient setting to just blast straight through it. While materials existed that could deflect or block such attacks- there were various problems with making body armor out of it.

But that isn't to say that starfleet hadn't tried. The most famous example of this was apparently the Starfleet Uniform- which, while looking to just be fabric pajamas, was actually some sort of spidersilk-weave with various components enhancing survivability.

At least theoretically.

"Can maintain an air tight connection when worn with a Type 3A forcefield collar and standard issue gloves?" I said aloud, reading off a schematic. I glanced at Foster, one of the security guards assigned to me- well to guard me, but he didn't seem adverse to humoring my weirdness. "You ever use that function?"

"It's not something I'm familiar with, sir, no."

Right. Um... what's that thing that people back home are always saying? It's all there in the manual?

"Computer, give me the manual on starfleet uniform capabilities," I ordered. There was a shimmer, and then a book- an actual book, made with paper- materialized before me. Looked like a college textbook. "Huh."

Paging through it, it seemed to present fairly basic knowledge- mostly minor things. Uniforms ablate impacts but have a weakness to photon-tempered weaponry, uniforms are capable of enhancing oxygen recovery and retention, uniforms are...

Chapter 5: Starfleet Uniforms - The Crusade.

"What the hell?"

The moment I flipped open chapter 3- having read/skimmed through the first four chapters filled mostly with technical garbage and boring generic imformation and inane history bytes- a hologram materialized of a well dressed old man sitting in a chair with his legs crossed and a cat on his lap. He looked up at me, and his eyes brightened.

"Well, well, well, it's certainly been a long time since anyone's gotten this far," the man remarked. I moved my head and noticed that his eyes tracked the motion- creepy. "If you have made it here, then you're probably trying to figure out why Starfleet doesn't use armor- or... Well I guess you could just be really boring..."

It was looking at me, and I wasn't altogether sure if it was aware or not- gods damn but this is a lot more disturbing in person.

"Uh..." I began after a moment of silence. "The first one?"

It flickered- just for a moment, and then met my eyes again.

"Ah, good, a young seeker of knowledge- and I, the teacher. But I really should start at the begining. I am Professor Robert Blackman of Starfleet Academy, and for twenty years I worked on designing uniforms for the good men and women who serve our great nations. It was during that time that I became aware of a growing trend- one that started as far back as the Cartright Administration, and one that continues to this day- a trend that states that image is everything, and that death is preferable to loss of image."

He paused, stroking his holographic cat behind the ears, and glanced away somberly.

"It has become a blood price, and eager cadets pay it every year in life and limb. I've done by best to mitigate it, as you will find out, but all my work matters little if it is hidden, if those eager cadets are unaware of my contributions to their survival. I never desired glory, but faced with this repressive mediocrity, how could I not stand up?"

He continued on in that vein for some time, leaving me flabbergasted- and Foster, well...

Angry is one way to put it. I'm glad it was Foster in here with me, and not the younger more impressionable williams.

Basically... Starfleet has uniforms that integrate armor, forcefields, modern protection of all sorts. They just don't use them, because they're not part of standard equipment (bureacracy, the hologram assures me), and must instead be requested specifically. However all information on them has been- if not scrubbed- then hidden. Only by reading through the first four chapters of the manual, or going through various other technical schematics, reports, or the like, can one even discern their existence.

Occasionally- occasionally the starfleet echelons deign to break them out for limited use during wartime- and apparently they had done so during the Dominion War. But only for use by ground pounder units, troops who would never command a starship and never run the risk of offending some prancy fancy ass alien space bat from the omega cluster who thought that bulky clothing was 'an act of hostility' or from pissing off a giant slug from Eta Theta 2 who considered self-protection the absolute height of bad taste.

As a result, Blackman and his cohorts had worked on concealing every last erg of possible protection in a standard starfleet uniform. It was ingenious really.

Like, for example: Rank Pips.

Rank Pips aren't just little gold and black colored dots- they're structural integrity generators that run a SIF field through the uniform, enhancing strength, resilience, and providing limited energy dispersion capbilities. If I were in charge of Starfleet, I'd make damn well sure my captains knew about this feature- but no, it had to be a secret because... politics?

I was never good with politics.

The question was, of course, if there were all these features- why did the viewers like myself never see them in action.

A thought occured to me.

"How does one turn on this feature?" I asked the small hologram of Professor Blackman.

Its eyes brightened, and it smiled and reached up to its collar where several rank pips had materialized. It touched one and twisted it 180 degrees clockwise- there was a hum and his entire uniform straightened out, losing wrinkles and almost shimmering with intensitiy.

"It's manually activated?" I sighed, rolling my eyes.

"Lietenant Foster- thoughts?"

"It's a damn shame, it is," said Foster, having evidently regained his composure. "We've lost a lot of good men that armor of any sort would have saved, but up until you started asking questions, I'd never even considered it possible. 'Everyone Knows that phasers or other energy weapons will just burn right through any sort of armor' is what they teach you at the academy."

"And I suppose that makes the other survivability features pale in comparison," I considered. I also considered that perhaps it was protection against the slipery slope leading to a military run government- give the troops military equipment and they start thinking like a military- and the whole thing just slides down the hill until Starfleet turns into the cardassians. But still, a conspiracy?

It seemed a little far fetched- but apparently here it was right in front of me.

"So. Forcefield collar, belt, boots, gloves," I said. "Computer, are any of these items restricted?"

"Negative."

"If they were restricted, someone could look on the restricted list and find them- and they don't want that, no. Secrecy is the best weapon," the diminutive hologram of Professor Blackman piped in.

"Awesome. If I request one of these, err, uniforms, and put it on- would it be holographic or real?" I was pretty sure it would be the latter- but one could never be too careful when working with holograms.

"Holodeck 3 maintains an active replicator tie-in," the computer replied.

"Well then, make me an army unform with all of the fixin's. Forcefield collar, belt, boots, gloves..." I paused for a moment. "And make the division color white while you're at it."

Rather than the traditional hologram appearance 'shimmer' noise, there was a tinkling sound- that of a replicator in action. A uniform appeared, folded and nice- with a collar, gloves, a belt and boots on top of it.

"I'm going to get changed," I said, stepping into the changing room that the computer had so graciously provided (damn holodecks were cool!)

It only took a couple minutes, but I gotta say I looked pretty snazzy in the uniform. It was something like uh... Star Trek Online's cadet uniforms. A shoulder bar of black, a bar of color below that- in my case white- and black below that. The material was thicker than normal uniforms- and a single silver rank pip sat on the neck- private? No idea, I'm not one for military ranks.

The forcefield collar fit snugly into the uniform's own collar- and was actually not at all uncomfortable. The rest of it fit equally well, finishing with the belt which pulled together quickly and efficiently. There were several other conveniences- the sleeve of my left arm had what looked to be some sort of integrated tricorder maybe. The pip on my neck could be twisted- and the brief hum and feel of support that inflated through the uniform assured me that the SIF field was forking- but beyond that, there were several small... buttons, I supposed, mounted on the belt. I depressed the first one and was rewarded with a familiar sound- a sound I exulted upon hearing.

"Personal shields!" I whooped, stepping out from behind the changing room's curtain to witness Foster stuffing Williams into one of the newly replicated uniforms- the younger officer looking rather dissatisfied- but ultimately complying.

"Looking good, Williams," I said with a grin.

But before either Williams or Foster could reply, the entire room flickered, the deck rocked and I slipped and whacked my head against the table- not too hard, but enough to get me to curse-

"FFFUCK! What the hell was that?"

"There was a power surge to the primary emitters caused by a phaser impact to the secondary EPS distribution manifold," the computer informed me.

"Sir, we need to get you to quarters- if the ship is under attack..."

"I know, I know- Computer! Save this design and download the manual under Kerrus1114!" I held up something that looked like a USB key on the outside, but was very different inside. It beeped, and I forced myself to my feet, making my way to the door.

"What the hell is attacking us?" I growled- weren't we in the galactic core? What the fuck was here to threaten the goddamned Enterprise E?

"The phaser energy signature matches that of a Cardassian Keldon class warship," the computer informed me as I staggered into the corridor- and the throng of people rushing to battle stations.

"Magrus- this way," shouted Williams over the din, grabbing my arm and pulling me down the corridor- I had been heading the other way, going with the flow of people.

I nodded, following- even as the ship rocked under my feet.

It's strange, not knowing what's going on. I mean, if I were on the bridge maybe I could figure out what was happening- but could I contribute?

Fat chance. A dude I could fight. Maybe win. A starship?

I don't even know where to begin.

"Giving up so easily? Don't you want to see how it ends? I thought you were better than this," a familiar, smug, and oh so self-satisfied voice said. It was Q, but when I turned he was neither pony nor human, but some strange chimera-thing I didn't recognize. He flashed and was human again- and as he dusted his shirt off I whirled- equal parts pissed off and... no I was just pissed off.

"Now where were w-" he began.

I kicked him in the nuts before he could finish.

Apparently when Q takes a form, he actually takes it- condensing his extradimensional greatness down into a little three dimensional bag of meat and water. Of course he's not so limited by the limits of that form- were a starship to immolate his human body in nuclear starfire, one of two things would happen- either it would vanish and he would explode out of it, popping into a new form or buggering off entirely- or it just wouldn't affect the body at all.

We were pretty clearly in the former camp- as not only did he curse and hiss, but he fell to the ground clutching at himself.

"You kicked me," he said dourly, flash-vanish-flash-beside me again, keeping stride. Williams glanced at him with a look of not quite terror, and Foster was training a phaser on him- like that would help. "Picard would never kick me."

"That was old when you said it to Sisko, and it's old now. What do you want?"

"Well, I just stopped by to apologize- you see, this is all my fault," Q admitted- but he was neither humble nor modest. In fact, he seemed quite pleased with the fact.

"You're going to explain. You can't help yourself. These are not the droids you're looking for," I said, voice escalating into 'whoo whoo' ghost territory.

"When I dropped you and the Pink One off, I was intrigued- Picard had been transformed into a Pony. More than you being some halfwit human from a world out side the subspace multitudes, it intrigued me, because it was exactly the sort of thing that I would have done- but I knew I hadn't done it."

I rolled my eyes, glancing at the corridor wall. The guards and I were making good time, I was nearly to my fancy diplomatic quarters on the underside of the saucer.

"So I went back, to the beginning you see. Saw these new ponies. Confound them, but they were so perfect, so orderly- I just had to throw a little discord into the mix. So I spent a while- Q time, of course- playing with them. I'd leave for a while, a few centuries here a few decades there, and come back- play the old 'Your banishing spell wore off' card- you know how it goes."

"And this has to do with Celestia turning Picard into a pony how?"

"Oh, Celestia did nothing of the sort, indeed she slept through most of those events and only experienced them after. She's pretty powerful, as far as lower life forms go, but of course nothing against my Quintessence. Rather, it would be best to say that... I did it. Hahaha!"

"You from now did it, but because you're still running on linear time- or mostly- you weren't aware back then that you did it now- which is why it didn't work when you tried to change Picard back into a human... that it?"

"Exactly," Q affirmed. We turned through an intersection- and there my quarters were. Q glanced at Foster, who was still pointing a phaser at him. "Oh, you boys and your toys."

A snap and a flash, and Foster was holding a kitten instead of a phaser.

The ship shook again and I glared at Q.

"Must I do everything for you?"

He snapped his fingers for a moment we were in the white expanse- and a blur of pink latched onto us, even as another flash brought Pinkie, Q, myself, Williams, Foster, and the phaser kitten to the bridge.

On screen was a Cardassian Keldon class vessel- or rather, parts of one. Filling the gaps in was a slick glistening black void. For every phaser blast that lanced out from the ship, another blast of dark colored energy splashed across the shields. But then, it stopped. It...

It was like it was looking at me. That dark colored hull, slick and twisting and-

"They've stopped..." whispered Deanna. "They want something- they've tasted it and now they-"

"Captain, the enemy ship is hailing us," Worf reported from tactical.

"This is going to be good," Q whispered, rubbing his palms together.

"Onscreen," Picard ordered. He glanced towards us, spotted Q, glared- and then just as quick his gaze snapped back to the screen.

A figured appeared, cloaked in darkess and garbed in some sort of cardassian uniform.

"Hello Jean-luc," said Gul Dukat. "It's been quite a while."

To any other man, the thing that appeared on the screen might be taken at its word that it was Gul Dukat- but not Jean-Luc Picard. A veteran starfleet officer and the captain of the flagship itself, the USS Enterprise E, Picard was a seasoned officer, and his experience was second only to his gut instinct- an instinct that had carried him through more bad scrapes than many officers faced in ten years of service.

That instinct screamed at him now. Whatever it was he was facing, though it wore Dukat's face, it was not the man whom had tortured Jean-Luc to within an inch of complete breakdown. It was something else.

"Who are you?" Picard whispered, pulling himself to his hooves. "You're wearing Dukat's face, but you aren't him. Why attack this ship? What do you want?"

"Questionssss," the faux-Dukat hissed. "So many... questionsss."

It cast its malevolent gaze across the bridge, before settling on Pinkie Pie.

"Give me the Pink One, and I will be on my way," it continued, licking its lips. "I have need of it."

"I will not give up any member of this crew, nor guest under my protection- if you were really Dukat you would know that," Picard replied sternly.

"Yesss... This shell remembers well," the being replied. "I am... Armus. The Nightmare. The Pink One is mine. Give to me what is mine and be on your way. I give you my... word... that I shall depart once our business is concluded. Yessss."

Pinkie flinched away from its stare, even as I stared back at it. I laid a hand against Pinkie's shoulder to reassure her that everything would be okay- then my eyes widened as I noticed the look of utter disgust on Q's face as he stared at the thing wearing Dukat's body.

Picard, for his part, was conferring with the other bridge staff- Deanna, Worf, La Forge. Little whispers that I couldn't- and probably didn't need to- hear.

Q... Q was...

There was a flash and-

"My, my, aren't you a piece of work. Titans, never cleaning up their messes. But you're more than just yesterday's garbage I see- you've been eating. Why, three Pah Wraiths? And you want to eat Pinkie Pie? Who next? Me? You've got your sights set high."

The thing- Armus- hissed at the word 'Titan', and met Q's eyes.

"I... will consume. They... left me. Threw me away. But where they are light and freedom- I am power. Give me the Pink One, and I shall feed."

"Please, you couldn't accomplish your goal when you had the strongest Titan in the entire quadrant under your- hooves- what makes you think anything's different now."

Q- or rather, John Delancie, I should say, is an expert at delivering cynicism, snide remarks, and smug gloating. In this particular situation, the snide remarks were having an interesting, and dare I say volatile effect. Every time Q insulted Armus, every time he threw something in that being's face, it got a little angrier.

Standing on the sidelines, I didn't realize what Q was doing until it was too late.

"ENOUGH!" Armus growled. A dark slick boiled out of Dukat's pores, consuming him as though he had fallen into an oil pit. But it didn't stop there- tendrils extended into the ship, blotting out the surroundings and eventually even the transmission itself, which vanished- replaced with an image of a Keldon class ship- but one that was... boiling?

A boiling rush of dark material expanded out of the hull, covering it as though in some slick, liquid, living armor. Into every nook and cranny it seeped- and then hardened, giving the vessel a glossy, sticky sheen. What once was an isolated cluster of sensations had exploded into full grown terror as I felt the ship looking at me- looking at my soul.

"I will have the Pink One. I will have the Riftwalker. I will have the meddler. I will have them all!" it roared, and then before Picard could get a word in edgewise, it attacked.

"Damnit Q," Picard cursed- used to, but still annoyed, with the trickster's habits. "Couldn't you have held off for just five more minutes?"

"It was going to eat you, mon capitaine. It could not be reasoned with, only enraged. Look at it this way- at least now you have a chance to survive this," Q replied smugly. "And no, I can't get you out of here. I may be omnipotent, but even I have my limits."

I took this opportunity to facepalm at that comment- before bracing myself against the wall as I was hit with a most curious sensation... something... something was twisting- and it wasn't just my stomache.

"Captain, that... whatever it is, it's forming a static warp shell. I'm reading graviton emissions... off the scales. It's warping space, but I don't think it's going anywhere," La Forge reported from the engineering station. Onscreen the vessel was twisting- but it wasn't the ship so much as the space around the ship.

"I will have it all!" Armus's voice sounded again. "Come to me... come to me..."

The ship shuddered again.

"Graviton emissions increasing by an order of magnitude," La Forge updated. "Sir, I suggest-"

"Full reverse, Miss Laren!" Picard ordered- the bajoran helm officer reacting with a series of commands that brought all thrusters to full, attempting to tear the ship away from the burgeoning gravity source.

Alarms sounded- the computer announcing shield deformation, structural integrity losses and a potential loss of magnetic containment. It was...

It was surreal. I was there, of course, but it felt just like an episode of TNG- and I myself was almost resigned to just standing around and watching them win the day.

But then I felt Pinkie shivering against me, even as she glared at the blot of a vessel.

"I don't think we can laugh our way out of this one," She said somberly. "I... what do we do, Kerrus?"

I glanced at the crew- going through the motions to save the ship- and I turned to Q, anger in my eyes.

"Hit me," I ordered.

Q slugged me in the jaw- and it really fucking hurt, let me tell you. It happened in a sort of slow motion, him swinging his fist even before I told him to do it- and what a hit- it knocked me off my feet, and I fell to the ground hand clutching my jaw.

"Fuck!" I roared, as the world around me snapped back into color, the din of combat flashing back to full instensity. Men and women fighting for their lives, and what had I done? I'd been standing around watching it like it was just some science fiction TV show, and not the reality it was.

I pulled myself to my feet, dusting my hands off out of habit.

"I assume you'd have left already if you could?" I asked of Q, who was watching Picard intently.

"Do I look like the kind of omnipoent who wants to get eaten by a giant oil slick?" Q replied, glowering.

"Right."

"Sir, the ship is forming some sort of distortion corridor. It's drawing in local space- and us- and taking it... I can't get an accurate reading," Geordi yelled over the din.

"Captain, if we modulate our deflector to-" Data began.

"Do it!" Picard ordered before the android could finish his explanation. Data responded, entering several commands into his console. There was a low thrumming sound, and then a pulse of red-white light that flashed out into space and against the twisting warp that Armus was generating. For a moment, nothing happened- but then Armus screamed.

With that scream came something else- more of a sensation than a sound- but it was a sensation I almost knew. As though someone was calling me.

Kerrus...

Kerrus...

_Kerrus!_

Several things happened in rapid succession, and I will strive to relate them to you in the order they happened.

The first was that I became aware of a surprisingly detailed sesation: My friends were on that ship. My memory flashed back, and I realized that I hadn't seen Kyouko in... days now. Even before Q had zapped us away from Ponyville, she'd been absent. I had just assumed she was out making friends, but that girl and trouble...  
>The second was that there was a flash of crimson light, and a beam as thick as a shuttle craft lanced out from the middle of the Nightmare-Ship, bisecting it in half. The aft of the ship immediately disintegrated, falling and twisting down the distortion corridor, vanishing out of sight- but the forward section flew on- seemingly unaffected by the titanic forces surrounding it, or the loss of half its mass.<p>

Amidst the wreckage, I could barely make out a faint red orb- and within it two equine figures.

"Captain!" I shouted over the din, gesturing madly at the screen.

"Transporters!" Jean-Luc yelled, spotting the figures and adapting to the situation as only a seasoned officer can.

"I've got them," Geordi announced, fingers dancing over his console, even as the vessel shook under the increasing tidal stresses.

"Warp power to engines!"

"The engines can't take much more of this, Captain!"

"Sir, that thing, it's..."

I could feel it. The distortion. It was a thread- so tenuous and thin, but a thread nevertheless. It linked this physical world of starships and rainbows, of ponies and friendship, to a world of indescribable... light. That Nightmare, Armus, it was bending space and time, desiring to consume all in a sacrifice to fuel its entry to that world. A realm of...

A realm of Titans.

"Let me go out there," I said loudly.

"What?"

"Are you insane?"

"No- it's my talent. Warps, distortions- I can stop this," I said, that feeling of wrongness intensifying. I knew- knew that I could stop it. But only if I was out there. I didn't know what cost it would require, what toll it would take. I didn't even know if I would survive- but then, what's my life really worth compared to these people at this time?

I didn't want to die- I've never wanted that, even at my lowest point. But I don't want these people to die even less.

"Young man, I don't know how they handle it where you're from, but on this ship we don't throw ourselves out an airlock a the first sign of trouble," Picard barked- and I paused, letting go of that gathering whiteness. "Mister La Forge, if you will."

"Yes sir," Geordi replied, entering several commands into his station. For a brief moment, everything seemed to intensify- all the light, all the sound- even the motive pressure as the ship shuddered under the compression effect of the distortion corridor. Then... then it stopped. As though we had entered a sea of calm, all motion halted.

I glanced at the viewscreen, and noticed a haze of white- the thinning remnants of some sort of energy pulse pressing against the threshing roil of the distortion. I could feel it, too- a wave of calm- and I sighed and relaxed just a bit.

"Sorry," I apologized, slumping down. We were safe- if only for the moment. I wondered, then why I had been so incensed to do what I had nearly done. Oh, there had been intense emotions, but...

Son of a bitch, I know that feeling!

I thought I'd gotten rid of that self-righteous go-crazy determination years ago- that urge to go nuts in an attempt to prove that I was right, that I was the better man. But why had it come up here? Was it becase I felt diminished? Swamped under the competence and sheer badassitude of this crew? Was it because I desperately wanted to matter, to pull off some triumphant victory in the face of all odds?

No. It was because I was scared. Terrified.

A man will do strange things in the face of all fear, and if I was anything, I was such a man.

"Damnit," I cursed.

As though my words unleased a floodgate, the ship began to shake- and I heard Picard ordering warp power again, heard Data talking about the deflector array and some sort of phase pulse bullshit- I heard all that, but focused on none of it.

There was... someone calling my name. But not my name... It was-

"A word please, Interloper-san," said Kyubey.

My eyes widened in surprise and suspicion.

"You..." I hissed.

Beside me, Pinkie Pie looked up from where she was... whispering conspiratorily with Q, and smiled at me.

"Don't you worry, silly head, we went ahead and read the ending- this is going to be great!" she confided, a bit of a smirk on her face. It was good to see that she'd rebounded in the, err, five minutes since we'd been all doom and gloom, but I wasn't sure how a party and/or prank was going to solve our problems.

I mean, sure, the ship seemed to be out of danger for the moment- the... nightmare had gone silent, apart from the steadily worsening distortion- but just because we weren't going to immediately get sucked down into some blowhole into the next universe didn't mean I wasn't worried.

"It is I, although not the one you have had dealings with," Kyubey said rather simply. "This being that you fight- it is a Witch in different trappings. But it is different than that. My captors and I have determined that within its psychic membrane exists a-"

"Oh shut up with the words, you!" snarled a familiar- and welcome voice, as Kyouko spoke over Kyubey's psychic wavelength thingy. "Kerrus, that thing out there is a child. Not 'like a child'- it's a child. Damnit, the people behind this left one behind, and it's insane with the grief and terror and rage."

Oh.

But how do we fix that-

... wait.

I glanced over at Pinkie.

"Captain," I said, raising my voice just a bit. "I have an idea."

* * *

><p>"What we need is a light in the dark," I said in deadpan to the gathered Bridge Crew, Pinkie, Guinan, Kyouko, Kyubey, and Zecora, crammed as we were into a conference room that really needed to be larger. "Pinkie here is the... err... inheritor to a powerful magical artifact called an 'Element of Harmony'- specifically, laughter."<p>

"The Elements of Harmony, when used together, are capable of immense feats that would be really useful in our situation- but we only have one part," I continued, gesturing to Pinkie. "So my thought is that we need a light in the dark. Kyubey, you have the- err, table."

Goddamn, but I never thought I'd say that.

The little white rat glanced at me from within the wooden cage that Zecora had insisted he stay in, despite Picard's platitudes that they could sufficiently contain him.

"Of course you must understand that my experience with Witches is purely hypothetical- based on limited data recovered from secured spacetime vaults that we retained access to after Kaname Madoka's transition," Kyubey prefaced- and I wandered what the hell he was talking about, briefly, before realizing that Madoka must have found a way out of the loops. Cool. "The creature that holds this vessel, the one you call 'Nightmare' is similar to the state of being of the being we call 'Witch'- a psychosomatically active entity of immense power, capable of severely altering the local constants of spacetime. More specifically, it is similar to a Magical Girl undergoing the process of 'Crysalis', wherein their forward drive loses out to entropy and their emotional-energetic release inverts and they begin the process of becoming a Witch. While for a Magical Girl this process lasts between a minute and twenty two hours, this entity appears to be- for lack of a better term- trapped."

"This is all very fascinating, but how again is it relevant to our current matter?" Picard asked, earning a glare from Counselor Troi.

"Normally a magical girl would complete the Crysalis process due to the imbalance between their 'drive' and entropy, and emerge a Witch. However, if the process is interfered with, the results can be... different," Kyubey explained, glancing at me with a "I know you know something" look. "In this case, it seems the... child... entered an artificial crysalis state, where it had some degree of choice over its progression. The psychology of emotional beings remains a niche subject to my kind, but it is something that I have studied in depth. It is likely that the child was unable to decide, and so was trapped in the crysalis state."

"Oh, fuck..." I cursed, sighing. "The spell."

"A what?"

"Magic, silly," Pinkie interjected with a laugh.

"Before we arrived here, I had been talking to Princess Celestia. Apparently she was around when this whole thing went down- they used some sort of spell to force enlightenment on the populace, giving them a choice to move forward on their own, to let the spell 'assist' them, or presumably to be left behind. Apparently aside from a few, most of the winged unicorns let the spell 'help' them- it uh... it severed their entropy," I explained, my mind frantically trying to piece together the disparate pieces of data I had.

"Impossible... no, I must consider the physical laws of this universe. Possible, but unlikely," Kyubey said.

"Enlightenment is no small feat, But there is more than one way to it. The spell you speak of is certainly known, but not why it would leave one alone," Zecore spoke up. "When the clock struck noon the choice was made, but not for us- we were forbade."

Wait, the Zebras had been around when this happened?

I held the bridge of my nose as a headache threatened to make this even more difficult to think about.

"So there's a winged unicorn pony, and all the negative energy of an entire civilization's worth of winged unicorn ponies wrapping it up. And it's eaten three Pah Wraiths, who are probably still inside it in some form. And it's despairing and trying to open some sort of portal to where the ones that left it behind went. So yeah, light in the dark."

"Captain," Counselor Troi began, putting an arm on Jean-Luc's before he could berate me. She turned and smiled. "Take your time."

Right, yes, time, the one thing we didn't have. Except we did, because since Kyouko had cut the Keldon in half, the Nightmare had seemed content to keep us trapped in this space warp- but keep it itself and not progress further.

"The Elements of Harmony, taken together, are a six part superweapon. Forging the emotional quality of each bearer and focusing it through the emotional prism of the sixth, they are capable of directing a tremendous amount of... psychic power? That sounds about right. Their effects are varied- ranging from stripping off the very dark power we're now fighting from the pony it was consuming, to- if it's anything like that rainbow thing in the old cartoons..."

I glanced around.

"Well, it does a lot. But they aren't here- Pinkie is."

"That's me!" Pinkie beamed, and the light coming off that pony- goddamn.

"Even if we only have one part, there's no reason to think that we wouldn't be able to supplement that power with another power source, like say... a matter/antimatter reaction?"

Geordi raised an eyebrow and whistled.

"I'd have to see this 'element', but Captain- he may be right. If we can tap into this, for lack of a better word, power, it may be able to do what it's done before. Of course they're the experts here, but it wouldn't be the first time we've put the warp core's output out the deflector dish," Geordi said, considering. He turned to Pinkie. "Does this 'element' have something physical to it? If it's just an esper construct then I'm really not sure how we'd use it."

Pinkie giggled, then focused- or rather, she narrowed her eyes and sort of squeeked with exertion. In response, there was a very pink flash, and a pink and gold necklace appeared around her neck, flashing into existence.

"There it is! I never leave home without it!"

"Intriguing," said Data, tricorder out and scanning. "The mounting appears to be some sort of crystalline based technology- but of a kind I'm unfamiliar with. It's definitely capable of channeling tremendous power however. The crystal itself I am detecting no returns from at all- it is as though it doesn't exist at all."

"It exists, Data. Maybe not here," said Troi tapping her head. "But here."

Troi moved a hand over her heart.

"Ms. Pie?" She asked, approaching Pinkie.

"Call me Pinkie," the pink filly giggled slightly- but then straightened her mouth in as serious an expression as she could manage.

"Pinkie then... may I?"

She reached out and laid a hand against the element of harmony- and gasped. Not in fright or surprise- but in wonder.

"It's... I haven't seen one of these since I was a little girl," Deanna whispered. She turned, her eyes serious. "Captain, this object is a psychic channel. It exists to channel the esper potential of its bearer into a powerful psychic field. In ancient times, the people of Betazed possessed several such devices, and linked together in a sort of psychic gestalt to accomplish great feats..."

She trailed off for a moment, staring at a sight none of us could see.

"But also great ills. Eventually our ancestors deemed the power too great a temptation, and they were sealed away. All but a few, which remained in our temples, a relic of that past," she continued. "It was one such object that served as a focus to the psychic gestalt my mother gathered Betazed in when they fended off the Dominion's attack. I'm not sure about using warp power for this, but-"

The ship shuddered, and the swirling distortion outside took on a distinctly reddish tinge.

"I don't think we have the time to try anything else."

"Geordi, Deanna," Picard said, nodding to the two of them. He glanced at me, and then stood. "Get to it then- Worf, with me."

Picard turned and left, and I couldn't help but strain to hear him quietly talking with the Klingon first officer- I didn't hear much, but I caught the words "backup plan" and "Vulcans."

While Pinkie bounced after Geordi while talking animately with Deanna, Q had slouched in his chair and was pointedly not looking at Guinan. But apparently whatever animosity he held towards her didn't extend to his mouth.

"I see you're back," he said simply. "Couldn't keep away? I know the feeling."

Guinan, for her part, just listened. It was the sort of person she was.

"I suppose this is the part where I would tell you I'm sorry, and that I'm not the chaotic bringer of discord I appear to be- but..." he paused for a moment and made a vague gesture. "We both know that isn't true. I bore easily- is it any wonder that I hunger for new experiences? And like always you... you're just a stick in the mud."

I snorted- but Guinan, she laughed.

"You've changed, Q" she said after a moment. "I think we both know why. It looks good on you."

Q raised an eyebrow, then turned and glanced at the open door.

"I have, haven't I? So what do you say we go out for a night on the galaxy- just for old time's sake?"

"No."

"Aww, but I though you said I'd changed? Aren't you going to give me another chance?"

Puppydog eyes are no doubt one of the most effective weapons in the universe- but, and I say this specifically: Only when they're not being used by someone who looks and sounds like John Delancie.

"No? It's okay, I forgive you," Q said, bouncing back. "Now fair lady, shall we retire to the bridge and see what entertaining solution these backwards apes have come up with now?"

He held out a hand gallantly- or at least as gallantly as someone who looks and sounds like John Delancie can. Guinan for her part... looked like he had offered her an eel or something similarly distasteful.

"Don't push it."

"Very well, suit yourself. He then snapped his fingers and vanished in a flash. Guinan watched him go, then stood and left too- leaving me behind with Kyouko, Zecora, and Kyubey. I turned, glancing at the two ponies.

"So... spill," I said simply. Zecora, for her part, just raised an eyebrow. Kyouko grimaced.

"It's bad, gajin," Kyouko admitted. "It's not the foal that's the problem- it's powerful, but no more than a juvenile. But those three... Zecora what did you call them? Souls of darkness?"

"The three are a darkness of stars, an ancient evil from very far. Not witch, not demon, not unhallowed evil, but a darkness arising from the choices of people. Long ago before when time began, many different peoples traveled these lands. Some burned with blackness, others with light- but eventually all vanished into the night. So focused and radiant and capable too, but of their long vanished legacy only remains you."

She gestured at me, and then at Kyouko.

Humans? Well, it'd explain the universe's fascination with fucking with us certainly.

"Those beings are evil, through as can be, but they know it, they _choose_ it- with all certainty. A choice which defines them, it is why they are barred. From the temple celestial, from the task of the Ward. They craft and they plan- tearing worlds asunder, but in all their workings they have made many blunders," the Zebra shamaness continued, speaking bold and loudly. Against the backdrop of the shaking ship, it was certainly inspiring. "Cast down from the heavens, locked into the earth. Forbidden from flight until they prove all their worth. They toil and revile, and hate all their lot- but bound without hope? Certainly not. If only to choose to take up the burden, cast down dark hatred, cast down their revulsion. Throw out their ancient aminosity- work for the goodness that is you and me. Standing aside their glorious brethren... but as of yet they have not accepted this solution. Content to wallow in darkness and despair. Filled with revenge and the oath they all share..."

Zecora matched her eyes to mine.

"They seek your doom. Beware! Beware!"

The ship shuddered again- and something exploded. Outside the windows the... sky... was streaked with streamers of red and black- and white and a brilliant pink. And I... I had the feeling we had just run out of time.

"Come on, let's get to the bridge," I said, keeping an eye on the ceiling which was creaking ominously. "If there's anyone I'd trust with my life, it's these people... let's see what they have for us, shall we?"

Were she human, I'm sure Kyouko would have gracefull accepted my hand- ha! No, she raised her nose at me, hmphed, and clip-clopped out of the room. Zecora for her part, smiled and-

"Fucking no sense of gods be damned timing. At least I got to the good part!"

My eyes widened, I'm sure, and I stared at her. She never swore in the show...

But she did fire off strings of something that sounded vaguely like swaheeli, that nobody could ever understand. The Universal translator!

Despite the situation, I chuckled- a chuckle and then more and then bare chested laughter.

"You're a class act, Zecora," I told the Zebra pony. "A class act."

* * *

><p>For a super charged beam of pure laughter- that I'd affectionately called the Pinkie Beam- its effects were less than stellar. I'd hoped for something reminiscent of a Carebear Stare. Instead, the shimmering pink beam seemed to caress the enemy vessel- but inflicted no further damage upon it.<p>

Pinkie Pie, for her part, had her eyes closed and was focusing. Surrounding her was a sizable pink aura, and numerous wires and other devices were connected to her Element of Harmony.

"Pinkie?" I asked quietly.

"Give it time," she replied without sparing me a glance.

'Time' in this case seemed to consist of no longer than thirty seconds, before-

"Captain, I'm detecting a tachyon-baryon surge. The Keldon is coming apart," Worf declared- and before my eyes a brackish haze seemed to lift off the ancient Cardassian starship. Swirling around the Pinkie Beam, I caught sight of something light and wan at its center- but that was before everything started going wrong.

The dark energy that the Pinkie Beam had stripped off was congealing- coming together in three malevolently glowing clumps- three dark red stars.

Something offscreen exploded, and I grabbed out to steady myself as the Enterprise shook beneath me. I turned, wincing, and there was a flash and something acrid smelling- and then there was a silhouette of a man- a Cardassian- with three shadows. He turned, and his eyes were stars, bleak and red.

"So limited. So powerless," the man said, stepping towards me. "And yet... powerful."

He breathed in a manner that suggested he was smelling a particularly delectable smell- and given the way he was looking at me, I suspected that this Pah-Wraith, for it could be no other, was trying to breath in my very soul.

The lights flickered- and it was gone- gone for a mere moment, then back- then gone again.

Some part of me realized that it must be some sort of projection- cutting through shields at their weakest point. Intermittent, but no less real.

But with Pinkie occupied, and the crew focused on keeping the ship together, how the hell was I to fight a psychic emanation of a dark god like a Pah-Wraith? Let alone three!

My leg came up and I slammed my size twelve duranium toed boot straight into the shade of Gul Dukat's family jewels, and he went down like a sack of potatoes.

"Pain..." he hissed- but he didn't sound in pain so much that he sounded like he was savoring the feeling. Eww. Lights flickered- and he was gone- then he stood before me anew. "All these debts shall be repaid. Starting with-"

"Now Mister Worf!" Picard's voice commanded- and a shimmering ray of bluish light lashed out from the ceiling to wrap around the Pah-Wraith, which bellowed in very real pain. It flickered- vanishing, and coming back- but not quite coming back, the ray of chroniton radiation lancing through its corporeal form.

"Know..." it hissed as its projection faded. "This is not an end!"

Then it was gone.

"Almost there..." growled Pinkie Pie as the pinkish glow around her intensified. "Almost... Gotcha!"

It was then that I heard the sound of something cracking, an explosion, and I was thrown across the bridge into an engineering console, which promptly exploded itself. It wasn't the first time that I was hit by an electrical arc- and I doubted it would be the last. Pain, everywhere.

I forced my eyes open, glancing blearily up.

"Pinkie?" I called haggardly.

No response.

"Pinkie? Pinkie!" I called, biting through the pain and forcing myself up.

I saw her then, that pink pony. She lay against a bulkhead, a Pinkie-shaped silhouette against the brackish ash that surrounded her. There, on her neck where the Element of Harmony had been was now only a now bloody wound. Pieces of the Element were everywhere- the golden mounting had disintegrated, but the actual jewel had merely split. One such piece was currently sticking out of my thigh, and the others...

"Pinkie?" I called again softly, pulling myself up to her. There were... tears in my eyes. Respond, damnit!

"-nt' worry 'me," Pinkie whispered tiredly. "There. You aren't done."

Her eyes opened- and focused briefly. I turned, and caught sight of a pony who hadn't been there before- no more than than a foal. Yellow and orange, it reminded me of the color of the desert. And it lay wounded too- and I heard a faint litany, a mantra of one word being repeated over and over.

No. No. No. No no no no no no- as it- he- cried, I could see a faint brackish haze gathering around it.

"No." I hissed. Not after all this work- not after all this pain. With a growl I ripped the element shard out of my thigh and leaped forward, brandishing it like a dagger. Somehow, perhaps fueled by my determination or some other force, it ignited in a pinkish glow of spectral radiance. Then I slammed it down, cutting through the shimmering darkness, and freeing the pegacorn colt from the spell that had held it in bondage for longer than recorded Equestrian history.

The world went dark very quickly after that, and I surrendered to the dark embrace of unconsciousness.

* * *

><p>Many things happened after I lost consciousness- which is becoming some sort of 'thing' for me, I dare note. For instance, did you know that the Jean-Luc Picard of this universe apparently didn't hand back the ancient Vulcan-built psionic resonator known as the Stone of Gol? A psionic super-weapon, it was capable of turning all the negative emotions of a target- or targets- against them.<p>

In the original timeline, Jean-Luc had turned it over upon the condition that the Vulcans would destroy it- although personally I always thought they were just putting it away for a rainy day. Not so here! Evidently the moment the Pinkie Beam cut out, Deanna Troi fired up the Stone of Gol from science lab 3 and...

Apparently it works against Pah-Wraiths. I was spared the grisly details, but I can tell you that Deanna looks fairly shaken- if triumphant. Which is a good thing, given that without it, we'd all be suffering from an acute case of dead.

Instead, we were merely confined to sickbay for a while. It was about as good an ending as I could have hoped for.

Opening my eyes, I took stock of myself- my wounds, having been largely superficial, were gone- healed by a dermal regenerator. My thigh where I d been stabbed by a piece of the Element of Laughter was, shall we say just a bit sore- but I suspected that pain would fade.

Pulling myself up I noticed that I still had company- Pinkie lay on a biobed next to me- and beside her was-

Hey there little guy, I said softly at the winged unicorn colt lying in her embrace. He was young- about the age of the CMC if I had to peg it. Or at least physically- I have no idea how long he was aware inside that malevolent collection of darkness.

Hay yourself, said Pinkie tiredly, imitating Applejack s southern drawl. She giggled lightly, and smiled. We did it.

I know, I replied. Who who is he?

I wasn t asking like I didn t know that this was the winged unicorn we had rescued- but I didn t know who he d been in his former life- his name, his desires- anything like that. He was here and not on a separate bed, so clearly he d been awake at some point.

He s a little froggy on it all, Pinkie replied- then giggled at her own joke. Foggy. But he remembers other things. Like his name. Sahara Daze.

The aforementioned colt apparently heard us, because he opened his big blue eyes and glanced up at Pinkie.

Mommy, he said contentedly, snuggling against her.

What?

Maybe I ll tell you someday, said Pinkie conspiratorially, then she pulled the colt against her- and I got a sense of real caring from her.

To my experience, not long ago Pinkie had pulled him out of a fire of darkness- sure- but she d done so as the focal point of a warp powered psychic energy beam. One that had lingered, taking its time to accomplish our goals.

To her experience perhaps something different? A thought for another day certainly.

Then Sickbay s doors opened and in came a most unlikely procession, including Princess Celestia, Colgate T. Romana, and Doctor Whooves- well that explained how they got on board. Oh, and of course the entire main caste- Applejack, Twilight Sparkle, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, and even Rarity. Spike was probably in there somewhere too, but between the animate conversations going on I wasn t certain.

Of course all conversation halted when Rainbow Dash, the blue Pegasus with the rainbow mane (Gee, doesn t that sound like a television serial: THE PEGASUS WITH THE RAINBOW MANE) noticed Pinkie Pie and was at her side in ten seconds flat- or some variant thereof.

Pinkie! she exclaimed in a typical exclamation of Dash-like concern. What did the do to you? I ll get em for you, just point me at them!

Silly Dashie, it s alright, said Pinkie opening her eyes. She was still clearly exhausted- but then, who wouldn t be? I m glad you re here- you re all here. There s someone I want you to meet.

She winked at me- or at least I thought she did, before pressing on.

Everyone, this is Sahara Daze, Pinkie said, pulling herself to a sitting position on her haunches- did ponies have haunches? Forgive me if I ve gotten the terminology wrong. Sahara? These are my best best friends forever.

The little winged unicorn opened his eyes, shook his wings, and glanced at the gathered ensemble.

Hello he said nervously. Please take good care of me.

There is a part of every fan of every work that can roughly be described as sixteen year old fangirl - and that part of me dawwwed.

Outwardly, however, given years of maturity, I just smiled.

They made a cute family, although as I watched Rainbow Dash fidgeting I realized she was probably trying to figure out just where she fit in with all this.

Good luck, I thought.

* * *

><p>It wasn't the noise so much as the silence that woke me. My final night on the Enterprise, before we left for parts unknown and unknowable. With all the rush and bustle, I hadn't had time to really appreciate the silence- how quiet the ship was, soaring through the blackness of space. But there was something else, too- a familiar something, a presence that lingered on the periphery of my awareness. It was...<p>

Imagine, if you will, a sudden flash of imagery, a snippet of a song. I saw a rippling aurora in the skies of a world new, yet familiar to me in many ways. The song was familiar- and yet different- but I knew it all too well.

"Tsubame?" I breathed, and there she was. She was herself again- human, young and timid, but strong and forgiving. She was at once herself, but also something new. Confident yet sad, warm yet afraid. I knew at once why she had come- how could I not?

"Kerrus," she replied, stepping out of the shadows. The pale arc of Equestria hung beyond my window, and I knew of course.

"You're staying," I said, at once happy and sad. I was proud of her, though I had barely seen her over the past week, and only known her for litter longer than that- but she was still my freind, and for that... I smiled. "I'm glad that you've found a place to call home."

"Y-you aren't upset?" she breathed- and I saw that she'd been crying, or about to.

"How could I be? I'd stay too if I could. But I still have places to go," I replied softly. "This isn't goodbye though- I'll be back."

Tsubame sat down beside me, leaning close. My next words caught in my throat as I felt her hand on my shoulder.

"No... this isn't goodbye," she said, and she'd said it with a smile, though I couldn't see her face.

I... I knew what happened then.

* * *

><p>It was morning- I could tell because the sun had risen and while the supertech windows of the Enterprise were polarized to make it possible to not burst into flames from the intensity of the light, it was still bright enough to wake me.<p>

I didn't want to get up, of course- I was enjoying my sleep too much. Tangled in the bedsheets, leaning against a familiar weight... all was right in the world.

Weight...

Wait...

I cracked open an eye and looked up- and up. There I was, leaning into the embrace of a winged unicorn mare with a mane made of aurora. Right.

"Tsubame," I said, coughing.

"Y-yes?" the mare replied, waking.

"You're a horse."

"I'm a... oh!"

There was a pop of displaced air and she went from Celestia-proportioned pegacorn, back to being a girl. The logical execution of cause and effect was, of course that with the mass I had been relying on for support gone, gravity kicked in and I fell-

"Hello," I said, my face a couple shades redder than a tomato. I had fallen on top of Tsubame- sort of- and was currently holding myself up with my hands on either side of her.

"Ne, Kerrus?" she asked shyly. "I'm glad it was you."

"Yeah," I replied. "Me too."

I'd always had a choice to interfere or stay out of things- that was how free will worked. But I wouldn't be who I was if I had left her to die, alone and forgotten.

We stayed like that for some time- but eventually I began to feel something familar, out there in the void... and I knew it was time to go.

* * *

><p>"Captain, the anomaly is holding position at 30,000 kilometers," Worf bellowed, finger moving across the tactical console.<p>

"Onscreen, Picard ordered- and I realized that he was human again. Q sat in a chair to his right, looking smugly self-satisfied, which made for one of the more surreal scenes I d ever witnessed.

Picture, if you will, the bridge of the Enterprise E. The crew at their stations, but a few new additions here or there. Clustered by the turbolift stand several ponies ranging from Princess Celestia herself, to Ditzy Doo, to Pinkie Pie. The latter of that number is beaming and well, and astride her stands the young pegacorn Sahara Daze, glancing around with curiosity.

Across the bridge, meanwhile, sits a very familiar blue police box, its doors open and several cables running out and plugging into an EPS relay. A very shall we say scattered, brown coloured pony- Doctor Whooves- kept poking his head out, then dashing back inside- then returning again.

And right as rain! the Doctor announced, having finished whatever jiggering he d been up to.

I was impressed- the portal he d created wasn t anything like the distortion that Armus had made. Oh, sure, I had been convinced I could master it at the time, but thinking back, I ve really got to get that crazy under control. This one, however, was far calmer. I could feel it, with that burgeoning extra sense I d begun to understand, and this portal was safe.

"I can work with this," I said aloud. The pegacorn astride me whickered and smiled at me.

"Then this is where we part, Kerrus-san," said Tsubame- now Aurora Dream, Princess of Equestria. "We'll meet again."

It was not a request nor a wish, but a statement of fact that I knew to be true.

I nodded in reply, then hefted my bags and gave one last look at the people whom I had so recently considered to be merely fiction- now they were family.

"As they say: Once more onto the Breach."

"Not without me you don't!" shouted a very angry burgundy unicorn that had just arrived on the turbolift. Sure, she was a zombie meat puppet, but apparently the soul still needs sleep. "What, you thought I was just going to leave you to get yourself killed on your own? Face it, you need me."

"Okay," I said, as clearly I wasn t going to win this argument. Privately, I was pleased as punch that Kyouko wouldn t also be joining the local pony parade, but it s not like I could tell her that midrant.

"You think you re so smart, leaving without me. Well it's not going to work, gaijin, it s not going to- wait what?"

"Okay," I repeated. Got everything you're bringing?

Kyouko's own magic includes an ability to secret items- usually food, but also other things- on her person despite the lack of physical space to do so in. In short, her saddlebags were-

"Ooh, they're bigger on the inside than on the outside, I haven t seen that outside of Time Lord technology in a long time!" enthused the Doctor, his entire equine head vanishing into a pocket. "And this is an innate capability? I thought we'd engineered magic out of the universe a long time ago, but that just goes to show its resilience!"

"Doctor," Kyouko said, her voice steely.

"Oh yes, yes, of course, I always forget you ponies and your fascination with personal space!" he replied, backing off.

"Good. Sit... stay," Kyouko replied, edging away from the excitable pony.

She turned to me and smiled, then glanced at Tsubame and winked- the latter blushing lightly.

"Well gaijin?" she said, gesturing at the spinning anomaly onscreen with a hoof. I glanced at the others- the Enterprise Crew, and the various ponies- and even Q and Zecora.

"So long," I said, activating the collar that was inset into my shirt. "and thanks for all the fish."

Then I grabbed Kyouko by the hoof, reached out with my burgeoning rift-sense, and heaved.

There was a popping noise as the Bridge vanished, and the two of us materialized in space, hanging at the center of the spinning pinwheel of warped space-time.

Kyouko was protected from the ravages of space by her magic- and I, well, I thanked the Starfleet engineers whom had designed this uniform, as it sealed me away from the elements by a thin sheath of force.

For a moment, I glanced back at the Enterprise- and then I reached out with everything that I was and braced against the hole in reality. Tapping into that strength I was only beginning to understand, I pushed, reaching out for something.

There!

I latched onto the faint echo of beyond and pulled, my body bridging this reality to that one, turning the anomaly from a mere oubliette, to a stable bridge. It hurt, but not in physical pain so much as it was a straining of a metaphysical core- perhaps my very soul as I lashed this universe to another. But before that straining could break me, it was done, and I smirked.

"Shall we?" I asked Kyouko. The mare snorted at me, but then suddenly we were moving forward, projected by eldritch force. The sides of the pinwheel closed around us, and with a gut wrenching *shift*, we left for worlds unknown.

* * *

><p>Somewhere distant, a console exploded, and she that was the Great and Powerful Trixie strained her magic beyond anything she'd ever done before. Calypso, the starfaring vessel of her saviour and friend, Doc, had suffered those years under an unforgiving sun, with barely any power to maintain itself. Now it was barely holding together- just Trixie s will and a miracle of engineering keeping the little ship from coming apart at the seams.<p>

"That's a girl there, keep holdin her, I've almost got it!" Doc yelled over the sound of sparks and the roar of plasma fire. His fingers danced across the command console as he flew the ship at breakneck speed, dodging and weaving in an attempt to bleed off speed. The engines were operational, but attitude control was shot, and the little ship tumbled and fell- and with no atmosphere or ground, there was nothing to stop them.

For Trixie, this was of course just another example of her horrid luck, but it was not something she could blame on That Mare, Twilight Sparkle. This had been solely her own fault, after convincing Doc to try the Warp Drive. Faster than Light Travel- who knew? But Doc s Federation had achieved it, and Trixie had witnessed it- for a mere moment. Then something exploded and things began going wrong.

The strain of holding the ship together intensified- and Trixie s concern began to outpace her confidence. But there was no Twilight Sparkle to save the damsel in distress this time- only Trixie and her will enforced on the universe. The cyan mare strained and focused- and strained some more, gathering everything that she was, the totality of her existence to a single point- and with that point she enforced her absolute will on reality. Perception bled, and the world washed out into grays and blacks, before vanishing entirely- yet Trixie was still aware. Colours streaked by her as she road a pillar of stardust, a cyan hued bolt of lightning splitting the sky asunder.

For just a moment, she had control- but no bearings, no sky or ground to orient by, and the stars just lines streaking past. What use was control without-

"Trixie!" shouted a Twilight Sparkle hued orb, riding a massive haze of stardust through the night. Around it clustered other orbs- auras, Trixie abruptly realized. Some were faint, and others blinding, but only one was Twilight Sparkle. Trixie locked onto that orb and focused- and Calypso heaved, righting itself and rocketing forward to meet that orb abreast the sky.

Engines straining, the starship in miniature slowed and slowed, burning huge plumes of hydrogen in a vast flare of red cutting across the sky. But inertia was not to be denied, and just as Trixie caught a flash of a concerned looking purple unicorn, the pillar of stardust she road shifted beneath her, and the universe as she knew it disintegrated into a white haze.

The last thing she saw were two surprised looking auras before something slammed into her and everything went dark.

_Chapter 3 Fin._


End file.
